Real roses have thorns
by Reficula
Summary: Set post-try. Zel, still having the emotional grace of a coconut, left Amelia, Lina and Gourry 2 years ago, leaving quite a mess behind. Some things change, some don’t. How will the situation look when he returns? AZ, LG. XF implied. Rated M for a reason!
1. Prologue: Leaving the castle

**AN:** Although I myself have a nasty habit of skipping the AN's I still feel compelled to say a few things. 

First fic on and I wasn't really planning on posting it, but seeing how there are almost no updates on this fantastic couple (yes, I truly mean that. Now flamers, be gone.), I thought I'd better throw in my little story.

It hasn't been betaed, and I can't promise anything as for the update time. ;) So now you realise that you've been promised absolutely nothing.

I don't own Slayers or any of the characters connected to the show. If I did, I'd not be a poor student. ;)

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**Leaving the castle.**

"I'm sorry… I couldn't sleep.." Amelia said to her mirror. Still wasn't good enough. She hadn't been much of a lair in her life so far, and it seemed pointless to start now. She was not at all convincing.

But Zelgadis was leaving the following morning, as were Lina and Gourry. But unlike Lina and Gourry she knew, that there was only a very slim chance, he'd ever come back. And unlike Lina and Gourry, she actually really wanted him to stay.

She blushed, and took another look in the mirror.

After having defeated Dark Star they'd all headed for Sailrune, to heal up, and to return Amelia, of course. After the mess they left behind when they took off, it was the least they could do. She knew that from now on, her little adventures would be limited to a minimum. She had her royal duties, and would most probably not leave the city, unless it was on a diplomatic quest.

"I can't sleep…" she tried to make her voice sound thin and weak. But it didn't help. Not a snowballs chance in hell that he'd believe that.

She looked at the bed table, where she'd put her bracelet. She'd really like him to have it. As a keepsake, to remember her by. As a friend, if nothing else. But if she knew him right, he'd be off, as soon as the sun rose. Maybe even before that. He had said his goodbyes at the dinner, very formally and cold.

"…can't sleep.." she mumbled.

She took a deep breath and took the bracelet. Lie or no, she was going to give it to him, no matter what. And maybe even confess to him? She blushed just thinking about it, and thought she'd rather not pull that stunt just yet.

When she went out her door, she saw the backside of Lina and Gourry, obviously heading towards the kitchen. She smiled. They were midnight-snacking again, the two of them. It was so nice to see those two together. Even if it was in a rather bizarre way. She silently followed them, until she reached Zel's room further down the hall.

He wasn't in his room, but then again, she wouldn't have expected him to. She ran down to the library, barefooted and in her light nightgown, and opened one of the heavy double doors. She then took a deep breath, and went inside.

Not in that book either. Zelgadis slammed the heavy, dusty tome, and put it back on the shelf. Surly, the Sailrune library on white magic was extensive and by far the biggest collection of white magic spells he'd ever seen. But there was nothing of use to him. Well, that was just the last thing he needed to check. He walked back to the desk in the middle of the room, to take his stuff, ready to leave, when the door opened.

"Zelgadis-san?" an only too familiar voice called out. Amelia was standing in the doorway, almost wearing a nightgown. By "almost" meaning, that the parts where it wasn't transparent, were very short.

Zel frowned. This was neither the time, nor the place for a confrontation with Amelia, and her little infatuation. The whole thing was beginning to annoy him, really badly. The fact that this girl had a crush on him was just one of the world's most cruel jokes to date. It seemed destiny would never seize playing nasty little tricks on him.

Amelia was just the kind of girl who would put into perspective how much of a monster he really was. By falling in love with him she'd proven that she was not only naïve beyond limits, but also too pure-hearted for a freak like him.

It would seem she was mocking him, and so he'd thought in the beginning. But then he realised that she really WAS infatuated with him. Which only served to fuel his self-hatred even more. Amelia was just the type, who'd fall in love with somebody, because she could "save" them. And that fact alone confirmed to him, that he really needed being saved. No matter what she claimed, he was a monster. And deep inside, she still saw him as such.

He gritted his teeth, trying not to show, though.

Maybe if he were human. Or maybe, if she hadn't been so pure that it would pain him even to consider it. Or maybe, if she hadn't been a princess. He snapped out of his line of thoughts, as he felt something tugging his sleeve for attention. Or maybe, if she wasn't such a child!

"Zelgadis-san..?" She sounded like she'd said something to him. And judging from the colour of her cheeks, it might have been important.

He tried his best not to look too discontent when he looked at her, and said.

"Yes? Anything you wanted?"

She blushed. Zel thought to himself that this one was going to be tough to sneak out of. He started to pretend he was checking if his stuff was all packed, even though he'd checked that many times that night.

"I.. Well, I couldn't sleep and.."

He cocked a stony eyebrow. A lie, obviously. Well, this started out nicely.

"..And since you're leaving tomorrow, I just wanted you to have this.." she presented the bracelet in her open palms with an odd mixture of shyness and beaming warmth.

This was definitely not going to be an easy one to sneak out of.

"And why do you want me to have it?" he asked, and then instantly wondered why he was asking her leading questions. He should just have taken it, no questions asked, and then went out the door. Too late now. He cursed to himself, as he watched Amelia's cheeks grow crimson red.

"Well…" she bit her lower lip. "..Because I wanted you to have something with you, that's mine.. So that it will be the light of love and justice that will shine upon you on dark nights, I guess.." she smiled, and tilted her head a little.

Zel, realising that he'd just thrown the pebble that started the landslide, tried his best to figure out how to avoid any further contact with the subject. He took the bracelet, and put it in his backpack. Fleeing was a lot easier than confrontation, after all. And this particular subject was a little touchy, especially since he'd done his best to avoid even considering what his feelings were on that topic, and he was not very keen on the thought of starting out considering it now.

"Well.." he said, picking up his stuff. "I'll be off then!"

She stepped in front of him, blocking his way out. Her nightgown slid down her left shoulder, leaving a little more moonlight kissed skin to be seen. She had an unusual determined look in her eyes. That kind of determination was usually reserved for justice speeches. Zel looked at her quizzically, trying to make his wonderment shine through the stone skin.

What was she doing? Did she think that she could actually stop him? That was ridiculous. He knew she was well aware of the fact, that he was far stronger than her, in just about any area, mentally as well as physically. A slight push and she'd be out of his way. It would be no effort at all. Not to mention able to run away from her, with a speed, she'd never be able to match.

So why was she standing there? Out of principle? Out of love, perhaps? Or what she thought was "love". He huffed. Whatever the determination in her pretty blue eyes sprang from, it was no match for him.

"Zelgadis-san.." She had that same determination in her voice now. Where was the justice-speech? It had to come sooner or later. "I.. I would really like you to stay.. at least for another day…"

Damn.

"There's something I'd really like to discuss with you…" Her cheeks flushed. "It's very important… to me.."

Double damn.

Zel sighed. The topic of said future discussion was obvious. And the outcome was obvious. Even if he could love her, even if he did, he'd never let himself. He was a monster, and it seemed nothing would reverse that. Although he still hoped to find a cure, there was no point in getting her hopes up. The discussion would probably end in tears and justice-speeches, and Amelia being too blind to see the obvious truth. He wasn't going to stay for that.

But then again, she didn't look like somebody who'd listen to that kind of reason at this point. And knowing Amelia, it was probably fruitless to explain it to her. This was bad. He'd really rather not have it come to this. Both for her sake, and his. Well… Perhaps mostly his.

He sighed. Well, no way around it. If she weren't willing to realise what a monster he was, he would have to make her. She'd never get far in life trusting everybody. Especially not freaks like him.

It pained him, really. Mainly because for some time, he'd occasionally considered actually allowing himself to have some kinds of feelings towards the young girl in front of him, other than just those of friendship and respect already much too present in his heart. But then he'd always reminded himself that she was a princess, and even if he did become a human, nothing would ever come of it.

It didn't matter. Besides, her feelings wouldn't linger. It was but a child's infatuation. If he could serve at least as a lesson, then he was willing to sacrifice whatever might have been between them. Amelia had to learn sooner or later, and since there'd never be anything between them…

He grabbed her shoulders.

"Amelia.." He stopped a second, watching those perfectly blue eyes, looking up at him.

"Y…yes, Zelgadis-san?" she said in a low whisper. She slightly tip-toed to get closer to him.

It would be so easy to seduce her. To kiss her, let his fingers run over her and.. Zel shook the thought out of his head.

And this was exactly why she had to learn! It was too easy. If he could seduce her, then so could every freakish monster in and beyond the kingdom! Just because she would refuse to realise the obvious. That true monsters do exist, and yes, that they occasionally would wear white, like him. And that they could befriend themselves with her, like him. And easily gain access to her mind, body and soul, like him.

The thought of some monster, like him, taking advantage of her, made his blood boil. He could not allow it to happen. And if he had to sacrifice his growing emotions, his reputation and his hope, to ensure that it would never happen, then so be it!

He knew only too well how to kill off emotions, he was stronger than that. After all, Rezo had made him so.

While he was thinking, Amelia had used her chance to step a little closer to him, slightly leaning herself against him. She slowly, hesitatingly, placed a hand on his chest, proving to him that she had fully misunderstood the situation she was in.

Zelgadis grabbed her wrist, and removed her hand from his chest.

"You won't find any heartbeat in there." He said, gravely, looking at her with narrowed eyes. A truth with modification, but it worked to get her attention at least. "Just like you won't find any love or warmth."

It worked. She looked at him with wonder and a bit of despair as it dawned on her, that he could not love her. Good. Now, to scare her. He took a deep breath. Here went three years of friendship and silent admiration.

He quickly snatched out, grabbing her other wrist. He tightened his grip, and before she could even begin to comprehend what was going on, he had her slammed against the nearest bookshelf, him holding her wrists with one hand, stretched out over her head. He leaned in over her. Her eyes widened in fear as he traced a hand from her cheeks, over her jawline and down her neck.

"Ze-Zelagdis..san?!" she stammered, eyes flickering from his hands to his eyes.

"You're finally beginning to realise, young princess.." He smiled demonically. "what kind of monster, you're standing in front of!"

He pressed his body against hers, smashing her back against the bookshelves behind her. He needed a scream. He needed to be chased away. If he just stopped and walked away, she'd realise that it was all just an act. Why didn't she scream?

"This is not like you, Zelgadis-san!" she said, obvious fear in her voice, but she apparently tried to contain it. In vain. His ears picked up the slightest trebling.

He laughed, sarcastically, and tried to make it sound more brisk and demonic than usual.

"Do you really think, little miss Justice, that you know what is and isn't like me?" He pressed his body against her even more. "You don't even seem to realise what I am!"

She looked so delicate, in the moonlight coming in from the huge window. And with the candlelight coming from the other side. She looked scared, and yet so inviting.

He lowered his head, still holding her arms above her head with the one arm, and sniffed her neck and jawline. He liked her neck, and gently nibbled on her shoulder. He then realised that he had momentarily lost his self-control. Regaining it and resuming his little "project scare Amelia" he gave out a snarl. Without further warning he dug his teeth deeply into her shoulder, causing her to whimper in pain. But not cry out.

He hated this. Most of all he hated that he liked it. Liked scaring little Amelia. Liked knowing that there was nothing she could do to stop him. This was the final proof that he indeed was a monster.

Scream, for the gods' sake! Why wouldn't she? All he needed was a scream. That would call the guards, and he could then flee the castle, never to return. This was not the time for her to be brave.

Maybe he could push the bookshelf over, and make it look like an accident. That was certain to draw some attention. While Zel thought on, he continued to bite her and rub his hands over her body, trying to make her scream. She only whimpered and sobbed. She was crying. Innocent little Amelia was crying. Damn you, monster.

All of the sudden, his ears picked up somebody chattering outside the library. Zel heard it long before Amelia could even begin to pick it up. It was Lina and Gourry. Zel knew it was only a matter of time before they'd cross the open library door, and see the two of them inside.

He slightly panicked. He could escape from the guards, but Lina and Gourry, now that was a whole different story. He threw Amelia to the floor, grabbed his stuff, and flung himself out the window, crashing it, as Lina and Gourry passed the door.

The last thing he saw of them was Lina running towards Amelia, who lay on the floor, bleeding from her shoulder, and Gourry running right after her, a ham in his hand.

As Zelgadis flew over the City of White Magic, he whispered a slight farewell, and pressed Amelia's bracelet to his chest. While he hadn't exactly loved her, he had definitely cared. And now there was no way back. Hopefully she'd learned the lesson. Never trust a monster.

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**AN:** Stay with it. It gets better, and a lot less dark-ish. ;) Reviews are welcomed of course, but I'm not resorting to begging. I just hope you enjoy the story.


	2. Some things change

**AN: **Chapter two. Or one, depending on how you look at it. Yes it's a little out of character, but bear with me. ;) Remember, I'm primarily putting this up to try to get the fanficcers on this couple writing again, since it's all more or less gone into stagnation. ;) So if you're out there, having a half finished ZA fanfic, then yes, I've probably read it, and yes, I want you to bloody continue it, dammit!

I've got a couple of chapters written, but let's just see if it's anything you'd waste your time on anyways. ;)

Again, I don't own Slayers, or anything remotely connected to it.

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**Some things change. **

It had been a little more than two years since any of them last saw Zelgadis. He was, supposedly, off to find his cure. Lina and Gourry, to nobody's surprise, had hooked up, gotten themselves a nice house outside of Sailrune, and were for now rather settled. Lina was a bit on the pregnant side, to say the least. So, on orders from her husband, she was taking it easy.

"Easy" here meaning no blowing up inns, no adventure, no trashing bad guys and stealing their treasures and no adventuring. It bored her, but then again, she was to be a mother now. A whole new world. She chuckled.

She would miss the adventuring, of course, while she'd be unable to do so. But the thing she missed the most was the chaotic everyday life of the dysfunctional family the four of them had formed. One being her older brother, one now her husband and one being her little sister. She sighed.

Amelia. Poor girl. Whatever had gotten into Zel that night anyways? He might love the "heartless magic-using swordsman"-image, but she knew that he'd never do something like that. And certainly not to Amelia.

Even if he never really showed any signs of actually being truly in love with her, he'd always loved Amelia. At least as more than just a friend. Lina knew this, she was dead sure of it. Heck, she'd bet a full course dragon cuisine meal on it, too! And she'd used the past two years to make it all add up. But it just didn't.

The reason why she was thinking about it now, was because it pissed her off. Amelia was getting married, (well, what else could be expected) in a couple of weeks. And since Lina was pregnant, she wasn't allowed to go look for Zel. She had asked Xellos to do the honours, but she knew from experience that the trickster didn't always do what he was told.

Gourry came in the door, bringing groceries for the dinner. He smiled softly to her. She couldn't help smile back, despite her bad mood. Jellyfishbrains always could make her smile.

Zel had gone off, disappeared, without a trace, and hadn't come back. So whatever he did, he must have thought it had broken the friendship between them. Surely, when she ran in the door that night to save poor Amelia, she was ready to dragon slave the dirty bastard, no matter if he was Zel.

But seen in retrospective, it wasn't that harmful at all. He hadn't done anything really bad, but.. it just didn't add up. Did he snap? Had she pushed him? Had he been possessed? What the hell had happened, anyways!?

She got up from the chair and walked to the window, supporting her back with her hands. Two weeks. And then Amelia would be forever off limits! Not that she wanted to decide for Zel what to do. But she thought he at least should have the chance.

And then, of course, she wanted the bastard to explain himself to her. And preferably also to Amelia. That little stunt of his back then had put some nasty things in motion. Phil, for instance, had ordered people to arrest him on sight. He was, though, talked out of that about a year ago. But the resentment still lingered. And then he had urged Amelia to choose one of her suitors, and get married.

Phil was just worried, of course, but.. Forcing Amelia into marrying.. That didn't seem right. Even if the council would be on his neck, Lina would at least have expected Phil to wait until Amelia took he initiative. Forcing her seemed like such a drastic measure. Especially since Amelia for a long time refused to let go of Zel. She said she couldn't until she knew what his true feelings were. She had even refused healers to heal her shoulder, leaving behind a nasty scar as it healed up the natural and slow way.

Of course, that was a long time ago. Nowdays she claimed that she was well over him, and only looking forward to the wedding. She had to say that. Sailrune wouldn't be happy, if the princess wasn't. It was her royal obligation to be happy, no matter what.

The man, prince Orin of Zephilia, Amelia was going to marry didn't seem her type at all. He was a tall, narcissistically handsome man, with light blonde hair and a broad, shining smile. He was the epitome of the white prince. He even rode in on a white horse, for crying out loud! And although that seemed all nice and fairytalish, it just didn't seem right!

Something broke her line of thoughts, as she saw somebody head towards the house. And not just any somebody.

"By the dark lord, the son of a demon actually did it!" Lina exclaimed, mostly to herself. Xellos had actually found Zelgadis, and somehow pointed him in the right direction. She ran out to meet her old friend, Gourry following right behind her.

"ZEL!!" She shouted, and he turned in their direction.

"Zelgadis, nice to see ya!" Gourry greeted and slapped him friendly on the shoulder.

Zel let the hood fall and smiled at them.

"Nice to see you two t.." he obviously took a second glance at Lina. "You three?"

She blushed. Well, of course he'd notice. Who wouldn't these days? She should have used Xellos as a messenger when she and Gourry got married. Then Zel would have been there. Of course, that was still within the period where he was very much wanted, with a rather big reward on his head, in Sailrune and the nearby countries.

"It's so good to see you again." Lina smiled. Then she punched him, in the face. Mostly causing herself pain. "Ouch… Now that was for taking off like you did!" she said in an irritated tone, rubbing her hand.

It only took an hour to catch up on things. After hearing his side of the story, Lina took a moment to choose her words, and volume, then she decided to throw two years of pent up anger in his general direction.

"You did it for her sake, MY ASS!" Lina shouted. "No, Zel, you did it for your own selfish reasons! Because it was easier! It was easier to kill of your own emotions, and just decide to sink back into your self-pity, Zel, than to realise that this young woman actually loved you, and with good reason!"

Zel had leaned backwards from her, in fear. Gourry shook his head.

"One would've thought Zel knew you well enough to expect that one." he sighed.

"One would've thought Zel would've stayed here, if he knew what's best for him." Lina added. "And now Amelia is getting married!"

Zel coughed a little of his tea up again.

"M..married?" he then seemed to regain his cool. "That's wonderful… isn't it?"

He looked at Lina, and she couldn't really decipher if he actually meant it. Maybe she'd been wrong about him. All this time she'd been sure that he actually was in love with Amelia, and here he was, actually genuinely looking happy on her behalf, albeit a bit shocked. Something wasn't right.

"Yeah, to some deadbeat, prim and proper prince charming.." Lina sighed. "I mean, he seems nice and everything.. He's just not Amelia's type of guy, if you know what I mean."

"Could only be an improvement.." Zel added, with his usual monotone sarcasm. He seemed like he didn't catch the hint. "And here I thought Xellos was actually serious for a moment, when he said that you all desperately needed my help.." he sighed. "Should've known better than to trust that son of a bitch!"

Lina knew Zel well enough to know, that his next move would be to go off again, to find his cure. So she tried with a pre-emptive strike.

"You know, you really should go see her." She said. "You're so close to Sailrune anyways, so why not?"

Gourry nodded.

"Yeah, I'm petty sure she's been worried sick 'bout you, Zel." He concurred.

Zelgadis looked from Lina to Gourry with an indifferent glare.

"I hardly think she'd welcome me!" he said, his voice sounding hollow somehow. "After all, I am a monster, and the very same monster that hurt her and ran off two years ago!"

For that remark he got himself a slap on his head. While Lina was rubbing her hand again, she continued.

"'Course she will! After all, she was running around, waiting for you to return, the first 1½ year. Then this prince shows up out of nowhere, and haggles himself to Amelia's hand, with her father."

She knew it wasn't entirely the way the story went, but she thought she was allowed a little artistic freedom on the truth, when it was all in the best interest of her friends' well-being. She glared to her husband. Thankfully, this wasn't one of those unfortunate moments when he had his wits about to set things straight. Good. The last thing she needed was for him to tip Zel in on the fact, that Amelia had agreed long before her father was brought into it. But it was still a cold, political marriage. She decided to follow her point up.

"I know it wasn't like you guys were dating or anything, and I know I'm probably being silly here, but don't you think it'd be better for the two of you to straighten things out before she marries?"

That remark somehow seemed to spark something inside that thick skull of his. After a long while of silence, Zel said: "I might go.. there's something I need to return to her anyways."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Zel walked towards the gates of Sailrune, not really sure what he was doing. At first, when he'd taken off two years ago, he had been fine; knowing that what he did was right and for the best. But then Amelia crept into his mind. Not just as a memory of the good old days, but as an actual, full-fledged mental representation of her. She was there. Inside of his head, and he couldn't get her out again.

It wasn't as if he was in love with her. He was pretty sure of that. More like… she had become a part of him. He felt something was lacking, when he didn't have to look after her, or hear her opinion on things, however bland it may be, or even her justice speeches. He found himself time after time thinking about, what Amelia would've said or done in this situation, and it was bugging the hell out of him.

He had to return the bracelet. He wasn't really sure, but somehow he had this intuitive idea, that it had something to do with it. So, he had to get it out of his life, in order to get her out of his life. Besides, he thought to himself, she must have had the same problem. As long as he held on to that bracelet, she'd not be freed from him. He had heard his own mental representation of Amelia say that she couldn't let go of him, as long as he hadn't let go of her.

So, it was pretty simple. Find Amelia, give her back her bracelet, and congratulate her on the engagement.

The engagement.. Hmm.. He had to check out the guy, too.. Prince Orion, or something like that. If Amelia hadn't learned her lesson, he might not be worthy of her, and she'd live an unhappy life. He had to make sure that wasn't so.

As he approached the gates, he decided to take a shortcut, so he levitated over the walls, and dropped down silently on the other side, pulled up his mask, and started to look around.

The city hadn't changed much. It seemed like the world hat just stopped turning since he left here. He hadn't found a cure either. Nothing had changed. He sighed, and turned at a crossroad. There were plenty of people in the streets, so nobody seemed to really notice him. That was at least something.

As he neared the castle, he felt something in his throat, and his little Amelia representation was crying out inside of his scull. He couldn't quite tell what she was saying, but it didn't matter. Soon he would be confronted with the real Amelia. Lina had said that she'd forgiven him long ago, but he wasn't sure.

Just like he wasn't sure that Lina was right, when she'd told him that Amelia had still claimed she loved him, up until half a year ago. It couldn't be so. Amelia's infatuation was just something temporally. Surely it must have died out, especially when she realised what a monster he was.

But what if she hadn't? Realised it, that was. What if the obvious fact that he was a monster had just slipped past her, as it'd done before? Zelgadis gritted his teeth. She was still too naïve. Nothing had changed at all.

Realising that no guard would, or should for that matter, let him in, he looked around for a way to sneak in. Maybe he had to wait for nightfall. He levitated up to a rooftop, and placed himself there, looking down upon the people and the street-life below him. He also had a good view to the castle.

Perhaps he should avoid the confrontation altogether and just put the bracelet with a note in her room. And perhaps a rose to go with that? He shook the thought out of his mind, as his mental representation of Amelia went all starry eyed upon receiving the rose. Not a good idea. That would give the wrong impression. Like he was interested in her.

All of the sudden some commotion stirred the streets, and snapped Zel out of his thoughts.

"Make way for princess Amelia!" somebody shouted.

He somehow knew it would be a bad idea to look at her. He knew it. Just don't look at her. If he didn't look at her, he wasn't actually engaging the plan of returning the bracelet, he was merely thinking it through, very carefully. If he didn't look at her, he wouldn't see something he'd rather not have seen.

He looked. Then, trying to regain his breath and heartbeat, he concluded that some things had changed.

She was gracefully riding through the city, on her white horse. Her eyes had become less naïve and sparkling, but more womanly and calm. She still had her determined look. She looked gorgeous, her raven black tresses beautifully framing that harmonious face. He knew she would. Amelia was a pretty kid; of course she'd grow up to be a beautiful woman.

He followed her over the rooftops, making sure not to be seen. She was heading for the town-square. She probably had some announcement to make. Damn she looked… stunningly beautiful.

"Good people of Sailrune!" she shouted. Her voice hadn't changed much. "As you may have heard, there have been some assassination attempts, assumingly connected to the wedding in 13 days. This act of evil and violence will be countered with more strict patrol throughout the city. I beg of you to tolerate this. It is merely a precaution and hopefully not in any way inconvenient to you. But we cannot just stand and watch while they try to undermine this political alliance between Sailrune and Zephilia. We will find these perpetrators and they shall pay for their crimes. The heavens may forgive them, but I, Amelia, will not!"

Zel sweatdropped. Okay, so some things didn't change. But for the first time it hadn't really annoyed him. Surely, it was a justice speech, but she'd cut down on the justice…

Then he thought the speech through. Assassination attempts? It wouldn't be easy sneaking into the castle then. Political marriage. So she didn't marry out of love then. He huffed. Why should she? As a princess, she was expected to marry according to politics, not love. Besides, if she married out of love, she'd probably end up with someone… like him.. A monster. Perhaps it was in everybody's best interest that she was not allowed to make that decision herself!

As if she somehow sensed him, she looked around and caught his eyes in a deadlock of regards. Zel would have moved out of the way, but didn't manage to. Then, all of the sudden, she fainted.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia woke up in her room. She'd seen Zelgadis again. But this time it seemed more real than the last 300.. She was almost sure it wasn't a hallucination. But then again, so was she the first time she thought she saw him. She sighed.

It hadn't been easy, since he left. Sure, he had given her a good scare, but she and Lina had talked about it so often, it just didn't make sense. It wasn't like Zelgadis to do such a thing. Although none of them could explain why he did it. Usually when he got possessed, due to his magical body, he wouldn't be able to speak, reduced merely to a puppet. Yet he spoke. And Amelia had a feeling that his reasons were to be found between the lines.

But all of that didn't matter now. She had to focus. The kingdom and daddy expected her to take this like a strong girl. Princesses can't marry out of love. Yet Phil allowed her to make the decision herself. He'd said he'd be willing to beat the council into submission, if she decided to marry for love.

But she knew that she'd most probably never stop loving Zelgadis, so a political marriage was okay, actually. Besides. The prince chosen for her was very… perfect.

She looked at her sleeping table. The 20 roses stood there, shiningly white, and with their thorns removed. Orin had said, that it would be unjust, if his act of love in any way should cause her pain, however little. Amelia smiled. Prince Orin was indeed a good man. There was just something… missing.

She didn't feel her heart beat fast when she spoke to him or approached him. Even the time he kissed her on the cheek, she was relatively unaffected. And then he had this nasty habit of mentioning justice in every second sentence. Amelia blushed. Surely she weren't like that.. Not anymore, at least.. But maybe she had been like that.

She felt a shiver and didn't want to think about it. She slowly got out of bed just as she heard running feet outside her chamber door. Orin's voice asked the guards to let him through. Amelia took a deep breath. Here came the fuss.

"Has anything happened to you, dear Amelia?" he asked, in a very anxious tone. He grabbed her hand and knelt down before her.

"No, I'm fine.." she sighed. Could she tell him about.. No… As far as she knew, it would only upset people, if they knew that she was seeing Zelgadis all the time, even if it was just a hallucination.

"Are you certain, Amelia dear?" he asked, trying to maintain eyecontact.

Amelia removed her hands from his, and attempted to get up from her bed.

"I'm fine, Orin!" she tried to make her voice sound firm. She looked out the window. Even if it was hallucinations she didn't really mind. Sure, it was distracting, especially when they were as vivid as today, but it was the only way she could keep a little of Zel in her life.

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

Zel was sitting on a rooftop, pretty far from the castle. What a mess he'd managed to create, and using so little time, too. Impressive, even for his standards. He took out the bracelet and looked at it. All he had to do was to deliver the bracelet. Simple, wasn't it? Apparently not for him.

"My my…" a voice rang behind him, a voice he'd rather not hear ever again, but especially not now. "And here I was, thinking it was up to us Mazoku to bring chaos into peoples lives…"

"Life is beautiful, now go away Xellos!" Zelgadis snarled, not looking at the trickster.

"Now now, you have to really mean it, or at least say it like you mean it, for it to work, Zelgadis." Xellos replied, with his cocky smile even shining through his voice. "You've managed to create quite the uproar in boring ol' Sailrune. I must applaud you. **We**'ve never been able to create this much chaos in this little haven of order."

Zelgadis wished he somehow could counter him on that one. But the flat truth of it was that he was right.

"Why did you even bring me here? Why did you agree with Lina to fetch me?" he asked instead.

"Shouldn't that be obvious? Look at all the emotional mess you've created. It is very delicious, I'm quite enjoying it." Xellos said. Then he knelt down, whispering into Zelgadis' ear. "Of course, the emotional chaos inside you would serve as a full course meal, for several Mazoku!"

Zel rose up, turned about, and grabbed Xellos by the collar.

"If you think that I willingly would put up with being your entertainment and dinner, then you're dead wrong, trash!" he snarled. "I only have to return something to her, and then I'm off!"

Xellos smiled and gently removed Zel's hand from his outfit.

"My my, aren't we touchy today?"

"Just.. Piss off, and leave me with my misery!"

"Right.. Just let me give you some advice on how to get a moment alone with the ravenously pretty little princess.." he smiled, and knew that would get the chimeras attention. "I assume you don't want to hand over whatever it is, when her angry father, jealous fiancée and their hundreds of guards are watching!"

He was right about that one, Zel thought. And he probably couldn't sneak into her room, leaving it there. Not since she fainted, having seen him. Especially if she'd told people it was him. But somehow, he gathered, she hadn't. People were still thinking it was an attempt on her life. Hence guards were patrolling most parts of the castle, even more intensely now.

"I know that she's always on this exact location, almost every night." Xellos drew forward a map and pointed. "It's usually around eight, but sometimes she waits until nine. As you can see, it's a short run from the wall, you should be able to make it to the window, with your demon speed, that is. From there, it's just opening the window, and talk to her. Or you can just leave whatever it is there, and she'll find it, for sure!"

Zelgadis was struck dumb. This was his chance. And a rather good one, too. Conveniently good, actually. He looked at Xellos, his glare full of mistrust.

"What's the trap?" he asked, voice near a growl.

"No trap. It's just like I said, basically…" Xellos said, looking utterly hurt by the accusation. Just like he always did. Something WAS fishy about it.

"Why would you like to help me?" he asked.

"Now, that… is a secret!" and in a big fruitcake smile, the mazoku vanished with a sizzle.

Zel felt like cursing the bastard, but his plan might work. The map, for sure, was useful in itself. And the information that Amelia would be in that room each night was very useful too. Maybe it was a library. He knew she had a habit of reading up on her magic each night. That could also explain why there were practically no guards there, according to Xellos' map, that is. Each guard and his respective route were nicely marked out with red ink on the map.

Right. The plan might suck, but it was the best he had. Less complicated than before. He'd just leave the bracelet in the room minutes before she'd arrive. Then she, and nobody else, would find it, for sure. And he'd be freed from her, once and for all.

**xxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

**AN: **Hope you liked it. Again, I don't have much to say to my defence. ;)


	3. A perfect plan?

**AN:** Oh what the heck. I thought if you were reading it at all, you might like a little more of the story, since it sorta stops a little awkwardly. Again, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A perfect plan?**

It had been a cakewalk. Simple as that. Sure, there'd been some guards at the outer wall. But as he kept reminding himself, if Prince Phil could sneak into (or close to) the castle, while he was presumably dead, and Amelia under heavy threats of assassination, then so could he! He didn't look as suspicious as Phil, nor was he as big, and his urge for power-poses didn't run quite as high. However, having dressed in something darker to better blend into the night might have been a good idea. Oh well, too late to think of that now.

He was in the garden. According to the map this would be the hard part. For some reason this part of the castle was very well guarded, but not up close. Which meant, that if he managed to sneak past the guards, he'd be safe. They, for some reason, wouldn't patrol the inner castle wall here. He somehow gathered that it might be some holy place, instead of a library. It seemed like people weren't allowed near it.

Good for him that he didn't exactly respect that kind of holiness. With a slight stain of guilt, he thought of the temples he'd blown up, in search of his cure… He'd lost count.

His keen eyes and ears quickly picked up any traces of guards. He had to time it correctly, but by doing so, he was able to sneak from shadow to shadow, using his incredible speed to run between his safe places. This was easy.. Too easy. Somehow he was sure that Xellos had set him up. When he entered that room, he was sure that at least 20 guards would be there, waiting. Better not to fall directly into the trap. But then again, there was that slight chance, that it wasn't a trap… He had to take it.

How very clever, Zelgadis thought, as he approached the designated window. It was made with some sort of mosaic, so it was impossible to see anything through it. Very clever indeed, Xellos. Now I won't be able to see, whether it's a trap or not. But you underestimate me.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on the sound. If there were any guards in there, he'd know. He'd be able to hear their breathing, the sound of their spears scrambling slightly against the stone floor. Or their shields perhaps. But nothing he heard sounded like guards. Actually, the room was quiet, apart from the slight tickling sound of a fountain, of some sorts. He was quite sure now, this was NOT a library. But then what?

He then heard familiar footsteps. Back in the old days, it'd been his warning, to know when to expect a justice-speech-sneak-attack. But now it was the sound he'd been longing to hear. Mostly because they were the only footsteps.

However, this meant, that he was too late. No way he could leave the bracelet. So, he had to hand it to her, in person. In his mind, his mental representation of Amelia was split between two reactions. Either, she'd be happy to see him, which would be nice, but rather cruel, since.. well, that would mean that she hadn't learned anything at all, and that he'd only somehow wasted the two last years actively avoiding her. Or, she'd be furious, calling the guards, which would be sad, but preferable. Especially since he didn't really know how she'd react when he returned the bracelet.

There was a soft sound of her dropping something soft and light on the floor. It sounded like a cloth of some sort, but he wasn't sure. Then, a suspicion struck him. If there weren't guards there, and indeed Amelia was alone, there was no trap, and the bastard Mazoku had indeed been telling the truth, then there had to be something else very wrong with this room. The sound of Amelia, barefooted over a damp stone floor, dipping a foot or something in water confirmed his suspicion. Especially after he heard her lower herself into the water with a soft sigh.

A bath, oh, how very original, Xellos! Zelgadis thought, sarcastically. Yeah, you'd have liked if I'd walked in on a naked Amelia.. That would **really** have stirred the entire city, in a way no Mazoku would ever be able to match!!

She hummed something, and was obviously pouring water over herself. It was bad enough listening to it.. There was no way he could suppress the mental images… But somehow he also felt reluctant to go.

He convinced himself that it was mainly because he would get caught, if he just ran away, and that he had to plan his escape from his current hideout in the bush underneath the window carefully. And to plan that carefully he needed to concentrate, something very impossible when he kept hearing soft moans of pleasure, while he imagined how she was sitting in there, with the water caressing her body.

The bracelet. Could he somehow throw it in, if he opened the window, slightly? No, that would be too impersonal. But right now, he'd really rather not be too personal with her. Not while she was naked at least.

"I saw you today, didn't I, Zelgadis?"

Her words made him freeze in his current position, and made a chill run down his spine. How did she know he was there? He hadn't made the slightest of sounds, dammit!

"But it couldn't be you…I was just hallucinating again…" she sighed, and moved about in the water. "I wonder where you are, though, how you're doing… And why I'm talking to myself again…"

Zel sighed in relief. Not noticed. It wouldn't be a good impression either. He'd not only be a monster, but a peeking one of the kind. How low could one get?

Just to put that one into perspective, he hard an only too well-known sizzle, and an annoying voice to go with it.

"My my, Zelgadis, it seemed like I was right, it's a little past eight, and our precious little princess is right where she usually is, this time of night!" Xellos whispered, after appearing right beside Zel.

He looked at him, with his head tilted slightly and an surprised expression.

"What are you doing on the ground, Zel? Impersonating a rock? You're quite missing your chance, you know.."

"To return the bracelet, I don't think so!" Zelgadis hissed. "You knew this, you lying son of a.."

"Ah ah, Zel-kun.. I never lied." He said, pointing accusingly at Zel with a gloved finger. "Besides, I thought you'd be thrilled. I serve you a 18 year old, innocent, naked beauty, virgin for all I know, and you bicker over details.. Some gratitude!"

Zel, upon grabbing the tricksters collar again, had to fight the urge to scream at him. After a while of calming down he snarled:

"What part of this did you possibly think I would like?! Being reduced to a peeping-tom? Or putting Amelia in an un-dignifying position? Not to mention taking advantage of the situation? Huh? What part, Xellos! Somehow, I don't see it!!"

"You might not be enjoying this, Zel, but I quiet am." The trickster remarked and looked at the window.

Then a thought struck Zel. Xellos knew she was here, he knew it, and so he could have…

"You'd better not been peeking at her!!" Zelgadis snarled between gritted teeth.

"Come now, how else would I have been able to gather the information you needed?" the priest just replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "It has quite an advantage to be able to come and go as one wishes."

Zel fisted his hand, ready to punch the Mazkou into the next week, but thought better of it, Amelia would notice.

"And she has such a perfect body, too.. Apart from the scar, that is!" Xellos added, one eye open, smiling knowingly.

Upon hearing the first part of the sentence, his fist was well on its collision course with Xellos' face. Upon hearing the second part of it, the fist stopped.

Scar. What scar? He thought. Not the one from..

"Yes," Xellos replied, as if reading his thoughts. "the scar you gave her, Zel-kun."

He disappeared with a sizzle again, before Zel could manage to snap out of it and continue the punch.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia felt the water heat her body up. She loved taking baths. The only thing she really missed when on adventures was a good bath. That thought send a line of other thoughts down her mind. Adventures, fun, friends, Zelgadis…

"I saw you today, didn't I, Zelgadis?" She leaned her head against the marble edge of the pool. She looked up at the ceiling.

"But it couldn't be you…I was just hallucinating again…" she sighed, and sank a little deeper into the water, trying to comfort herself, she put her arms around herself.. "I wonder where you are, though, how you're doing… And why I'm talking to myself again…"

She was sure she had that feeling that something was wrong. The same kind of feeling you have, when somebody you don't like appear, or when you have this feeling that you forgot to turn off the oven. But she couldn't see anybody, and dismissed the thought. After a while the bad feeling disappeared. After ten more minutes she looked at her hands, they were all prunish.. Time to get up.

She got up, and dried the worst of herself with the towel. Then she went to the window still, and opened the window. A lot of hot air formed little clouds as they were led out into the cold night air. She looked at it..

"Zelgadis… Where are you?" she sighed into the starry night.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The very mentioned chimera was sitting, right underneath the window and trying not to move, not to make a sound, not to breathe and not to exist at all, at that very same moment.

Go back inside…Please Amelia, go back inside! If you see me here, I'll probably die of shame. His thoughts raced. Part of him, a growing part, really wanted to let his eyes wander up to the window and look at her. She was leaning out the window, and he wasn't really sure if she was wearing anything. But he could clearly sense her, smell her warm, damp skin. Then he was saved by the bell.. Or the maid, more correctly.

"Your majesty? Prince Orin is waiting for you."

A sigh, almost childlike in its irritation eloped the princess' lips.

"I'll be right up…" She ran from the window, and Zel could breath again.

He quickly made his way past the guards, and escaped the city.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Lina was woken by the sound of her front door being opened. She looked beside her. Nope, Gourry was still there, not sleepwalking or night snacking without her. So, who was the unlucky thieving bastard who'd picked her house? Whoever he was, he wasn't gonna get much time to regret his choice, 'cause this morning sickness was really getting to her, and she needed to react on somebody. A petty burglar was actually welcomed.

She had her fireball ready even before she opened the door to her living room. Hence, there was no stopping it, even when she realised that it was just Zel. Served him right though, sneaking up on an innocent soon-to-be-mother like that!

"Sheesh, what the heck are ya doing here, Zel!?" she demanded to know.

The newly roasted Zel glared at her, indifferently. Gourry came out from the bedroom.

"What's happenin'?" he asked, drowsily, rubbing sleep out of his eyes, and seemingly totally unfazed by the chaos in front of him.

"Zel's back!" Lina explained. "But what he's back for, however, I don't know!"

"A favour!" the crisped chimera said, coldly. "And I needed a place to sleep!" he added.

"You can have the couch." Gourry offered, and was well on his way back to bed.

"Hold on a sec, what's this favour thing, anyways?" Lina asked, suspiciously.

"I need you to deliver something for me… Something that has to be given to Amelia, in person…." He swallowed, and looked at the floor. "But I couldn't get a chance to do so myself… You guys are her friends, so surely you can-"

"You're her friend too, Zel!" Lina inferred. "And if it's something personal, I want no part of it! You have to do stuff like that yourself!"

Upon seeing her bluish friend sulk, she added:

"However, I might be convinced to persuade the young princess to have an audience with you…" and when she saw that did nothing to improve his mood "..or to go somewhere, and you can just accidentally bump into her there…"

It was the best offer he was going to get, and he knew it.

"Thanks Lina… We'll talk about it tomorrow…"

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Zelgadis didn't sleep very well. First of all, it wasn't that comfortable a couch, and second, he had nightmares. Now, it wasn't just the usual stuff with him being turned into a chimera. He could deal with those. No, this new, upgraded nightly horror had Amelia in it. And she was…. Miserable. It seemed like she had scars all over her body, and that they all seemed to spring from the scar he once gave her. His bad feeling about the marriage manifested itself too, in a part of the dream where Orin killed Amelia to be sole ruler of both Sailrune and Zephilia.

When he woke up, screaming, he could of course rationalise that Orin would never do such a thing, and that the scar he once gave Amelia wouldn't spread. It was all just silly thoughts. But it seemed so real..

And one thing was painstakingly obvious to him: She hadn't learned. She still missed him. Perhaps not as a loved one, but at least as a friend. She surely hadn't learned.

And if she hadn't, she probably never would. So, she needed somebody to protect her. Somebody powerful. He had to check out if this Orin would be strong enough to do the job. But if he attacked him to check that one out, he might kill Amelia's groom by accident, and then it'll all be uproar again. She needed his advice. And to give that, he was painfully aware that he had to cast away his pride, and seek her out, face to face.

He told all this to Lina, when she finally woke.

Lina sceptically raised an eyebrow, and crossed her arms, slightly leaning back against the chair she was sitting on. She gave him the "You don't really believe I buy this"-look, and Zel felt somewhat relieved that Gourry was sitting between them. Gourry on the other hand seemed to understand that reasoning a little better. This was protector-speech, just his kind of language.

"Hey, I understand that, Zelgadis!" the blonde said with a broad smile. "You wanna protect Amelia, right? But I just don't get why you just don't stay there and to it yourself?"

Zelgadis was momentarily loss for words, and Lina used this opportunity.

"Okay, cut the protector crap! Amelia is a strong girl, and able to take care of herself! You guys should know that by now." She said in a stern voice. She then looked at her husband and thought of all the times, where he'd saved her sorry ass. Okay, so maybe no woman was an army on her own, but still. "..And even if she did need a protector, your idea of "testing" her fiancée, Zel… It just doesn't feel right."

Gourry put an arm around Lina, and tugged her slightly to his chest.

"If I ever had to hand you off to somebody else, I'd make damn sure they were capable of protecting you, Lina. That is, I'd probably fight them to the very end, and if they beat me, they beat me." Gourry said, his voice a little more serious. Linas cheeks gained a healthy pinkish colour, not entirely a blush, but close.

Zel wasn't really sure he liked Gourry's perspective on this whole situation. It was nothing like their story. But no point in arguing. At least he had a supporter for his idea.

Lina however, still didn't like the idea. She'd tried to reason with the princess, but it hadn't done her any good. Besides, she thought that Zel's concern regarded her fiancées strength was misplaced, at best.

But then she saw an opportunity, both to give her intuition one last shot to prove itself right, and to have lots of free meals. She and Gourry agreed to follow him to Sailrune, to live with the princess for a while. After all, she HAD once promised them, that they could drop by, any time they liked.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia had had a very busy morning. Diplomatic stuff, wedding invitations, ball-arrangements, all that kind of stuff that you'd really rather not do when preoccupied. And she was. Very much so, actually.

Not just because of her hallucination yesterday. But also because she wasn't really sure, that she could go through with this political wedding. It somehow seemed wrong, especially because Orin actually seemed very… affectionate towards her. Especially lately.

What should she tell him? How would he react when he found out, that she didn't love him, and possibly never would?

A break was welcomed, and so she was thrilled when she heard that Lina and Gourry had arrived. She didn't know why, and she didn't care. Even if they just came for the food, it was still better than being alone with gloomy thoughts.. She wondered how Zelgadis could cope with it. He was always alone with his gloom, and somehow he'd managed to stay alone with it even in the company of friends.

When she entered the hall, where they were already making their way through a "little snack", the staff had put out for them, she lit up in a smile.

"Lina-san, Gourry-san!" she exclaimed and flung her arms around Lina. "Wow, you've grown so big!"

Lina proudly straightened her back, so that her stomach was visible in all its round glory!

"Yeah, I have, haven't I!" she smiled. "And I'm looking damn beautiful with it too! Besides, my breasts have grown a bit, too, due to hormones or some stuff like that!"

Amelia nodded, not really sure what to say. Better not comment it at all, that would be safest. She then asked the question she always asked..

"You haven't… y'know…. Heard from.." she started out, hesitatingly.

"Zel?" Lina concluded, like she always did. It was always the same question. Only this time around there was a new answer: "Sure we have!"

Amelia snapped for her breath.

"Really?"

"Yes really." Lina said, returning to the snacks, and sounding a little distant.

Amelia swallowed.

"So… how is he?" She finally dared to ask.

Lina, not looking at her, but fighting Gourry over a chicken leg, replied.

"Well, he's Zel.. He's never really anything, 'cept self-pitying, and stuff like that.."

Amelia looked at her feet.

"So, where is he, these days?" She asked.

Lina gave her a short, wry smile.

"He's actually in Sailrune as we speak."

Amelia's eyes became impossibly wide.

"Why didn't you say so right away, Lina-san?!" she almost shrieked, and ran off..

After a few seconds, she returned, asking where he might be. Lina told her the truth: That she had no idea whatsoever!

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

It sure wasn't cheap. But then again it didn't have to be. Actually it hadn't mattered what they'd cost, 'cause it was the thought that mattered. Halfway to the castle he'd realised that he was missing something. And so, he'd gone to find a flower vendor. Found a pretty good one too, with lots of different and pretty flowers. But that only amplified his problem. What to buy her? If it was the thought that counted, then he'd better choose that thought well…

He could buy her lilies.. But then again, weren't those mainly used for funerals? Daisies then? Naw, too plain. After a 10 minutes conflict, moving his way through all the flowers, dismissing one after the other, he settled on the least creative choice: Roses. Red ones, with natural length, and thorns. He considered buying thorn-less roses, but thought better of it.

If it really were the thought that mattered, then removing the thorns would have a false signal value. Even if it was only a friendly present, to show that he was kinda sorry that he left two years ago, and especially the way in which he did so, he needed the flowers to represent their relation.

Giving her thorns only might have seemed more right, but a little too dramatic. So thorny roses would do the trick. He hurt the people he liked, even when it wasn't his intention. She of all people would understand that.

On his way back to the castle he was met by a scream. But not a scream of fear, like he was used to, no.. A scream of joy. Carrying his name, no less.

"Zelgadis-san!!" it rang out and hit his ears in time for him to turn around to face the girl launching at him with spread arms, quickly colliding with his chest, flinging her arms around him in a hug. He mused. It was funny how she apparently had grown towards everybody else, but towards him, she apparently still acted like the little naïve girl she'd always been.

He allowed himself to hug her back a little before he broke of the hug. She took a little step away from him, recalling his need for a large personal space. She looked up at him and smiled. Zel noticed that she looked even prettier up close. She'd grown taller, too.

"It's been such a long time.." she remarked, and beamed all over the place.

"It has." Was his short reply.

"I've been so worried about you…" Amelia tried to read his face, but somehow, over the past two years, she'd lost the ability to read him like an open book.

"I've been fine.." He really tried not to sound cold, but failed. To make up for his unfeeling tone of voice, he added, with a wry smile. "Haven't found my cure yet, though, as you can see!"

"I'm happy to hear that!" She beamed. Zel figured she must've been referring to the first part of his statement. However, he wasn't quite sure. For some odd reason, even though she claimed that she wished him all happiness in the world, she somehow seemed as if she didn't want him to find his cure.

"Oh… I've bought you these…" he coughed to clear his throat and handed her the roses.

She received them, and went, after his prediction, all starry eyed.

"Awww, thank you, Zelgadis-san!" She closed her eyes and inhaled the roses smell. Then, she stung herself.

Zelgadis saw her faint winch. She really tried not to show, and didn't even complain about the slight pain. But the symbolic value was worth it all. Sure she was happy to see him, but he would eventually hurt her again.

She just beamed another one of her smiles to him, and said:

"I'm so happy you're here, Zelgadis-san. I hope you'll stay at the castle for a while?"

"That was my plan, yes." He said quietly.

"Great!" Starry eyed she ran towards the castle. "I'll go tell the staff, so they can get some rooms ready for Lina, Gourry and you!"

**xxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

**AN:** I might upload a chapter more, just to give a little more of the story. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoy. ;)


	4. For the love of Justice!

**AN:** Thanks for the reviews. It's nice to know I've got a few readers already. I'm glad you like it. :) Still, if you happen to be one of those who like this couple, maybe even one of those who have a half-finished story with this couple, then get to writing! As I said before I only got around to uploading this because there ain't enough good stories out there supporting this canon couple. ;) Write dammit! We need more ZA!!

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxx**

**For the love of Justice!**

Zel hadn't really liked the idea that he was about to stand face to face with Phil again. Daddy of Doom. The thought was scary in itself, but on top of everything, he was the lucky monster that had scared and scarred Phil's precious daughter. And then of course, let's not forget his great finale, by running off without an explanation.

He feared the worst as he went from his room to the dinner table. As usual Lina and Gourry were already there, waiting for the last person to arrive so they could dig in the vast amounts of food. For that reason, Zel got a killer-glare for being late.

"Shees, Zel! We're starving here! Get your stony ass down that chair now!" Lina demanded. "I gotta eat for two now, remember!"

"Two? Cutting down on your food intake, then?…" Amelia remarked under her breath, somehow sending a chilling smile upon Zelgadis' face. Was that... his sarcasm?

"Did you say something, Amelia?" Lina asked, with a glare and a flat voice. The princess hurriedly shook her head with her hands in front of her.

"N-nothing!" she said with a nervous smile.

Zel sat down next to Gourry and tried to avoid the glare of Phil. Thank god he didn't have to face both Phil and Orin. But Phil was bad enough in himself.

Phil was looking more like an angry bear than he ever had. Zelgadis swallowed, and wondered whether Phil could kill him with his glare over the table. Phil finally stopped his killer glare, and said:

"Welcome, Lina-san and Gourry-san!" with his loud voice, and made his trademark laugh. "You know how we always enjoy having you over! Amelia's friends are my friends, too!"

Zelgadis wished he hadn't attended this dinner. The fact that he wasn't mentioned meant that something bad was going to happen. Hopefully they'd just socially ostracize him. He could live with that. Actually, he'd prefer that any day to a direct confrontation.

Amelia lifted her glass, and nodded towards Zel.

"And welcome to you, too, Zelgadis-san!" she smiled, and her voice sounded defiantly determined, as if to make it clear that she hadn't approved her fathers exclusion of Zel. "Good friends are always welcome, especially the long lost ones!"

Stupid Amelia. Why did she have to draw the attention towards him?

"Good friends, perhaps, Amelia dear.." Phil mumbled. "..But when a friend do you unjust and betrays your trust, then, by the heavens, I cannot call that person a good friend!" He dramatically fisted his hands and they all had this bad feeling about a justice speech on the way.

"But I can, daddy!" Amelia quickly inferred before her father could carry on.

"You are so amazing, daughter! Your heart is not only filled with justice, but also compassion and forgiveness! What a remarkable combination!" he hugged his daughter tight.

Zel wondered if he could sneak away. However, the rest of the castle was just as bad. They all avoided him. And they all whispered behind his back. People of Sailrune hadn't originally done that, so the change kinda struck him. They'd somehow always been more tolerant of him being a chimera. It didn't really matter that he looked like a monster, to them. But the fact that he'd scared the princess, now that was something unforgivable!

Lina felt the bad atmosphere ruin her appetite, something usually not happening. She had to do something, or this would just be disaster after disaster. She knew that if people treated Zel like a monster, he would eventually turn into one, giving up on good manners, since they didn't expect him to be a good person anyways. She wouldn't have another incident. And Phil was ruining her little scheme.

"Well, of all the friends Amelia has, I guess Zel actually is her best!" she said, and closed her eyes as if thinking. Gourry used the opportunity to steal her bacon.

Amelia blushed slightly, and Zel returned his attention to the table. What the heck was Lina spouting?

"How so, Lina-san?" Phil asked, sceptically, but also interested.

"Well, I know for a fact, that Zel wouldn't hurt her, even if he was paid to.." she said, knowing that it perhaps wasn't the best choice of words, since that was exactly what he had done when he was hired by the king of Xoana. Oh well, slightly bending of the truth, no problem. It was all in the best of interests. "So, his little stunt must have had some other motive!"

They all looked at Zel, who in turn got up from the table and walked away.

Amelia ran after him, not sure what Lina was up to, but she knew better than to leave him on his own when he had that look on his face.

"Zelgadis, wait!"

"Lucky! More food to us!" Lina exclaimed. "… Hey? Where's the bacon?! GOURRY!!"

"So, Lina-san, why do you think he did it then?" Phil asked.

"Because he's a greedy bastard, that's why! Leggo Gourry! That was mine!!" she hissed, trying to reclaim her bacon.

"Mine now!" he corrected, swallowing the rest of it and ending that dispute.

"No, I meant, why do you think Zelgadis did what he did?" Phil specified.

Lina regained herself after a whiny sulk.

"Oh that.. Well, I've been thinking.." she said, and took a sip of her glass. "And if I should guess, I'd guess that he simply… Well, the things he said and all.. I think he sacrificed his friendship to teach her not to trust people. It would be a Zel-thing to do…"

"Sacrificed his friendship?!" Phil narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah, y'know, so she wouldn't be tricked by Mazoku n' stuff. Y'see, Phil.. Amelia has this…. Logic… And ehm.. Well, let's just say, that she'd be tricked any day, because she's bad at judging who's dangerous and who's not!" Lina really tried not to step wrong here, but she was in a minefield. She KNEW that Phil also trusted everybody, unless they were villains, that is, referred to themselves as such. But that was the whole point. Those who were obviously dangerous and up to no good were not the ones to be feared. It was people like Rezo, Halcyform, Phebrizzo and Xellos who were the sneaky bastards that would be able to get close enough to you to really hurt you. "I guess he'd like to prevent that Mazoku trick and use her, like they did her cousin. It.. it would be unjust…?" She offered, a little weakly.

Her last addition to her story seemed like a good move. And it worked. Phil rose up from his chair, and his voice rang through the entire dining hall.

"Oooh!! So Zelgadis-san sacrificed his friendship and honour for justice! To protect my little girl!" He brought forth his sceptre and pointed in direction of the city. "I shall punish anyone who ever speak ill of him again! Such a sacrifice shall not go unnoticed! By the heavens I swear that justice will cleanse his name!"

Lina sweatdropped. It might have saved her blue friends stony ass, but he owed her. Big time!

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile, Amelia was half running to keep up with Zelgadis' fast paces.

"It was a mistake to come back.." he muttered, while heading towards his room. He'd just go get his stuff, and be out of there. Oh yes, the bracelet. He had to give her that too.

"No, it wasn't!" Amelia objected, and tried to run in front of him to stop him. Not with much luck. "I'm very happy you came back, Zelgadis..-san."

"You might be, but unless some sort of miracle happens, the rest of the city will burn me, or try to, before weeks end!" Zel snorted and opened the door to his room.

Amelia courteously waited outside. She couldn't just walk in without his permission. After less than 20 seconds he was on his way out again, coming straight towards her, with something in his hands. She recognised it when he was about four feet from her. Her bracelet. Then one she'd given him that night.

"Here…" he said, coldly, while handing her the bracelet.

It took her a while to realise what was going on. First thought was why he'd kept it at all. Second was why he was returning it to her now? He used that time to walk past her and continue down the hall.

"You… you're leaving?" she asked as it dawned on her, voice thin in disbelief. She knew that if he returned the bracelet and left in a mood like this, it was almost certain she'd never see him again.

"Yes!" was his cold response, further down the hallway, he stopped, turned around and gave her a glance.

She ran after him.

"But you can't leave! You've only just arrived!" she begged, catching up on him. "Please stay.. At least for a short while.. Please?"

He sighed and looked at her. She hadn't changed. She'd still be fooled by anybody clever enough not to wear black, and use the word villain to refer to themselves. She wouldn't stand a chance. She was very much her father's daughter, but she was… too fragile, compared to him. She needed somebody strong to protect her. Strong. Protect. Husband. Ah, her fiancé.

"I'd like to meet your fiancée before I leave, though.." he said, not looking at her.

Of all the things he could have said.. Oh well, at least she didn't seem to take it like a jealous approach. Actually, she looked like she couldn't understand at all why he'd like to meet Orin. She smiled, though.

"As long as you stay a little longer, I don't care what the reason is!" she beamed.

He tried to smile back.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Later that evening, they were all chattering in the library. Zelgadis was checking out the new spell-books Amelia had purchased. She'd apparently gone totally shop-amok, since there was an entire new wing in the library with books on white magic. She must have felt inferior to Lina or something like that, because these were not kids play.

He marvelled over some of the finds. Rare books indeed. Perhaps even something that could contain his cure. A thought struck him. Perhaps she'd bought the books becau.. he dismissed the thought. Why would she?

Amelia was talking to Lina and Gourry about something. It seemed awfully important. Without really wanting to, he eavesdropped. It was about the wedding-night, and her voice was very shaky, embarrassed.

"Y.. you see…" she stammered, and Zel could almost hear her cheeks flush. "..it.. it's not that I don't know anything about.. it… It's just that.. Well, books don't provide an answer to my questions, just information…"

Zel could almost also hear the redhead's cheeks flush.

"Sure, whaddya wanna know?" Gourry said, unaffected.

This was private. Very much so. He'd better not listen in any further.

"Sorry, Gourry, but I think this is a girl-only talk!" Lina said.

"Okay."

…..

"Which means you leave, Jellyfish-brains!" the redhead continued, in a threatening voice.

Gourry got up and left the room. There was an awkward silence. Zel wondered if he could leave the room too, but he was three bookshelves away. The girls probably thought he couldn't hear them, and he'd only reveal that he could if he left. He decided that not to listen was a better idea.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia really hated this situation. But better to ask now, than wait. If she really was to marry Orin, she needed to know what was expected from her on the wedding night. She couldn't just tell him that it was a political marriage only. It would be cruel, since he obviously expected more. But how much more, she wasn't sure.

Lina didn't look as if she was comfortable about the situation either. Her cheeks almost matched her hair. Amelia wondered how to.. compose the question so it didn't sound too.. embarrassing. Lina broke off her line of thoughts.

"You don't have to, if you don't want to, Amelia…" she said, silently. "You know that…"

"I know but…"

"And don't do it for his sake. He's lucky to have you in the first place, as a queen. No need for him also to have you as a wife!" she said.

"But…" Amelia looked down. "Eventually I have… We have to… An heir, you know?"

"Well, you can always wait? Perhaps you'll fall in love with him eventually, and then it'll all just… fix itself?"

"Perhaps…" Amelia tried to sound optimistic. She had to.

A long silence followed.

"It hurts… That part of what the books say is true.." Lina said, crimson red, but seemingly unmotivated. "But it's worth it all.. And one quickly grows used to it. And when it's stopped hurting, it's really nice… when it's somebody you love, that is…"

Amelia swallowed. If she didn't love Orin now, she never would. He was perfect, and wouldn't really win anything on a closer look. Unlike somebody she knew. Perhaps she could grow used to him?

"What if it's… all a disaster?" she asked timidly. "What if he can't.. I mean, if he isn't… I mean, if I'm not.. Y'know… pretty enough… to.."

"You mean..?" Lina asked, swallowing something that might have been her pride. "You mean, if he's…. not… turned on by you?"

As Lina made her way past the last couple of words in that sentence, both girls grew crimson red.

"Yes…. What if he.."

"Nonsense!!" Lina said, with a slight chuckle. "You have got THE most perfect body. I can tell you, if you showed it a little more off, you'd notice that there is not the man in this kingdom, or beyond, you couldn't make drool over you! I should know, I've taken a lot of baths with you, too!"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Her voice was relieved and loud. Which also meant that despite his best efforts, Zelgadis could not avoid hearing the last bit. A stray thought remarked that she was probably right.

Which was another problem.

That appearance combined with her status and her naïve view of the world was a bad cocktail. He feared she'd have to go through something really gruesome for her to learn. And this time around, he wouldn't be the one calling the shots, so there'd be no guarantee she'd get away unharmed.

"You're only flattering me, Lina!" Amelia said. "But thanks for trying to make me feel better… It helps… But what if Orin asks about the…."

The pause told Zelgadis that she was talking about the scar. Zel cursed. Why did he have the brilliant idea to bite her in the first place? And why oh why hadn't she healed it up with magic?

"Well, you'll just have to explain what happened…" Lina mumbled. "Tell him the whole story, not just that Zel scared you, but that he also physically hurt you. He'll probably not take it very well…"

"No… He won't.." Amelia's voice grew thin. "What if he'll hate Zelgadis?"

"Then… I dunno.." Lina sounded like she really tried not to let it depress her. "I guess you'll have to make him accept him then? Zel's such a big part of your life, he can't avoid him forever!"

"And making him won't be hard…" Amelia said, her voice almost sounding a little disappointed. "He's a real pushover.. Sure, he's a fair swordsman, and a good ruler, but if I say no, he'll abide to it, and if I start to use magic, he wouldn't last five minutes in a fight… So yeah, I guess I could make him."

As much as those words amused Zelgadis, they alarmed him as well. Then another sound alarmed him. A sound of feet sneaking around out on the balcony. He quickly checked the air in the room, the door wasn't open. So why would anybody be out there. As fast as a lightning, he ran to the balcony door, and just in time, too.

The arrow broke on encountering his stony chest. But it was well aimed, and silent too. On this distance, not even the sound of the window glass breaking could have been warning enough to dodge it. Both girls shrieked in shock, mainly because Zel's sudden appearance had made them jump. They'd entirely forgotten about him being in the room.

"Get down, Amelia!" he shouted to her.

"Why, that son of a.." Lina fumed, and was on her way out on the balcony. Zel turned around to face Amelia, just to see if she was hurt. A little shaken perhaps, but nothing serious. And she didn't feel like hiding.

"That was the seventh this week.." she said in a bitter tone. "I swear, justice will come to those who-"

"Even if we did catch the guy who shot this arrow, attempts on your life will always be a part of your daily life, Amelia!" Zelgadis said, pessimistically like only he could say it.

"He's right there.." Lina added. "Damn.. I lost track of him…"

"I'll speak with Phil about some security precautions that can be made, tomorrow…" Zel said, leaving the room. "In the meantime, try not to stand directly in line of fire from the windows, Amelia."

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

**AN:** Ah yes. More storyline. I hope you still like it. I'm hoping to upload the next chapter once I've gotten around to go through it with a critical glare, fireballing errors and the like, but it shouldn't be much more than a couple of days. Then, I'll be sorta out of already written plotline.

But I'm kinda hoping uploading it here will motivate me to finish it. ;) When it's just a stray word document on my computer, it doesn't really matter if I finish it or not. But once I've put it up here, it'll officially be an unfinished story. Hopefully it'll do the trick. ;)

Again, thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy it.


	5. Watch me!

**AN:** Wow. Thanks for all the reviews. I'm truly honoured that you think so highly of this little fic. I'm commenting on the reviews at the end of this chapter, just so you know.

Now, this is the last part I've written through. I went over it two days ago, and concluded it needed a little work, so sorry it's a bit "late". I did promise it'd only be a few days, didn't I? ;; Oh well. The next couple of chapters certainly need some work, so there will be a while with no updates (I'm hoping a week, but guessing a couple of weeks).

**xxxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

**Watch me!**

Phil was upset. Furiously upset, actually, the way only Phil could be. Well, what else could be expected? His precious daughter had been wanted dead, again. And, again, it was while he hadn't been there to protect her. So, he was more than willing to listen to Zelgadis' suggestions. Zel had dragged Gourry with him to the meeting.

Gourry served two purposes. First of all, he was an expert on battle strategic. Nobody ever seemed to recognize that fact, though. But right now they would need all the expertise they could get. And second, he served as a meat-shield.

However, Phil didn't seem at all resentful towards Zelgadis today. Whatever Lina had said, it had worked wonders. Zel just hoped it wasn't too far from the truth. Nor too close to it.

Gourry was thankfully the one bringing up the suggestion that he and Zel could protect Amelia. Zel backed that one up by claiming that if they could keep her safe from Dark Star, they'd be able to keep her safe from just about any threat that might lurk out there. After that meeting it was agreed upon that Gourry and Zelgadis guarded Amelia at all times, on changing watches. Zelgadis taking most of them.

"I can go at least three days without sleep or food. I can stay constantly alert. And I don't have a family to tend to. I'll take most of the watches, Gourry!"

Gourry had tried to argue with him, but the chimera had a point. Besides, it was only until Amelia was married. Sure, she'd need bodyguards for the rest of her life, probably, but since there were so many people against this marriage, the worst part of it might be over once they were irreversibly married.

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

But of course, this little arrangement needed some getting-used-to.

The first bridge to cross was encountered that very same morning, right after their meeting with Phil. Zelgadis had to take the first watch, and so he went to wake the princess, who was sleeping in today.

He knocked. No answer. He knocked a little harder.

"Princess?" He hadn't meant to shout, but did so unintentionally. Just like his last knock made a mark on the door. Why didn't she reply?

He stood there, battling himself. His manners and decency kindly informed him that he couldn't just barge in. But his sense of protectiveness and his fear screamed at him to just open that damn door. What if she was in danger? What if he was too late? What if he'd have to stand with her dead corpse once again?

He opened the door and stormed in. She was lying there, in bed. He forced himself to keep calm. He could still hear her breathe.

"Princess?" he asked again, nearing the bed. She still didn't respond. He reached out to touch her. This was wrong, he told himself. He shouldn't even be in here. But why hadn't she woken yet? He gently shook her by the shoulders. She woke up with a gasp.

Their eyes met, and he was caught in a deadlock again. He tried to move away, but the scene somehow seemed too familiar, even the nightgown was the exact same. He was holding her shoulders, looking into those blue eyes.

She also seemed to recall the situation by its similarity to the current one. Then, she obviously forced herself to return to the present. She lightly titled her head, and smiled.

"Have I overslept, Zelgadis-san?"

He stepped away, and cleared his throat, while closing his eyes.

"Yes you have, princess.. I… I was quite worried…"

"Princess?" She asked, slightly frowning. "Why are you calling me that, Zelgadis-san?"

"Because it's proper speech to somebody you work for…" He said, and added, when she looked questioning at him; "..Your father thought it might be a good idea to position bodyguards with you. Gourry and I volunteered. So if you have no objections-"

He didn't really have a chance to finish that sentence, as the princess flung herself around him. She was still sitting in bed, half covered by the sheets, and hugged him in waist height. His initial reaction was to try to get her off of him. However, somehow he didn't mind. Over the last two years he'd come to miss her affectionate outbursts.

"So, you'll be watching me?" she asked, looking up at him, with what might have been a teasing smile. It had a little different effect though.

Zel freed himself from her embrace and stepped a little away.

"Yes. From now and 'til midday, then Gourry will watch you until dinner, and I'll…. Take the night-watch.."

She smiled. He inwardly sighed with relief. She didn't mind. Good. Not that he thought it would be like her to mistrust him, but she might not have liked the idea of him watching over her, in her sleep. Then he thought how much easier it would have been if she had mistrusted him. But she just didn't seem to own that healthy, natural mistrust most people have.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Somewhere in the outer world, in a little shop, a teakettle whistled. The owner of the "Mace & Vase" gracefully got up from her chair behind the counter and put the "on tea-break"-sign up in the door. She then went to the little adjoining kitchen, long golden hair waving after her with each step, and gently poured the hot water into a pot. She then took out her favourite cup, a light rose coloured one, white on the inside, and sat down at the little table, sighing contently.

She barely had a chance to enjoy the first sip before an only too well-known sound made her head snap towards the door. And it wasn't the doorbell.

"My my, Filia-san. Shouldn't you be on a boat by now?" the shadow appearing by the door said. "Or does dementia set in early in golden dragons?"

She inwardly counted to ten. Then, when that did nothing to calm her down, she tried for twenty. That – that.. namagomi! Just showing up like that. And in her teabreak, too! While she was busy counting, Xellos made his way to the kitchen, drew out a chair for himself, sat down and made himself comfortable. Out from the dark nothingness he pulled a little black and purple teacup and sat it on the table in front of him.

"Or could it be that the self-conceited dragon has decided that she'd rather stay home, not attending the wedding of one of her few friends?" he said, opening his eyes, giving her a daring and teasing glance as he reached for the tea-pot to pour himself a cup.

Her eyes snapped to his, and her hand slapped his away from the teapot. She then sighed, grabbed the pot and poured him a cup, herself. She'd be civilized to the last. That much she'd promised herself.

"I'm flying there, namagomi. No need to take off yet." She said, calmly, putting down the pot and taking her cup in her hand. "But I was for a moment considering not attending…"

She trailed off. Xellos lifted an eyebrow and looked at her with his trademark "Oh?"-expression. He then smiled.

"And why is that, Filia?" he asked in a tone that implied that he knew full-well why she'd considered not showing up.

"Because while I know from Amelia's letters that she's exited about getting married, she doesn't sound happy." The dragoness sighed. "And I guess we all know what would have made her happy. And him too. But it doesn't seem like they managed to realise it before it was too late. So I'd hate to see her being married into a loveless marriage, when love was so close. It makes me so sad.."

The Mazoku let out a slight amused laugh, opening one eye and smiled at her teasingly.

"Now that's so typically the selfish dragon, not wanting to go because it would make her sad." He obviously enjoyed her anger a moment, but before she reached for Mace-sama, he decided to continue. "But for once you and I agree on something, though."

That caught her off-guard. She hadn't expected to agree with the namagomi on anything else than the fact that they never agreed.

"We do?" she said, incredulously.

"Basically. I too oppose to our little princess being married to this prince Orin." He said, and knew that she'd be sceptic anyways, so he might as well offer her his agenda on a silver-platter. "Because these are two very orderly and peaceful nations, that we Mazoku have a hard time getting our claws into in the first place. Imagine how hard it'd be when they unite. It'll be so perfectly white there'll be no shadows at all left for us to live in or work from."

Filia opened her mouth to say something, but as his explanation sank in, her mind settled for letting it hang open in disbelief.

He drank his tea, slowly, enjoying her baffled expression. When he was all out of tea, and she still hadn't regained herself, he put his cup down, and looked at her a little worriedly with a wondering look.

"Well, even that taken into consideration, I think it's still safe to say that my reason is less selfish than yours, Filia-san." He smirked. "At the very least, I was opposing to the wedding on behalf of my peoples well-being. You on the other hand were just selfishly wanting not to become sad." He said the last with a little mocking tone, sorta hoping she'd snap out of it. When she didn't he tried pouring himself another cup, just to see if that caught her attention. When that didn't work either, he put his hand on top of hers.

That, however, seemed to reboot the dragoness brain, and with a scream she grabbed Mace-sama from her garter and swung it at him. He dodged, Mazoku style. The mace dug itself into the wall, just above the teatable, and only a nifty rescue-action from a certain purple haired trickster saved her teapot and favourite cup when the mace finally came out of the wall, and crashed down on the table.

"Ah, welcome back, Filia-san." He smiled and put the teapot back on the table.

She blinked, and released her grip on Mace-sama. Had she just been out? He handed her the pink cup and she took it without words, but with a stern glare. After sitting down, placing the cup, pouring herself another cup of tea, taking the first gulp, she spoke again. Like a roller coaster her mood went from riding high, to falling low, and now it was climbing again.

"So you're going to foil poor Amelia's wedding?" She snarled, briskly. "You- you!! Why would you do such an evil thing!?"

He blinked and looked at her through his creased eyes, wearing his "Oh?"-expression again.

"Mazoku, remember?" he then returned. "But it sort of puts me in a pinch, seeing as how I'm bound to do a good deed either way." He pensively stoked a finger along his chin. "If the marriage happens, you'll be relieved that I didn't manage to spoil it, because for some reason you're such a hypocrite that the sole fact that I oppose to the marriage makes you in favour of it. So the fact that I told you about my feelings towards the marriage will actually have saved you a lot of scruples by attending, doing both you and Amelia a huge favour. And if the marriage is cancelled you'll be relieved that poor Ame-chan doesn't have to marry somebody she doesn't love."

Again she opened her mouth to dispute, but once again she had to leave it standing open. Dammit, he had a point!

"But that aside, I never personally intended to spoil the marriage." He said with a fake sigh and slouched back into the chair.

She shot him a sceptic glance.

"Somehow I don't buy that one, namagomi!" she crossed her arms over her well-endowed chest.

"Well come now, just because **I'm** not trying, doesn't mean that it isn't being tried." he smiled. "Actually, they've all more or less set in the last spurt of attempts. Both some politicians, some rulers over neighbouring countries, some suitors, some Mazoku, and then of course let's not forget the one with the smartest plan, Lina Inverse."

Filia blinked. Lina-san? Why on earth would she… And even if it was logic for her to want the best for her friend, why start now?

"I guess it was to that end she asked me to fetch Zelgadis Greywords." He said, in mock-thought. "And I must applaud her; if I myself had to come up with an idea to foil that marriage, what better actor to throw on stage than the old flame."

She clenched her teeth and fists. Lina was being used again. She'd probably been talked into this stupid plan by this ..this.. namagomi! And even if she wasn't, it was clear that if Xellos was against the marriage, the only right action was to defend it!

"Why are you telling me this, namagomi?!" she growled, picking up Mace-sama from the table.

"That…" he said, and she knew what was coming next, so she swung the mace, only a fraction too late to stop him from continuing "..is a secret!" and disappearing with a sizzle.

The baffled dragon sat behind, wondering what actions to take. Thankfully, Val woke and began screaming, giving her a chance not to think about it.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The day at the Sailrune castle had been pretty uneventful. Zel had walked her to her office and been keeping an eye on her while she was doing her duties. He'd also unwillingly kept an _eye_ on her, noticing just how much she'd grown up. A part of him didn't quite like that. She was supposed to be cheerful, bubbly and happy, and she showed little traces of those traits now. Funny, though, how she returned to being a little bubblier when she talked with him. He must have reminded her of the old days. Yes, that was probably it.

"So, what are you doing today?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation going since it clearly lifted her mood, and first time around totally unaware of the interest that sentence usually implied.

"A little diplomatic paperwork, I guess. I could also start on some of the other pile, but I don't really feel like it." she sighed heavily, resting her elbows on the paper and stared into nothingness. "I guess being a hero of Justice isn't only sometimes dangerous, but also sometimes downright boring."

Bird in a cage, that was the first thought that struck Zelgadis. He never really had taken her for anything else than a privileged, naïve child. But maybe this was why she had been so reluctant to let go of her friends. Her everyday life sure wasn't exciting, unless you count attempts on your life as excitement.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

After an hour's work or so, she let out an almost Lina-like growl of frustration and her hands fisted into her hair.

"How the heck am I supposed to figure out if their over-all tax-collection adds up when I don't have the specifics!?" she whined, effectively making Zel stifle a little chuckle. She shot him a glare. "What?"

"Lina's bad mood rubbing off on you?" he simply asked, voice almost soft. She glared, but then broke out laughing. She couldn't hold that angry façade for long anyways. At least, not towards Zelgadis.

"Let's look at it without the Inverse-attitude, and I'm sure we'll figure it out." He said, gathering the pieces of paper and looking them over. Amelia still just looked at him, but this time around it was more of a surprised stare than a glare. She'd almost forgotten how he liked an intellectual challenge. Then it struck her.

"Shouldn't you be on guard?" She used an almost teasing tone, also to save face. It wouldn't look good if he was able to just figure this one out right after she'd given up.

He looked around the room. Aside from the door, which could be locked, there was only a window that presented a potential assassination threat. He grabbed the desk, and slightly moved it, so that Amelia's back was now turned towards the window. She stared at him puzzled. Wouldn't this just make it easier to attack her? He then moved to stand right behind her, and leaned ever so slightly over her, placing a hand on each side of her, effectively shielding her with his body.

The awkwardness fell upon them like a ton of bricks. She could feel his breath on the crown of her head. Every single move presented a danger of accidentally touching him, and she knew how he hated that. He apparently also felt the tension.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all." He calmly concluded, and started to move away, but the princess' hand grabbed his right arm, and held him in place.

He had taken the initiative on this one, and it was possibly as close as she could be with him, with his consent. Although she wasn't really sure why, she liked having him this close. It made her feel… protected.

"Please…" She didn't exactly know how to phrase this so it wouldn't sound terribly desperate. "I… I feel a lot safer like this. So please, Zelgadis-san. If it's not too uncomfortable for you…" She tried to find some of that Lina-courage she'd accumulated over the years. "Unless of course you're scared of me, Zelgadis-san." She turned her head to look at him, to give him a slightly teasing wink. In stead she stopped dead in her motion, not really having thought of how close their faces would be if she turned around. She swallowed, and just turned back, not lingering to see the wide-eyed chimera blush.

_Afraid?_ Zelgadis mind managed to make a sceptical huff. _If there's anything I'm afraid of in this situation, Amelia, it's not you, but me._ He thought.

He wasn't afraid. At least not the kind of afraid she was referring to. But then again, he had run away from her, avoiding her, avoiding confrontation. But all in all he couldn't really admit that he was afraid of _her_ per se. It was more like he was afraid of what her emotions might do to him.

But all that was behind them now, and he was only guarding her. There was no need to feel the same kind of fright as he had so long ago, because it was over. She was getting married, he was only there to protect her. End of story. So why was he still feeling so damn edgy?

"If you want to scare me, Princess, you'll have to try better than this." He said, finally. "Now, about those taxes…"

They worked together, not saying much, but when they spoke the tone was like in old times, or perhaps even better. When they came down to eat lunch, Zel almost felt sad that his shift was over. But then again, it was also somewhat relieving not to have her around. As much as he enjoyed her company, she still made him edgy. And the two times she'd made a justice speech while trying to fill him in on a diplomatic issue that she was handling, he'd almost snapped and yelled at her.

After lunch Gourry took over, and with him also Lina. Orin was around, and Zel caught a glimpse of him once or twice. Generally Orin was a very handsome man, and he seemed kind and smiling. But Zel had to agree with Amelia, he wouldn't last long in a fight. Not a real fight, where there are no duel-rules, at least. However, at least he seemed like a well-meaning guy. That was something. She could have done worse, he thought.

The only thing that saddened him was the fact that while she was smiling at him, she just wasn't **smiling**. Not really. It was her mild, dignified and beautiful smile, that she put on not to worry anyone. But not her beaming smile. Then again, somewhere, he was glad that this particular smile was reserved for her friends.

Orin seemed to approve of the idea to position bodyguards with Amelia, and was rather satisfied with the fact that one of them was Gourry. However, he would like to meet the second bodyguard. Nobody really felt like letting him in on the fact that it was Zelgadis. They didn't want to upset him, apparently. But he had to know sooner or later. That time became later that evening, when they were about to dine.

Gourry came down with Amelia on one side and his lovely wife on the other. His shift was over, and the food ready. Orin was already sitting at the table, with Phil on his left side, and a chair for Amelia on his right.

He complimented his fiancé, and she sat down beside him.

"Where IS he, already!?" Lina growled under her breath. "Late again!!"

Zelgadis slowly entered the room, trying to look as neutral as possible. Orin's eyes became wide, as he apparently connected the dots.

"Is that the chimera called Ze-"

"ZELGADIS-san!" exclaimed the deep baritone bear-voice that was Phil's. "Come and sit down, my boy, I think Lina-san is starving…"

"Damn right I am, Zel!" she growled.

He sat down on the other side of Amelia. Orin looked confused, and on the border to angry.

"What is he doing here?" he demanded.

Zel tried not to meddle with it. If his friends wanted his honour intact they had to jump to its defence. He had no intention of running from what he'd done, and he could live with the blame.

"He's my other bodyguard." Amelia said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Nonsense.." Orin said, but then it apparently dawned on him that no, this wasn't just an elaborate practical joke. He added: "I won't have it, Amelia-love. I simply won't! I shall have some qualified and trustworthy bodyguards from Zephilia brought here, immediately!"

"Great idea, you could probably need some bodyguards, too!" Gourry said, not really grasping the situation, but then again in some way managing to say just what needed to be said.

Amelia took calmly a sip of her wine.

"Well, Zelgadis-san is more than just qualified, and I trust him with my life!" she said, with determination. "So if you send for a replacement, you'll only be wasting your time, Orin-san."

"You can't just decide that without my approval, Amelia!" Orin objected.

She narrowed her eyes and shot him a glare over the tip of her glass.

"Watch me!"

And with that said, nothing really changed. Even though he repeatedly pleaded her to change her mind about it. Zel couldn't blame him. In fact it reassured him that he didn't trust him. He shouldn't. It's only healthy to be suspicious of people… Well, monsters… _Monsters, like me,_ he thought.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The rest of the evening Amelia spend reading. Zelgadis was constantly alert, and hence didn't feel like dropping his guard by reading himself. Too many windows, too many angles, and of course the fact that there'd been an attack just the night before in the very same room. Amelia was apparently expanding her knowledge about magic. It would be good. Then she wouldn't be so helpless..

Lina and Gourry sat in their usual end of the library, on a safe distance from Zel. Lina tried to calculate in her head how far they'd have to sit from Zel to be out of his ears range. The fact that he was listening actively for enemies of course made it a little easier. So their usual spot by the couch would do. And what she was about to discuss with her husband was not exactly something she'd like her stony friend to hear. She put down her cup of cocoa on the little table.

"This is **perfect**!" she snickered, rubbing her hands in glee, shoulders raised, and looking back over one of them, eyeing Zel and Amelia.

"What is? The couch? Or the fact that we've been allowed to eat in the library since you're pregnant?" Gourry asked, a little confused.

"No you idiot!" she growled, but couldn't find it in herself to get mad at him. After all, if he'd understood, she wouldn't have had the chance to explain her own genius plan to him. To gloat, one of her favourite pastimes.

She took a casual sip of cocoa, and gestured at the couple far behind them.

"This little bodyguard arrangement is **per-**_**fect!**_" she did her best to keep her voice down, but the excitement seeped into it and the last part came out like a strangled squeal. "Zel is **so** going down. He can't avoid it this time around."

The blonde looked to the couple, but couldn't see what exactly Zel was supposed to avoid. And even if there were something, shouldn't he rather deflect it? Otherwise it might accidentally hit Amelia.

"I don't think he'd have to avoid anything, with that thick skin of his, Lina…" the blonde started.

"Oh but that's exactly the point!" Lina chimed, like a little girl. "This time around the attack will be hidden, and he won't see it coming until it's too late, and she's way under his skin by then!"

"Ehm.. Lina?" Gourry asked, while trying to figure out just what the heck she was talking about.

"You see, if love attacks Zel head on, like Amelia did long time ago, he'll just deflect it, because "he's a monster" and he's "undeserving" and crap like that. And he'll see the attack, because it's coming straight at him, giving him time to think before he feels." The redhead snickered, put the cup down and went back to rubbing her hands in glee.

Gourry nodded. Aha, so they were talking emotions here and not battle strategies. Well, that was great! It went from one of his strong topics to another of his strong topics, without even passing through the ever-dangerous land of Sorry-I-wasn't-listening-because-I-don't-understand-this-at-all-and-why-is-this-important-again?

"But this time around.." Lina said with her evil-voice. "..we trick his brain into thinking that he's around Amelia to protect her, thus giving it enough of an excuse for him not to push her away. And that excuse is exactly what he needs. If he serves a purpose, there's nothing wrong with burdening her with his presence. If he's only around her to protect her, then there's nothing wrong in being around her, nothing wrong in opening up to her. And that's when his heart will turn traitor and ambush him!"

Gourry didn't exactly understand. Of course Zel wanted to protect Amelia. It was because he loved her, right? Wasn't it just that simple? Why then all this talk of attack and falling into an ambush?

"So you're saying that being her bodyguard will make him realise his feelings?" Gourry asked.

"More or less." Lina said. "You see, as much as he'd hate to let himself do something foolish like falling in love with her, because he's sure he'd only end up hurting her, he can't protect Amelia if he tries to protect himself from her. You can't be a shield to a person and also have some odd kind of mysophobia towards that person!"

She sighed with self-satisfaction and tried to balance her cup of cocoa on her belly while leaning back.

"Hmm.. I'm not sure this is the right way to do this, Lina…" Gourry said, in his thinking-position, hand on chin, looking upwards with a tilted head. "Zel's pretty bright. Lot more bright than I ever was, and I'm sure he'll figure it out on his own, without any ambushing of a tricked heart or a traitorous brain or whatever."

Lina glared. Oh hell no. The stubborn stone had caused them all so much trouble, it was only fair that he fell, hard! Realising bit by bit wasn't evil enough; he had to full-out fall head over heals for the little princess, fast and hard! Also because of the time pressure with the wedding and all. Nope, realising bit by bit definitely wasn't going to do.

But by the looks of things, it was going well according to her plan. While Zel might be tense because he was alert to any attacks, he was seemingly totally clueless to what the little princess charms did to him. Well, to be fair, so was Amelia. But the tone between the two had softened which was good, and earlier today she'd even heard them joke together. Oh this was going just according to plan, alright, and with any luck, Zel would fall so hard that it'd be difficult to dig the blue bastard out of the ground afterwards.

The dragon-spooker gave a diabolic laugh that caught the attention of all in the library, including said two lovebirds. When she explained herself by mumbling something about missing blowing people up, they had the mind not to ask her any further.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

After her reading Amelia and Zelgadis went to another wing of the castle in ground-level. Even if it was from the inside this time, Zelgadis still recognized the place. He confirmed with the time that it was a little past eight. When they got to the door, Amelia stopped, suddenly realising that she had a chimera tagging along. She turned to face him with as slight blush over her nose. She didn't notice that Zel had a matching one.

"Ehm… I should have thought of this…" she mumbled and looked at the floor. "But this is a bathroom, and.. well.. I was going to take a bath, but maybe I'll wait until Lina takes one. She might be pregnant, but she can still protect me, if it's only for a bath. Besides, who would attack me here?"

Her nervous giggle made it obvious that she knew well enough that an assassin didn't care at all whether you were dressed or not when you were killed. Zel sighed. It was actually a good place to attack, since the window was in ground level.

"But Lina took a bath this morning…" Amelia mused while frowning. "Can't I just…"

Then she apparently had an idea.

"You're hearing is pretty good, isn't it, Zelgadis-san?" she asked, rhetorically. "So, you would be able to hear, if there was any danger, right? If you were in the room, that is."

Zel thought about it. Yes, if she didn't splash too much around, he would be able to hear if anybody was sneaking up on her. Especially if he was sitting near the window. He nodded.

"Right!" Amelia said, taking in a deep breath. "Then we have a solution!"

She darted back to her room, a slightly confused Zel right at her heels, and went to a drawer. She sceptically glanced over a couple of pieces of cloth, choosing carefully. Then she set course back to the bathroom. On the way she asked him to pick up a chair, and bring it. He did so without asking, having a slight idea of what her plan was, and not really knowing how he liked it.

"Right, sit over there!" she pointed at the window. He sat the chair at the designated place and sat down. Then she went to lock the door. Smart. Now there'd be no sneak-attack from that front. But how would she solve the last part?

Just as he thought she drew forward a scarf. First she held it in front of her eyes, checking its transparency. Then, she bent forward, and tied it around his eyes. She waved a hand in front of him.

"See anything?" she asked.

"Not really, no." he answered in a calm voice.

"Good!" she then stepped back, and hesitated. "You're sure you can't see anything?"

"Quite." He replied.

He could hear he drop one piece of clothes, but couldn't identify which. Then again it was probably better not to try to visualise the impression too much. She then obviously hesitated.

"You swear you can't see anything, Zelgadis-san?"

He let out a slightly exasperated sigh.

"Didn't you claim that you trusted me with your life? Is there such a difference between your life and your dignity?" he asked, with a stony eyebrow cocked. When there was no reply he added: "Amelia, why would I peep on you?"

That came out wrong. He knew it the moment he'd said it.

"I'm sorry.. I guess I'm just flattering myself.." she said and tried to make a little chuckle. It couldn't hide the fact that she was a little hurt by his remark.

She then took off the rest of her clothes and ran to hide in the pool. Zelgadis didn't move. He was just sitting there, like a statue, keen ears listening for any trouble.

"Zelgadis-san?" she asked, after a while.

"Hmm?"

She moved about in the water.

"You still had my bracelet…" she started, carefully. "…why?"

"Because I hadn't returned it." he answered, shortly.

"No, why did you hold on to it?" she asked.

Silence.

"Why would I throw it away?" he countered.

"I dunno… Maybe because it was unimportant to you…" she tried.

"It was apparently important to you that I had it, so it was important to me to hold on to it." he offered. He actually thought that was rather nice. For his standards. At least it couldn't hurt her.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

She stood up from the bath and dried herself. _Oh, why did I even bother to blindfold him in the first place? He couldn't care less.._ she thought and sighed. _He's right, why would he look at me? And why would I care? I'm over him… aren't I?_

Her temporal fit of low self-esteem was pushed back by recalling Lina's kind words. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps it was just a matter of attitude and self-esteem that made Amelia think that she wasn't the beauty her friends told her she was. At least she'd like to see if the chimera was totally unaffected by her.

"You can take off the blindfold.." she said.

**xxxxxxxxxxxx**

He should have known. Her voice was a little more daring than usual, and he hadn't heard her put on her clothes. But he'd been occupied by listening to the garden. A guard had passed by, once, but that was it. No sign of Xellos either. So when she asked him to take off the blindfold, he hadn't questioned it. He should have.

The only thing she was wearing was the lavender-coloured towel she'd wrapped around herself. Her perfect skin was covered with little pearls of water, and her hair was framing her head in wet, natural curls. Her shapely legs were only too visible, long and firm, but with a very womanly figure to them. And her shoulders… He saw the scar, and cursed himself to a life in hell. The only thing that marred this perfect beauty was that scar. The one he'd given her

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

She felt her self-confidence grow under his gaze. His admiration was well hidden, but it was there. _He's watching me,_ she thought. _He's actually not only noticing me, but also watching me as he'd watch a woman, not a child!_ She felt a slight blush creep up on her cheeks. Then she saw how his face changed, and tracing his gaze, she realised that it was because of the scar.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Why didn't you heal that one with magic?" he asked. His mind shouted out that he should rather have asked why she wasn't dressed yet.

She looked down at the floor, then touched the scar with a thin, damp hand.

"Because…." She sighed and looked to a side. "Because I knew that it might be the only thing I'd have to remember you by…" she sighed again and turned around.

That was not the answer he had expected. In fact, he wasn't sure what he had expected, but it sure as heck wasn't that.

Without thinking he reached out to touch it. She looked at him, over her shoulder, a look that made him quickly withdraw his hand, even if she hadn't really been looking angry or at all like she minded him reaching out for her.

"It doesn't hurt, anymore." She whispered.

It was so typical. Something to remember him by. A scar, from a rather nasty wound. Something that hurt. Or had done so for a long time. Well, he had to compliment her, if he'd have to choose something that would represent him, he'd probably also have to admit that a scar was ideal. He looked out the window. Or at least pretended to, but actually he was looking at nothing at all.

"It wouldn't have done so in the first place if you'd healed it with magic immediately." his voice droned, a little blaming.

"But… I wanted it to.." she sighed. "Because I'd hurt you.."

His eyes snapped back to her face and he gave her a puzzled glare.

"I must have, somehow.." she mused, to herself this time, now looking at the wall in front of her. She walked over to her clothes, put on a bluish kimono, and fastened it, before removing the towel underneath it. She then thoughtfully gathered her clothes in her hands. "Like Lina-san said.. You wouldn't have done it for no reason!"

He was struck dumb. So she thought she'd hurt him in some way? And that he'd taken revenge on her that night? She sure had misunderstood the situation. Heck, she'd even misunderstood the situation he had tried to fake!

"But whatever I'd done you must have forgiven me." She smiled at him, a little sweet smile, unlocked the door, "Why else would you return?" and went out.

Zelgadis followed her, trying hard to think of what to say.

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

Nothing intelligent popped up before they reached her room. She went behind her dressing screen, and slipped into her nightgown. Zelgadis waited by the door.

"Do you want me to wait outside, like last time we guarded you?" he asked, referring to the time where Phil was thought dead.

"No…" She said, coming out from behind the dressing screen, clad in her nightgown. She blushed a little. "I'd like you to stay with me tonight.."

His eyes widened a little, and as she saw that, her cheeks flushed a tad more.

"Wait, that didn't come out right…" she waved her hands in front of her. "I'd just like you to be there.. y'know.. To watch me.."

His cheeks grew a little more purple, as he tried to suppress the mental image. Trying not to lose face, he smirked and crossed his arms, leaning back a little and looking at her sceptically. The teasing kind of sceptical, that was.

"No! Over me. To watch over me, was what I meant!" she frantically corrected while waving her hands defensively in front of her again. Then she gave up and laughed. "I can't save that one, can I?"

He shook his head, still smiling wryly. Growing a little bolder, he took a step towards her, slowly.

"So, young princess…" he said in a low voice. "..You would like me to watch you, huh?" he teased, and felt the pressure of this awkward situation being placed solely on her.

She narrowed her eyes. He was playing her the fool. Well, they'd soon see about that.

"That depends.." she started and turned her back to him, walked towards her bed, put a hand on her hip, and twisted herself towards him, and shot him a flirtatious glance over her bare shoulder. "If you would like to watch me… Zel-ga-dis-san.." She winked at him.

That look sent chills down his spine. Surely it was just payback, but, man, was she good at that. He had to really strain himself to regain his cool composure.

How to reply on that one? He didn't want to offend her again. However he didn't want to give her the wrong impression either, or to overstep himself. The silence was kinda becoming awkward.

The door opened, and Lina's face peeped in. Amelia quickly scrambled to her bed with an un-dignifying squeak, and quickly covered herself with the sheets. Zelgadis sighed. It only made the situation look way more suspicious than it actually was.

"Oh… Sorry.. Didn't interrupt anything, did I?" she teased.

"No!" they replied, simultaneously.

"Riiight…" she snickered. "Well, just wanted to say goodnight.. and ask if you happened to have the key to the pantry? Some idiot locked it up, for no obvious reason!"

Amelia shook her head, and tried to hide her red cheeks.

"Okay then, I'll just pick the lock… with a fireball or sum'thing! G'night!" she shot a wry smile to Zel and closed the door. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" she said from the other side of the door.

_Stupid Lina_, Zelgadis thought, finding himself a chair to sit watch on. Amelia scuffled around in her bed, trying to find a comfortable position.

"Good night, Zelgadis-san…" She said in a thin voice.

"…night.. Princess." He replied.

**xxxxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxx**

**AN:** Oh the OOC-ness. But then again, if this couple doesn't move a little out of their normal personality range, then nothing will happen between them. Either one of them has to take the initiative, or they'll have to move towards each other. I guess I'm trying to pull off the latter. ;) Just ignore the fic if you think it failed miserably.

Now, as for replying on the wonderful reviews I've received.

_DianaMe:_ I'm glad you liked it and I hope you enjoyed the update too.

_Raywing:_ Also pleased that you like it so far. And yes, it is always nice to meet a fellow AZ-shipper.

_Ichiban Victory:_ As I replied, university is only so important. ;) Get back to writing. :P And yes, I'm afraid it's already too late to turn back now. I have sold my soul to fanfiction.

_Kitsuneofthedarknessflame_: Updated. ;) And I hope you still think so highly of it.

_DQBunny:_ Glad you think it's realistic so far. It's a bit jumpy in this chapter, I'm afraid. But then, that's the price I'm paying for not wanting it to drag out. And about the wine and Lina being pregnant… ooups? I'll correct that so that she sips from her glass, not mentioning what's in it. ;) Then it could be anything.

_Earth Star:_ Thanks for your praise. And yes, we'll have to do something about it. :P

_Princess of Imperfect Dreams:_ I am proud to have challenged your laziness. ;) And I do hope you enjoyed this chapter.

_RowenaTheWitch:_ I am so agreeing with both you and Gourry. ;) If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. :D

Once again thanks.


	6. Swallowed by light

_**AN:** Whoa, okay. A little more than a couple of weeks, I dare say. Oh well. At the very least you have a little update here. And I can promise you that the next chapter is right on its' heals (To be fair, I parted this chapter up in two, seeing how the last part wouldn't agree with me, so it's almost finished)._

_**Warning,** to all of you faint of heart. The rating will change from the next chapter, as there'll be some serious lime. I hope that won't bother too many of you. Tell me if that is so and I'll consider making a T-rated only version of this fic._

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Blinded by the shadows - swallowed by the light.**

He'd used most of the night to wonder what had gotten into her tonight. Surely she was just teasing him, and he didn't really mind. This more friendly and teasing atmosphere between them was by far better than the awkward one two years ago. He was just… amazed that she dared to do such a thing. She sure had changed.

He'd tried not to look too much at her while she slept. But once in a while, when she made a barely audible sound, he looked, just to see if everything was all right.

She looked so peaceful and delicate as she lay there. Her hair gently spread over the pillow. Some of it was falling down in front of her face. Without thinking he slowly reached out and gently brushed the hair away from her face.

She sighed, pleased.

He quickly as a lightning withdrew his hand. What the heck had gotten into him?

"My my, Zelgadis.."

The unwelcomed voice made Zel look around the room to pinpoint its owner. He found him, sitting in the window, very relaxed. He gave him a cold glare.

"You…" he snarled.

"Yes me."

"What are you doing here? How dare you.."

"Oh, I'm not daring anything… Yet!" the Mazoku smiled, with an eye open. "I'm merely watching the young princess, as are you."

"I'm protecting her; you're watching her for your own perverted, monstrous pleasure. There's a slight difference in motive!" Zelgadis growled through his gritted teeth.

"Is there now?" Xellos asked and, stroking his cheek with his index finger, looked as if he was genuinely mulling it over. "What if I'm really trying to protect her too? Or what if you're really- "

"Not even remotely funny, Xellos, and I'm not letting you near her!"

"Ah, you say that as if it's something you have any control over, or even influence on, Zel-kun." Xellos said, his tone maliciously sweet. "But the fact of the matter is that even _if_ **you** could stop **me **for now, I, or anybody else for that matter, would only have to wait a while, and the little princess will be defenceless yet again, while you on the other hand probably will be out there, searching for your cure."

Zel's eyes narrowed, and Xellos shot him a victorious look.

"Am I wrong, Zel-kun?" he asked, sweetly. "I mean, this is how it always goes. You pretend you care, and you perhaps convince yourself that you love your friends, but when it all boils down to it, you leave them to fend for themselves, not even thinking twice. For that cold-heartedness alone you'd make a great Mazoku."

Zel fisted his hands, and began feeling himself shake. With anger, probably, but the bastard's words really stung. He told himself it wasn't true. He didn't… He hadn't. Had he?

"And yet, you come prancing back, acting like the little princess safety and happiness is your business, while we all know that you'll only leave her again." Xellos smiled. "Sometimes I swear you're even more hypocritical than the little Goldie."

"I only left her to protect her from monsters like me." Zel muttered, trying not to let the Mazoku get to him, but in fact doing just that.

"Monsters like you, Zel?" Xellos said, raising both eyebrows, acting surprised. He then chuckled, mirthlessly. "Why, don't flatter yourself, Zelgadis Greywords, you're nowhere near a true monster. In fact, the only real damage you ever done to your friends were to hurt them with your selfishness, your self hatred, self pity and your obsession with your cure."

Xellos got up from the windowsill, and walked to the edge of the giant bed, standing on the opposite side of Zelgadis. Zel started getting a Rah Tilt ready. It wouldn't do much harm to Xellos, granted, but it would buy him a little time to save Amelia, should the bastard Mazoku start attacking.

"See? There we go again with the hypocrisy." Xellos gestured towards the chimera. "You act like you care, when in fact you couldn't care less. I'll bet you'd even hand over the princess if I promised you your cure in return. What do you say?"

"Not a chance!" Zel growled.

"Ah, you're only saying that because you're not believing me." Xellos dismissed with a wave of a hand, and casually sat down on the edge of the bed. "But we both know that if you really believed I had your cure, you'd happily hand over this little fragile flower to me.."

Xellos reached out and stroke Amelia's cheek with a gloved hand and a sardonic smile aimed at the chimera.

"Stop it!" Zel raised his voice. This time the damn Mazoku would pay.

Amelia raised her sleepy head a few inches from the pillow. Xellos phased out.

"mmelgaisss?" she mumbled, and tried to open her eyes. "..w…is it?"

"Nothing.." he hissed, and then realised that his tone might have alarmed her. He then walked over to the side of the bed, and tried to sound a little more comforting. "..Nothing at all.."

"oh.. then it must've been my nightmare.." She yawned a little disoriented and sat up in bed.

"Nightmares?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed. The little princess had nightmares. Well, it was better to direct her attention to that subject than to leave the subject of what had just transpired open.

She seemed to be woken a little more up by uncharacteristically sudden his interest. She smiled and tilted her head.

"Sure, just like those you have, and everybody else." She smiled. "Even the defenders of justice are haunted by fears and past experience!"

He huffed. He hadn't meant to sound scornful, but he managed to do so automatically.

"I doubt they're like my nightmares.." he stated under his breath. He'd meant that both by theme and by severity, plus the frequency by which he had them.

She looked at him, with a questioning stare.

"Why not?" she asked.

He sighed. He thought he'd told her that before. Or maybe he hadn't?

"I have nightmares. About being turned into a chimera. About Rezo… I often wake up screaming, soaked in sweat, and very scared. Only to find that I'm living in the nightmare. I'm still me. Nothing seems to change that. I'm still a monster."

Amelia frowned and tried to catch his gaze. But he was momentarily lost in his own depressed thoughts. She needed to drag him out of those. But talking about something cheery would only depress him further. She realised that she had to make him see, that he wasn't the only one with horrible nightmares, and that he couldn't claim to be a monster on that fact alone.

"I have nightmares about the murder of my mother and the disappearance of my sister." She sighed and smiled, although she was very aware of the fact that she was forcing the smile.

That seemed to catch his attention. He looked at her, as if sceptical.

"I often start crying when I wake up." she said, looking empty in front of her, not really focusing on anything. "But then I have to tell myself that it wasn't my fault that it happened, and that it cannot be changed. So, I'm trying to get the best out of having lost them both, namely growing strong.."

Her eyes filled with water, and she tried very hard not to show. She decided to close them and smile at Zelgadis instead of trying to fight the tears off.

"So there. I have bad dreams too. Does that make me a monster?" she tilted her head.

Since he couldn't quite retort on that one, he apparently decided not to at all. An awkward silence followed.

"But it is kinda funny that you have nightmares about being turned into a chimera, even now.." Amelia mused, almost as if to fill out the awkward silence. Zelgadis looked at her as if she was stupid.

"Amelia..." he began, trying to explain for the n'th time that it wasn't all that much fun being turned into a freak. She cut him short.

"I mean, think of all the times you were able to save people because of that? Of course, I know it isn't what you want, and it's okay to be selfish, I guess." She said, probably to comfort him. But instead, at her mentioning of the word "selfish" he winched.

He didn't think of himself as exactly selfish... Coldhearted, perhaps, but not downright selfish. At least not the kind of selfish Xellos had pointed out. Right? It wasn't like he was only getting his body back for his own sake. But then a gnawing thought of whom he then was trying to regain his original form for crept into his brain, and he decided not to venture further on that.

Okay, maybe it was only for his sake.

Amelia saw his reaction and wondered what she'd said to make him shut off like that.

"I also have some nightmares that seems a little strange for most people.." Amelia said, trying to get him to open up. "For instance the one where I'm surrounded by blinding lights..."

This caught his attention. As a white mage it wasn't an unusual association, he guessed, but he'd never before heard people refer to it as a nightmare. Other white mages had talked about the same kind of vision, but none of them had spoken of them with any kind of fright or fear in mind. He looked at her quizzically. She bit her lower lip, as if trying to figure out how to explain it. Instead she conjured a light-spell in her hand. She then moved the brilliantly shining orb close to her face and looked at him, with serious eyes.

"Look at me, Zelgadis-san." She said, even though he was already doing so. "And tell me what you see."

"I can hardly see anything, Amelia." He said, honestly. Her face was almost totally swallowed by the light, and he could only really make out some of her hair and her blue eyes.

"Exactly. And that's why it scares me." Amelia said. "I used to be so fond of light, but now I realise that if I have too much of it, it'll swallow a person's face, just like total darkness would. It robs away the colours and steals away the shadows that make up a person's face. Just like some are defined by their flaws rather than their good personality traits. It's what makes them a person. The shadows in the face define the features, the shadows in the soul defines that soul..."

She trailed off. Zelgadis was somewhat taken aback by her thinking. So she'd figured out the principle of the need for balance, all by herself? He was rather impressed. Then again, she had to. You could tell Amelia and Phil that the world needed some darkness again and again and it wouldn't register. They'd have to come there by themselves. And apparently Amelia had.

"I guess that's what I so genuinely dislike about Prince Orin. He's got no shadows." She mused to herself, almost as if putting it into words for the first time.

A little silence ensued. Zel didn't really like her talk about Orin that way. If she didn't like him, there was hardly any point in marrying him, now was there? But then he had to remind himself that he was supporting the marriage out of principle, and that it would be better for her. Also, he didn't want to explore how he really felt about knowing that Amelia didn't like Orin much. It was much too tempting to just rejoice in the fact. Instead he desperately tried to come up with something to break the silence.

"If you like people for their flaws I guess that would explain why you like Lina and Gourry so much." Zelgadis said with a smile, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "And you must find me extremely interesting." His tone became a little sarcastic, but in the self-insightful kind of way.

She cancelled the light-spell and looked at him with a smile.

"I do, Zelgadis-san." She simply said.

Own goal. He tried to kick the ball away, and apparently managed to score an own goal. Just smashing.

Again he was caught in one of those situations where he had to think carefully. It was much too tempting to ask how she felt, or to tell her that she'd best forget about him, but then again that would be assuming that she actually still liked him in that way, which he doubted pretty deeply. So perhaps she was capable of finding him extremely interesting in a non-romantic kind of way? He had this bad feeling that he didn't want to think about that too much either, mainly because it called into question if Amelia ever found him anything but interesting, as in "you're a funny-looking freak"-interesting.

Amelia for her part didn't feel the tension in the room as being a negative one, and she enjoyed her victory. Silently, and without posing, but she still enjoyed it. She had cornered the chimera, again, and if he wanted to get out of that one, he'd have to give her a clue as to what he felt. She was pretty certain he wouldn't do that, but now at least she felt a little more at peace. He knew that she still found him fascinating, and since that was probably all that would ever amount up to, she was quite happy to get it off her chest.

She then felt sleep reclaim her, and she lay down on the pillow, whispering a silent goodnight to the baffled chimera that sat next to her.

Zel, obviously, didn't get a second of sleep that night. But he didn't even get a second of peace, his thoughts churning around way too much for his liking.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

When the morning came, Amelia almost seemed a little frightened to wake up with somebody in the room. Like she had forgotten overnight that she was being watched. Of course she beamed him a happy smile and a morning hoarse "good morning, Zelgadis-san..".

Yes, she looked like she'd just woken up, which, by all rights, was quite reasonable since it was exactly so, but she still looked stunning. Zel was pretty reluctant to notice that he liked her even with her hair slightly morning-frizzy and her eyes not quite clear. He tried really hard to kill the thought as soon as he was aware of its existence.

They went down for breakfast and, to no one's surprise, Lina and Gourry was already there, eating to their hearts –and stomach's- delight. Zel took a chair next to Amelia. He was glad that the dragon-spooker and her husband had already checked (if not knowingly so) the food for poison. Not that there was much point in trying to poison the food if they were only out to get Amelia, which it seemed like they were. Nobody had touched Phil. Zel glanced at him sideways, and noted that anybody who tried to attack Phil was just cruising for trouble anyways.

After breakfast came the diplomatic duties. As they entered the room, both realised that the table and chair was still positioned with the back exposed to the only window in the room. Either they'd have to move it back, somehow admitting that it had been crossing a border, or they'd have to work like they had the day before.

Amelia took a deep breath, and went and sat on the chair, stating her silent opinion on the matter. Zelgadis, not really knowing how he felt about that statement, just went and silently stood behind her. Since he wasn't helping her yet, he was able to stand on an at least half-decent distance.

After the first couple of minutes, he actually found himself wanting her to ask for his help. Why was that, he wondered. Why was it important that he could help her?

As on cue, Amelia's fingers began drumming on the desk, and she leaned her chin on the palm of her hand with an annoyed hum.

He didn't want to ask, but the smirk crept onto his face regardless, and it would be plain obvious when she turned around to ask him for help, that he'd anticipated it. A little more irritated tapping went by, and eventually she gave up with a frustrated sigh.

"I don't get this!" she whined, and turned to look at him.

Today the space between them wasn't as menacingly small, but he'd apparently leaned in a little, so he was still far too close for a stranger or an acquaintance. Even as a friend this would be very close, and he apparently didn't mind her trespassing on his personal space. Well, to be fair, he was trespassing on hers.

He was smiling, she noticed. He was actually smiling. A little smugly now that she'd asked for his help, but he looked... Happy that he was actually needed.

"Well then, Princess.." he said, slightly leaning in over her, placing a hand on the desk on either side of her. "..Let's see if we can figure this out together."

His smile faded when she didn't turn around immediately. As if frozen by his gaze, she just sat there, turned towards him, with him leaning dangerously close. He could feel his own heartbeat speed up, especially at the sight of her unconsciously licking her lips. He was actively fighting the urge to move one of his hands to her chin, tilt her head up and..

But then she finally broke the spell and turned to the papers. Zel cleared his throat, and tried his hardest to focus on the task at hand, which, he had to remind himself, definitely did not include kissing the engaged princess.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Lina had been up early, and not by choice. She was beginning to think that she and her baby were having their first battle of wills. Well, it would become a fine Inverse-Gabriev. That much was certain.

And after breakfast, she was feeling oddly ill-tempered. Maybe it was the beginning contraction pains, or maybe it was the fact that Prince Orin had returned. Her tolerance for idiots (other than Gourry) and idiocy (again with the exceptions of Gourry) was running dangerously low, and Orin was actively trying to persuade Phil to annul Zelgadis bodyguard-contract with the little princess. He had first tried right after breakfast when he first arrived, then later on the hallways, and dark lords only knew how many times he tried when she wasn't there to listen.

Gourry thankfully was always helpful to remind Orin that Zelgadis was a great swordsman and even a good sorcerer too, so Orin had no reason to disapprove of him. Just like Gourry to totally miss the real issue. While they were all debating Zel's skills as a bodyguard, what they were really debating was whether or not they'd allow her old flame near her. It was basically playing with fire. Lina just hoped nobody important got burned.

As they sat in the library, Phil came in, almost a begging look on his face. Lina caught herself in actually wondering if they'd be able to hide him, should he put his plea into words. Not long after, Orin followed. Lina gritted her teeth. He was at it again.

"Phil-sama, if I may be so bold, I would like to suggest that-" Lina didn't pick up the rest, for she could hear her blood pumping in her ears. Her malicious streak surfaced and her words went out before she had much time to consider them.

"Why don't you challenge Zel to a duel, then?" she bit out.

That got everybody's attention.

"If you have so much doubt in his abilities, then why don't you test them yourself?" she ventured further.

"Oh, great idea, Lina. Then we'll see who's the better protector!" Gourry stated. Lina looked at him with wide eyes. Nope, his face was actually serious.

First she thought that he didn't know the implications of that sentence. That he was oblivious to the fact that he was openly asking Orin to fight with Zel over Amelia to see who was the better, more worthy man.

But then she realised that they were talking in Protector-language now, and she knew that when Gourry was talking like that, he actually meant it like that. For him, protecting somebody, being willing to give their life for that person, that was love. So basically he **was** contesting who loved Amelia the most.

Orin visibly blanched at this. Lina felt a little bad, because she knew that Orin surely couldn't be so blind and foolish that he wouldn't give Zel credit for being both stronger and more experienced in fighting than himself. There was no way he could win this.

Gourry grabbed her hand, sensing her distress, and she remembered all the times the four of them had stood up to even more impossible challenges, putting much more than just their lives on the line, to protect people they loved and cared about. If Orin wasn't willing to do the same for Amelia, then Lina just felt all the more reason for disliking him.

Zel surely wouldn't kill him (she'd only have to remind him that he fought with a dual-edged sword, so the trick with hitting with the blunt end was a no-go), so Orin wasn't really risking his life in any way, if he accepted. He was only risking injury and pain. If he wasn't willing to risk even that, well then.. He didn't love her deeply enough.

Instead of giving an answer, Orin stormed out, leaving a relieved Phil, a disappointed Gourry and an angered Inverse.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the castle, problems were solved under heavy sarcastic and teasing banter.

"I find it quite disturbing that the future ruler of Sailrune couldn't figure this one out." Zelgadis stated as flatly as he could while smirking smugly at the frustrated princess.

"Hey! I could." She said, almost in a childish tone. She got a look from Zelgadis, sceptic with both eyebrows raised. "...eventually.." She added. Another look. "..With some help."

"Aha." His tone was perfectly flat and sarcastic, and he found that he was quite enjoying himself. He decided to take it a little further. "I thought you were smarter than this, Amelia."

She opened her mouth in disbelief of his gall. She had the "you did not just say that"-look on her face when she looked up at him over her shoulder. He simply smiled, smugly. Well, she'd just have to turn that, wouldn't she?

"Maybe I'm not so smart, or maybe I'm smarter than you give me credit for." She stated and straightened herself up, sitting now with a superior and proud attitude.

"Oh, how so, Princess?" the word "princess" came out almost dripping with sarcasm. When he said it like that she didn't really mind the title.

"Well, Zelgadis-_san_, maybe I'm so smart that I just lure you into doing my paperwork." She said with a teasing tone.

"It's a simple task. I'm currently at your service: You could simply order me to do it." He argued.

"Ah, but then I wouldn't have the pleasure of you standing right here, teaching me, talking to me." She said. It was out of her mouth before she realised what she'd said. However, she figured that there was no harm in playing that card. After all, what harm could it do admitting that she liked his company?

Apparently it threw the chimera a little off track, but then again, he'd been in countless of these situations the last couple of days and felt pretty much like an emotional moron to be caught against the wall time and time again like this. He decided that silence wouldn't win a spot in this conversation.

"And you think you'd have to trick me into this, Princess?" he asked softly.

She felt a shiver run down her spine, and the air just became a little heavier to inhale. If she answered on that one, the conversation would turn more serious. She knew that, and as much as she'd like to have that conversation, she was deadly afraid of what the outcome of it might be. So instead, she deflected the subject.

"Can't you stop calling me Princess, Zelgadis-san?" she asked. "It sounds so formal, like you don't really see me as an equal, as a friend."

"Says the girl who held on to calling me Zelgadis-_san_ through almost 6 years." He teased. Although his tone was teasing, it actually sounded like it had bothered him.

"Does that bother you, Zelgadis-san? I do it out of respect." She looked at him, somewhat shocked.

"A little. For the same reasons you stated." He answered, honestly.

"Then I swear by the heavens that I'll stop calling you that right now!" she vowed, her hand fisted, and almost striking a pose.

"I'd like to see you try." Zel remarked dryly.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been calling me, and everybody else, with an honorific. I doubt you can just drop it. It's too ingrown a habit."

"I can too!"

"Prove it." He said, with an almost malicious tone.

"It can't be hard just to call you Zelgadis, Zelgadis-sa-" She blinked. It really was an ingrown habit. "Zelgadis."

"Aha."

"Well, you're not the one to talk. I may have unintentionally held you and everybody else at an arm's length by calling you with the honorific, but when was the last time you ever gave one of your friends a hug!"

He blinked. Where the heck did that come from?

"I hugged you, didn't I? When we met the other day." He said in his defence.

"No, I hugged you. You let me, true. But I don't think you ever hugged anybody!"

_Not true. _he thought._ When Phebrizzo killed you, I hugged you to me. But I guess you're right. _

The silence was apparently all the answer she needed.

"See?"

He scratched the back of his head. Knowing Amelia, fear of physical contact was a lot more grievous offence than social blunders.

"I'll grant you that you might have a point there." He admitted.

She beamed a smile, aimed at nobody in particular. Then after a while, she said:

"Hug me."

He thought he'd heard her wrong, or was imagining things.

"Pardon?"

"Hug me, Zelgadis." She said in a flat, demanding tone.

He looked at her and blinked.

"Oh come off it, for Cephieds sake! It doesn't have to be a long or tight hug. You can even hug me around the chair, if you're that afraid. Just hug me!" she burst out. "If I can stop calling you Zelgadis-san, then you can give your friends a hug!"

There was somewhat of a silence, while he gathered the courage to move his arms from the desk, and circle them around her. Sure, the chair was still between them, and her back was turned to him, but it was a pretty big step for him anyhow.

Her heart sped up, as she felt him slightly tighten his grip, so that he was actually hugging her. It felt nice. And it oddly enough felt a lot nicer than the hugs they'd shared up until this point, which were all initiated by her. She felt his head slouch to rest partly on her shoulder and partly against her head. She let out a slight content sound. It made him instantly tense a little and slacken the hold around her.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" he asked, concerned.

She tried not to laugh, and strangled the chuckle in her throat, somewhat.

"No, Zelgadis-s.. You're not." She brought up an arm, to encircle his upper body behind her, mainly to hug him back a little, but the gesture and the position suddenly became a lot more intimate by this. However, none of them broke free for a couple of glorious moments.

Then Orin opened the door. Needless to say his scowl became a lot deeper when he saw the two, and his eyes narrowed as he said:

"Amelia-dear. You and I need to have a word. In private!"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Lina and Gourry was on their way from the library to the dining hall (better 15 minutes early than one late), when they saw Zel stand outside one of the doors. He was standing stoically, but Lina knew him well enough to know that this was his slightly angry pose. The pose he took when there was nothing he could do about a situation he didn't like.

"What are you doing here?" Lina exclaimed, her eyes slightly wide, as she didn't see Amelia anywhere.

"Prince Orin urgently wanted a word in private with Amelia." Zel droned.

"Why?" Lina simply asked, one eyebrow cocked, and leaning slightly back, crossing her arms over her swelling stomach. It was clear that she already knew the answer.

"I think he came in to tell me to go to hell, but he figured that wasn't bad enough when he saw us together.." the chimera said, and urgently felt the need to add: "and no, Lina, nothing like that. We were just having fun with her paperwork, and he apparently found it unprofessional. So now he wants some real, professional bodyguards to take care of it."

Lina fisted her hands, so that her knuckles turned white. Of course Orin would grab any straw to get an excuse. It's not like she couldn't understand him. She'd be jealous too in his stead. But at least she'd have the courage to fight the sucker who stood in her way instead of stooping to making lousy excuses. The chimera's words brought her out of her line of thought.

"It is like he is so busy trying to protect her from everything that he doesn't even realise who she is, how capable she is or what kind of wonderful and resourceful person she is!" Zel almost gave in to the need to back this statement up with a renouncing gesture.

Lina shot him a look. Zel deciphered it easily.

"Hey. I don't!" Zel said, defending, and looking slightly insulted.

"Oh no?" she ventured further.

"No, I don't. And it is exactly because I know just how resourceful she is that I'm willingly standing out here, while she's in there, probably giving him a piece of her mind." Zel said. At least it was partly true. While he was pretty reluctant to let her face it by herself, he was more than certain she'd be able to do so. They'd walked from her office to a little room, with no windows in the one half. After a while Zelgadis had agreed that he could leave her alone for a little while, as long as they stayed in the safe half.

"I guess that's the difference between you and Orin." Gourry said, probably mostly to himself. When the two others shot incredulous looks at him, he had to elaborate. "Well, it's sorta like when I first met Lina. I just wanted to be a protector, y'know. I didn't know Lina, and I totally misunderstood what she was and underestimated what she could do on her own. But when I got to know her, I still wanted to protect her, mainly on points where she couldn't take care of it herself. So, Orin wants to protect Amelia from everything, because he doesn't know anything about her. But you, Zel, want to protect her from stuff that might really hurt her. I guess that makes you the better protector!"

Lina bit her lip, trying not to smile too much. If the chimera knew of Gourry's connotations with the word protector, he'd know that Gourry had just gone and said what she'd wanted to say to him for years. Wonderful. And even better, the chimera didn't seem to understand. So, to him they were still talking about protecting somebody, and not love. Even bloody better!

"I know, Gourry, but the problem here is that Orin will never get to know her. We got to know her because we've adventured with her. But Orin will only ever see her as a member of the royal family. She's got no way of proving her abilities in other areas than royal paperwork and diplomacy. And believe me, that's not really her strong suit!"

Lina tried not to chuckle. She knew her husband well enough. He had to say something to that one, and she begged it was as sharp as the rest he'd been saying, intentionally or unintentionally, all day.

"Ha! I sorta know that feeling, Zel. I guess you're stuck with protecting her, then!" the blonde burst out, laughing relieved.

Lina felt like she could burst with happy bubbles right there, and kiss her husband. Especially when the usually sharp, but now quite absentminded chimera said: "I guess you're right." and apparently didn't realise the consequences. He was totally oblivious to the fact that the whole conversation, while taking about protection, was really about love.

Orin came out the door, looking like somebody who was split between admitting defeat and running back into the fight. He gave Zel a slight glare before going further down the hall to attend. Zel couldn't blame him. But it annoyed him to no end that the prince didn't fix the problem. In fact, he would have trusted him more with Amelia's safety if he'd ordered Zel killed on the spot, or even better done so himself. Being sceptic of monsters would only do him any good if he acted on it, and he apparently didn't. Zel's hope that this man would keep Amelia safe was hanging in a very thin string.

Amelia on the other hand came out of the room, looking as radiantly angry as ever. She looked like a dog who'd just barked an unwanted cat away. She looked angry, strong and slightly proud. Zelgadis noted that it somehow suited her. She rose up to the challenge apparently.

She looked at Zel, as if asking him if he was ready to head to the dining hall, and then the four of them started walking, silently accepting that things had been set straight.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_**AN:** I know there's a lot of thought and a lot of character and relation-development in this, and that it might not be as exciting or romantic as you'd like, but believe me it's necessary for this story to flow (originally it wasn't there, I more or less wrote this part in to make it seem more plausible)._

_Also sorry for OCCness, although I think it still works. Somehow._

_Review if you like. ;)_


	7. Admissions

**AN:** Okay, short chapter. This is actually only half of the chapter I wanted to post this time around, but I cut the juiciest part from it, so it stops here.

I just wanted to make sure that I get the right impression here. This story would, according to my plans, soon turn a little lime-ish, actively changing the rating to M. But I've only had one person answer to if that was okay, and it seems that there's a wish to keep it T-rated.

I personally fancy a good lemon, but I'll (perhaps) respect if people would rather avoid that.

So, I need your opinion now. ;)

Lime or not?

If there is a general consensus about lime, then updates will come faster, as I don't have to revise the storyflow. ;) However, if it offends you, I'll rewrite the chapter I have, and turn the story on a less lime-ish and perhaps more innocently sweet way.

I guess I should post this at the end too, upping the odds that some of you might read it. ;)

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**Admissions. **

Even though he was off duty after the meal, he didn't feel like relaxing. He knew it would be smart to get some sleep, but when he lay down on the bed, he had this bad feeling that something might happen, and he just couldn't shake it. So, instead, he wandered around the palace.

He kept himself near the three of them, but pretended that it was merely coincidence. Lina, who apparently was especially ill-tempered today got enough of it after an hour or two, and demanded that the chimera joined them. He did so without much arguing, and even managed to get a little private talk with the redhead.

She'd figured he wanted to talk to her, after the little scene before lunch, so she took pity on him and dragged him a little away when they all went out into the palace gardens, sparing him the pain of asking her openly.

"So, what is it?" She asked.

He first gave her a look as if he didn't know what she was talking about.

"Oh come on, Zel, you've been edgy since we saw you today, and you keep looking at me as if there's something I ought to say to you to calm you down." She hissed. Her resources to keep her statements from being too blunt had been reduced a lot during these last couple of days.

"Well, now that you ask.." he started, and Lina rolled her eyes. "I actually wanted to discuss something with you, Lina."

"Spit it out, already." She said, impatiently. This would have to be about either Orin or Amelia. Or both. Otherwise he wouldn't be so careful about his wording. He took his good time, then took a deep breath and said:

"I honestly don't think Orin's worthy." His tone was as flatly honest as she'd ever heard it.

She almost laughed. Almost. Because as funny as it was to see Zel give in to natural feelings in himself, namely jealousy, but attribute them to qualities missing in his opponent, it was still the very same thing 

Orin had done, previously. She reminded herself that it still wasn't okay, just because it was Zel who was doing it. Even if it was uncharacteristically cute.

"And why is that then, Zel?" she asked, crossing her arms.

"He wouldn't be able to protect her sufficiently. Or to be there for her." He said, and apparently hadn't connected the whole thing to anything personally relating to himself.

"Aha." Lina said, not even trying to sound convinced. "And although I might agree with you, Zel, why do you think you feel this?"

"What do you mean?" he sounded confused.

Lina wondered how to break it to him easiest.

"You once wanted to test his skills. Did you want to fight him?" she asked.

"Yes, of course. It's the easiest way to test-" the chimera was cut short.

"And you didn't once think that Gourry could spar with him and tell you what he thought?" Lina asked. "Gourry, who would've been able to get in a friendly spar with him, with no grudges.."

"No. Because I couldn't be sure that-"

"But Gourry is a far better swordsman than you, Zel." She continued. "He would've been able to make an even more accurate assessment."

"But it's not Gourry who wanted to test him, it's me." Zel insisted.

"So, you wanted to fight him, not so much to test him, but to get something out of your system?" Lina persisted.

"No! It's simply a matter of-"

"You never once felt like you really wanted to hurt him, Zel?"

"..." the chimera had a wide eyed and surprised expression on his face. "No, of course not." It didn't sound convincing at all.

"And what would you have felt like if he _had_ been qualified?" she threw in her trump-card.

"I..." The chimera went silent, with a slightly blank look on his face. He quickly regained himself. "He isn't."

"But _if_ he were, Zel. It's so easy to glass it all over with being about her safety when you know that he's not up for the job. But think of what you'd feel if he had been." Lina said, in an almost explaining voice.

"I... I'd feel... Oddly empty, I guess.." Zel mused. "I think I'd feel like I somehow lost... something. Something important." His shoulders slouched and he looked slightly lost.

"Your place by Amelia's side, perhaps?" Lina offered, stepping carefully. If she pushed the chimera too far, he'd reject the idea all together.

"As a friend, you mean." It wasn't a question. It was a demand. He was clearly not fond of the idea. Well, since he'd seen through her attempt of covertness, she figured she might as well try to push him a little.



"Or something else.." Lina suggested. "I know you care about her. She's smart, pretty, witty, funny, a good person and a princess to boot. Heck, I'd think it'd be a little odd if you weren't the least bit in love with her." There. She'd said it. Only, not in a accusing way. Hopefully he'd be able to accept it. He walked around on the spot, looking frustrated as he ran a hand through his wirey hair.

"You know I'm not." He claimed, and turned to face the redhead. "And even if I were, nothing would come of it, especially not now, so if I'm so smart that you give me credit for, I'd kill off the emotions even if they should appear."

_Dark lords, I hope you're not that smart, Zel._ Lina thought, but didn't say it.

"But wouldn't it still be reasonable to think that you're a little relieved by the fact that Orin isn't good enough?" Lina insisted. She needed at least for him to admit it. Otherwise he'd be as bad as the Zephilian prince.

Zel looked at her, with narrowed eyes, and a glare.

"It still doesn't change the facts." He insisted. "He doesn't deserve her. Neither do I. But dammit, yes, I am slightly envious, alright?! Satisfied!?"

Lina was actually proud of him right there and then. He'd never come this far with any of his emotions before, and she was more than just a little relieved that he was breaking up. Hopefully he'd realise that he actually loved Amelia, and hopefully she'd be able to arrange for him to take Orin's place. But she was well aware of the fact that she was working on a very tight schedule. And even thought the chimera had done marvellously process so far, it might not be enough.

She didn't have the time to think that thought to the end before the sound of Gourry's sword deflecting something caught their ears. Zel was gone in an instant, using his chimeric speed to bring him to the princess in an instant. Thankfully Gourry had it covered, and the thrown dagger lay on the ground, soaked in something. Gourry indicated the direction from where the dagger had been thrown, and Zelgadis ran after the culprit, while Gourry covered the girls. A demonspeed-run and a shadowsnap later they'd caught him, but despite the group's menacing attitude (especially Zel), he refused to say anything. He was clearly human, though, and skilled with knives. Most probably he was hired by somebody, but he refused to reveal who. They had to hand him over to the Sailrune authorities, but all doubted they'd get much out of him.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in the library, which had sort of become their hangout. Amelia proudly picked out some books that she'd figured the chimera might be interested in. As he started on one of them he was pleasantly surprised that she was right. Even if they didn't contain his cure, they were exciting and educating reading. Some of them might even provide him with some clues.

Orin came and went. Apparently he had some duties to attend to himself, but he wanted to check up on them in-between these. The last time he popped in on them Amelia had to hold Lina down, lest she'd be one groom short at the wedding.

Dinner was uneventful, but thankfully something had come up so Orin wasn't present. Phil was talking about the upcoming wedding, and who was invited and why they were. Lina noticed that he more than once tried to slide in the remark that Amelia was always free to change her mind, and that this alliance wasn't a matter of life and death, merely convenience. Lina reminded herself that she had to thank the old bear at some point for that, but apparently nobody took him up on it at the table. At least, nobody talked any further about it. Well, at least they all knew, now. Even if it seemed like a certain stone hadn't gotten a word of it.

After the dinner they all went back to the library. Since he was back on guard-duty, Zel didn't feel like continuing his reading. Even though Amelia protested that he'd be more than able to protect her and look through the books, he didn't want to risk it. It would be too much like the ugly mental picture Xellos had painted of him if he let her die while reading for clues to his cure. And fate so loved toying with him.



Amelia then suggested that she could read aloud to him, but that too proved to be a no-go. Too much concentration went into visualising the words, and make sense of it. Plus, her voice somehow seemed to pull his mind away from the content.

"Maybe if you both sat in that sofa over there, and Amelia sat on your lap?" Lina suggested, with a snide tone. "It might not be comfortable but it would be-"

"-ineffective." The chimera concluded. No way he was falling into that trap. Not only would it endanger Amelia's life, but it would also her pride.

"Just throwing ideas around." The sorceress stated defensively.

"Throw them in another direction then." Zel almost hissed.

Amelia was standing between the two, and although she looked a little uncomfortable and flushed, she looked like she was really thinking about it.

"I think we should try it." She stated, almost shyly. For that remark she got a look from Zel, somewhere between puzzled and blaming. She looked up at him, cheeks flushed but her look strong. "Well, it's either that or you can't read at all. Besides it'll be a good exercise in getting rid of your fear of physical contact."

With two so strong wills, now on either side of him, he agreed to at least try it, initially with the idea of dismissing it as fast as possible.

He sat down on the couch, with a blank expression. This was going to be silly. Or embarrassing. Or both. And he had no doubt in his mind that Lina would quite enjoy the show.

Without much fuss about it, Amelia plopped down to sit on his lap. This of course would have been easier if she was wearing her travelling outfit, but she somehow managed to make sure her dress didn't slide up or get ruffled. Zelgadis flinched at the contact, and almost wanted to dart away from there. Too much, too personal, too of-limits on top of that.

"See? It's not so bad." Amelia said, and opened the book, holding it so Zel might be able to read over her shoulder. However, she had to twist herself pretty much for him to see anything.

"The way I see it, Amelia's bein' Zel's shield now." Gourry said, sceptically, as he walked to his wife's side. She glared at him, and dragged him away to the other end of the library, leaving the chimera and the princess to figure out how to sit on their own.

"Maybe, but it's damn sweet, and if we're a little on guard, no harm'll come from it. Besides, you _know_ Zel has good reflexes." She hissed.

Gourry nodded. He knew. He probably knew better than the rest of the group. He'd sparred with Zel.

"Oh, I think he'll be able to save her from an attack, but that's 'cause he's Zel. The way they sit still sucks. If I was an assassin, I'd hit her now. It looks like she's inviting for a strike." Gourry said.

"We'll take care of that, Jellyfishbrains!" Lina hissed.

"Nope, Zel will." Gourry corrected.

Phil walked into the library, to check on the young people. He looked at his daughter, sitting on the chimera's lap, obviously holding a book out for him to read, and then looked at Lina.



"Uhm, Lina-san. Not to be opposing to your strategies, but isn't that a bit... ineffective?" he said in a hushed and concerned voice.

Amelia apparently spotted them and waved. They all waved back. Then she returned her attention to the book and her current chimeric cushion.

"But that's the whole point, Phil. It looks inefficient, but it isn't!" Lina said, and almost believed it herself too.

Gourry however, being a man of action rather than words, thought he might demonstrate his friend's capabilities. He grabbed a letter-opener left on a table, weighted it in his hand a little before hurling it with frightening precision at Amelia's face. Phil and Lina hardly managed to realise what was happening before it was deflected by Zel's arm, which had made its way up in front of her with blinding speed.

Amelia only heard the sound of metal against stone, and as she looked up, she saw her father and Lina-san stand pale as ghosts and look at her. She looked back at Zelgadis, who in turn looked pretty annoyed.

"What was that for?" he asked out, and Gourry simply pointed to the crown prince and his wife. Nobody made any further comments on the position being ineffective after that.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The book had been interesting reading, for sure, but he couldn't really concentrate on it. The close physical contact in itself was distracting, and the fact that it was Amelia somehow made it distracting in a not entirely unpleasant but far more unconstructive way. The way the bottom of her thighs rubbed against the top of his as she shifted around. Still, the tranquillity of sitting there the two of them was somewhat nice, and he did get some reading done too.

Of course the book hadn't contained anything really valuable, like a clue, so when they went from the library to the bathroom, it didn't really bother him that he couldn't remember its content. When they went in and closed the door, Zel realised that they'd forgot the blindfold.

_Don't overthink things. Maybe she'll improvise one._ He figured, and didn't want to bring it up in conversation.

She silently pointed to the chair, and he sat down. As he did so, he leaned back and crossed his arms, waiting for her to blindfold him. He was slightly panicked when she instead started to work on the bodice of her dress, loosening it.

"Uhm.. Amelia?"

"You were right, Zelgadis-sa.. Zelgadis." She said, not looking at him, but definitely determined. She was still loosening her dress, and her cheeks had taken on a slightly rosy colour. "There shouldn't be a difference between my life and my dignity, and if I trust you with the one, I should also trust you with the other." She simply said.

He took that as a "I trust you'll keep your eyes shut"-statement, and quickly did so. He also quickly found out that that was far more difficult than he gave it credit for.

She made her way out of her dress and undergarments, and went into the water with a slight splash.

She sighed contently. Then she tried to make a conversation.

"I have to thank you for your help today, Zelgadis. With the paperwork." She said.



"No problem." He offered. It really hadn't been.

"And don't get the wrong impression of me. I can do this myself." She felt like it needed saying. "I just like getting your help.."

"I'm sure you could, Amelia. You must have, else how would you have managed before you met me." He said. "Or how would you.." he trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. He didn't really want to talk about how she'd manage without him. The thought was somehow instantly depressing.

Amelia let out a nervous laugh.

"I don't know how I'll manage without you, Zelgadis. But really it has little to do with the paperwork." It was a little more affectionate than her usual little outbursts, but could still be taken only as a friendly gesture. She hoped he'd do that. After all, that was how she'd meant it, right? She really wished her mind could make itself up on the matter. Was she or wasn't she over him?

"You've done so before." He said, not wanting to pursue the subject any further. "Besides, you wouldn't want me to stick around for much longer, I recon."

She turned to look at him, leaning her arms against the edge of the pool.

"What makes you say that, Zelgadis?" she asked softly.

He could vividly imagine her look, but apart from that did his best not to imagine anything further.

"I imagine that if I stay much longer, your groom might think less of you or call the whole thing off." He said. He hadn't meant to sound so self-assured or to antagonize Orin, but he'd somehow managed to regardless.

She huffed at small grin.

"I wish he would." She said, almost a little too bashful.

"Surely you don't mean that." Zel said, perhaps leaving a little too much space in his tone for her to confirm that she did in fact mean that.

"Perhaps not..." she sighed, almost with resignation. "But you wouldn't understand. It's not you that's getting married."

He wished he could open his eyes to look at her when she said that. The tone of her voice left little doubt that it was somehow blaming, but it might just be envy that the chimera had no responsibilities to anybody, least of all a kingdom. He almost opened his eyes to search for further cues on that in her face, but kept telling himself what else would wait for his eyes to inspect should he do so.

"You're right. With my luck I probably never will." He said, and instantly wished he hadn't. Of course she'd take that one up.

"Why not, Zelgadis? I mean, maybe, someday, the right girl may come along." She said softly, and he could hear that she was holding back something, possibly teasing.

"Ah, well, the matter of the girl will only become relevant if I ever find my cure." He stated, and wished it would end there. However, on hearing her small, sarcastic giggle he gathered that there was no such luck.

"That didn't seem to stop you with Miwan." And she almost burst out laughing.



Oh yes, she had to bring that one up, didn't she?

"Amelia, as you're more than well aware, nothing came of that, and with good reason! But it wouldn't have anyways." He said, half hoping she'd buy it. Again, Lady Luck seemed to be either wilfully ignoring him, or out on another job tonight.

"But you two seemed sooooo lovey-dovey together!" she teased, her voice a little much on the mockery.

He'd better stop her before he went and said something equally mocking to her. Only when he did that it usually hurt her. So better to avoid the situation altogether.

"I don't recall you taking it so lightly back then." He said, and wondered if it was also an admittance of his knowledge of her fascination of him at the time. Oh well, now it was said.

However, she seemed to pick it up quite well and collected.

"You're right. I didn't." She simply said. "I couldn't. I had the **hugest** puppy love crush on you back then. I was out of my mind with jealousy." she said it as if it was nothing, but truth was that it was the very first time he'd actually heard her put it into so honest words. That she shared love with people, well she was a champion of light and justice, and thus was bound to love everybody. He could pass such remarks off as that. But this.. was different.

She sensed his silence, and it sounded like she shifted in the water, looking at him.

"You knew that, right?" she asked, no detectable nervousness in her tone. It confirmed to him once again that this ship had sailed. If it was ever there in the first place. And he instantly hated himself for feeling slightly sad at the thought.

"Yes, I did." He admitted. He suspected she also knew this, but just like with her admittance, this was the first time he put it in such direct, unambiguous words.

The silence grew heavy. Amelia apparently turned in the water.

"Just out of curiosity..." she started, and he knew it wasn't boding well. "What was it you liked about her?"

Oh yes. Now he was certain that Lady Luck was ignoring him.

He thought about it. If he was going to answer at all, he might as well be honest about it. And honest of course meant first figuring out what it might have been at all. He hadn't looked much at the incident in retrospective. Actually, he'd actively avoided to. It made him feel somewhat humiliated, ashamed and a little disappointed with himself. It was one of his personal failures, and of course he hadn't spent much time thinking it over. But now that he did, he had to grant Amelia that it was extremely insightful.

After a while of thinking, he reached a conclusion he was comfortable with revealing, to her at least.

"I guess what I really liked about her was that she needed me." He said. "My first encounter with her I save her life, what more could a guy ask for?" He said it in an almost ironic tone.

"So, you want to be able to help people." Amelia concluded. "I can relate to that. I also want to help people, be strong for them."

"No, no, no.." Zelgadis unconsciously shook his head as he corrected her. "I don't think I'd like to help all people. In fact, I don't even like people. I just want to be able to be there for one person that genuinely needs me, one I really care for. I'm not like you strong and helpful to everybody. That, I guess, only proves that you'll become a great ruler."



He hoped his flattery would derail the conversation. It was getting much too deep and too personal for his liking, and he started to shift around uncomfortably in the chair.

"So you want to be needed?" She asked, almost as if something was dawning on her.

Lady Luck was not only shining in her absence, but had apparently bribed Bad Luck or his brother No Luck to pay him a visit.

"Isn't it what everybody wants?" he asked, hoping it would get him of this very uncomfortable hook.

"I guess it is..." she started. ".. Or some people at least. But it just struck me as being so typically human, and..." she didn't go any further, but he figured what she was about to say.

"You can say it, Amelia. I'm not human. I sort of figured that out myself by now." He said in a sardonic voice.

She smashed a wet fist against the edge of the pool. The resounding noise was little more than a wet thud.

"No, you are!" she insisted, her voice growing slightly angry. "You're just a human in stone-skin. You've proved that a thousand times. Especially when you got hit by Gaav." She didn't make much fuss out of mentioning the detail that he got critically hit because he'd jumped in to save her, but it sounded like she wanted to.

"Ah, well, I guess that hit at least made it painfully obvious that I'm not stone all through." He said, huffing a slightly sarcastic chuckle, and winced a little at the memory. It had hurt. Tremendously. But if he hadn't jumped in front of Amelia, she'd have been split in two, beyond even the best healers to save. He couldn't have allowed that.

"No, you proved that you were human because you went and risked your life to save somebody else." She said, calmly, and got out of the water. "That's more human than most."

His eyes suddenly seemed like they had a will of their own, and were now battling him. He could feel his entire body betraying his will, wanting desperately to open the eyes and look at her. He heard her footsteps, as she apparently walked closer. He'd heard no towel, so he gathered that she was standing right in front of him, stark naked.

"I never really thanked you for that, did I, Zelgadis?" she asked, her tone oddly wondering and somewhat seductive. "For saving my life like that. For all the times you've saved my life."

He could feel himself split between two distinct thoughts. One was that he could think of one or two ways she could repay him. The other was that he had to tell her to get some clothes on, now. Also, he wondered when he became such a pervert. It wasn't like him at all to go and think such things.

"You really don't have to, either, Amelia." He said instead, managing to follow neither of his impulses.

He could feel the warmth of her, and figured she had to be standing pretty close, all damp, if not downright wet, from the bath. He really tried not to think of what her wet, warm, soft skin might feel like, he really did. But it was futile.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

When the chimera and the princess had left the library, Lina and Gourry still sat there, talking. Well, Lina did the talking, and Gourry mainly listened. After a while a well-known sizzle was heard, and Lina felt the presence of the trickster-priest.



"I knew you'd show up." She said.

"What do you mean, Lina-chan. I've been here countless times these last days." He said, in a sweet tone, like she ought to know it, but of course she didn't have a chance to.

"I bet you have." Lina remarked, refusing to get thrown off-track. "I bet this whole situation is so potent you couldn't help yourself from shaking it a little. But I also bet that you came to see us, here, now, for a reason." She unconsciously grabbed Gourrys hand underneath the table. Not that she actually feared that the trickster might kidnap her husband, but that WOULD be the only thing she could think of, that'd make her go and endanger her child's and her own life for some Mazoku scheme.

"Ah, well, yes." Xellos looked around the library. She was asking him to get right to the point, and he'd apparently hoped for some more fun before dropping it on her. "Filia _might_ show up one of these days." He stated, nonchalantly. "She _might_ try to warn the princess not to call off the arrangement."

"And why _might_ she be doing that?" Lina asked, one eyebrow raised. She'd initially thought that Filia would be against the marriage.

"Well, I guess because I basically told her that it would suit us mazoku fine if the little princess married the part-demon golem, who's in Rezo's glorious line, than this white prince." He chimed, eyes closed and one hand behind his head.

Lina saw red. Why the heck did he have to go and endanger a perfectly good plan like that?!

"And you told her this because...?" she demanded with gritted teeth. Gourry squeezed her hand in a failed attempt to get her to calm down.

"Well, because I _happened_ to visit her, and she _happened_ to bring up the subject, and I _happen_ to like watching her get furious, so..."

Lina silently wished they weren't in the library so she'd at least have the chance to try to hit him with a fireball. This would set back things a little. No, a lot. If the dragoness came in and said that it was all a part of a greater mazoku plot for power, then Zel would leave for sure. And perhaps the wedding would be rushed forward. Why the heck did he tell the dragoness?!

Gourry looked at Xellos with a stern glare. It looked like he'd either grasped the situation, or at the very least understood the vibe coming off of Lina.

"When do you think she'll show up?" Lina implored.

"She could be coming today for all I know." The trickster said, like it was none of his business. Lina's eyes snapped open. Damn, had he told Filia right off the bat?!

"This is not good..." Lina drawled, slouching into a thinking position, one hand (the one that wasn't holding Gourry's) in her hair.

"I could go check on how far she is." Xellos offered. "I could perhaps also... delay her a little."

His slight smirk was what greeted Lina as her eyes snapped back to his face. Aha, so this was what it was all about. She'd long known that the trickster had a thing for the little golden dragon (although she wasn't sure what exactly), but he'd never had some openly acceptable excuse to claim some time alone with her. But he'd told Filia, and she was currently a threat to Lina's scheme.

If he'd laid a hand on her in any other situation, Lina would've been one of the first to seek him out and kick his ass. But now he'd cornered the Dragon-Spooker in a situation where she actually had to give him an order to do just that. It would be her responsibility, more or less. Oh, he'd thought this one out well.



"Alright, when she takes off, delay her. But **don't** harm her, Xellos." She said, in her threatening voice. She didn't tell him not to lay a finger on the dragoness, because she knew that might be asking too much. He looked at her, and her stomach. She gathered what he was thinking. She wouldn't be able to come after him even if she wanted to. It annoyed her. But then again, Xellos might be a real bastard, but he was not really evil. And he certainly wouldn't hurt his favourite pastime.

"I wouldn't dream of it." He said, with a slightly malicious smile and bowed slightly. Before he could phase out, Lina added:

"And before you go.. Zel and Amelia are still down at the baths. I think they need a little startle. You do the honours?"

He nodded with a malicious smile, and phased out. Lina then wondered if she should have told him not to use any big spells to "startle" them.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia stood and looked at Zelgadis. He was obviously fighting to keep his calm. To be fair, it was a pretty unjust predicament she'd put him in. She was just somewhat surprised that he didn't openly ask her to knock it off, and go get herself dressed. She wondered if she'd have the guts to actually thank him in some unconventional way. When she'd said it, she'd hoped she had the guts to go and give him a kiss. At the very least on the cheek. This had seemed a whole lot easier in her head, and now reality was robbing her of her courage.

The fact that he'd been sitting there, on the short end of this, having to keep his eyes closed and all, had given her the confidence to ask a lot of questions and say a lot of stuff that had been annoying her.

But now, as she stood there, she no longer felt in power, or seductive. She felt stupid, and slightly cold. His breath still came out a little laboured, though.

As she turned to walk to her towel and bathrobe, a sound startled her. It apparently startled Zel, too, who jumped forward, grabbing her, pulling her away from the window and rolling to the side. In the chaos she didn't manage to pick up much other than the fact that a burst of flare bits crashed the window and hit anything in its way. She realised in horror that she'd stood there, on the exact spot, just milliseconds ago.

Then she had the time to assess her current situation. She was halfway pinned by the chimera, who was actively halfway shielding her with his body. However, the fact that his eyes were closed, almost painfully so, and that he was slightly shaking made her remember the fact that she was still naked. As she took in their position, she felt her heart speed up. She wondered why this more than the initial shock of being attacked was making her heart pound.

He tried to get up, something that would have been a tremendously lot easier if he'd been able to see. As he silently got off her, she instantly felt that she was missing his presence. It annoyed her. It only supported the growing suspicion she had that she was, in fact, still in love with him.

She was surprised that he'd had the self-control not to open his eyes, even during the attack. She silently admired this trait, and wondered if there was ever a thing that could melt his resolve. She then thought how nice it would be if she could.

He stood and went to the window. Looking out, he now dared to open his eyes.

"Put some clothes on, Amelia." He said in a cold voice. This was the reaction she'd initially expected from him, so it felt pretty odd to hear it now. She went and quickly dried herself off before putting on the bluish kimono bathrobe. She didn't fasten it as tight around her as she should, though, leaving just a hint of cleavage and leg to be seen. Surely nothing he hadn't seen before when she was wearing other outfits. It wasn't like she expected it to get his attention anyway.



When he turned to look at her, she couldn't see any visible sign of approval or disapproval. He gestured out the window.

"That.." he started. "..was no doubt a Mazoku." He said it with such disdain. "The stakes has just been upped. You are apparently now also wanted dead by the dark lords."

This of course did nothing to calm her down. But she'd suspected as much from the get-go. With all their previous business with Mazoku it was no surprise that one or two of them felt like interfering with her wedding. She sighed. She'd just have to steel her will and get through this, as fast and painless as possible. A treacherous stray thought remarked that it was an odd thing to say about the assumed "happiest day of her life".

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**AN:**

I just wanted to make sure that I get the right impression here. This story would, according to my plans, soon turn a little lime-ish, actively changing the rating to M. But I've only had one person answer to if that was okay, and it seems that there's a wish to keep it T-rated.

I personally fancy a good lemon, but I'll (perhaps) respect if people would rather avoid that.

So, I need your opinion now. ;)

**Lime or not?**

If there is a general consensus about lime, then updates will come faster, as I don't have to revise the storyflow. ;) However, if it offends you, I'll rewrite the chapter I have, and turn the story on a less lime-ish and perhaps more innocently sweet way.Øverst på formularen


	8. Too close

**AN: **Alrighty. Anybody here still reading this?

Ehehehe. Ehm, yeah. So this little piece of writing has actually just been lying around for the last three months or so, but I just never got around to fill in the blanks and proofread it before now. I'm hoping for getting away with a "better late than never", and I seriously hope those reading it will still read it.

I've divided this up in two chapters (and hence the promised lemonade will be postponed a little), so rest assured that the next chapter will be up at Friday, latest.

**Too close.**

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

In the outer lands, Filia thanked the neighbour. It had been tough to find somebody who she'd trust with Val for so many days. Initially she was planning on arriving just in the nick of time, to avoid seeing Amelia sad and unhappy, as she was sure she would be underneath her cheery facade. But hearing how the damn Namagomi was plotting, she couldn't just stay and wait for his scheme to come together.

When she walked the cold, moonlit streets back to her shop, she heard a voice, she'd terribly wished for not to hear tonight.

"My, Filia-san. Aren't we out late?" he said, in his usual honeysweet tone.

She didn't turn, just kept on walking. He'd have to try better than that, and she was not in any doubt that he would.

"So, I take it that the irresponsible dragon has finally realised she's not fit to be a mother?" he said, knowing well that it was a low blow.

When she swirled around to look at him, and he realised that her look was more confused than angry, he explained.

"I saw you handing over Val." He remarked, nonchalantly.

She turned and continued towards her shop. He wouldn't get her pissed or led off track so easily. After all, she had a mission. But even if she should fail, she had a backup. She almost smiled at the thought of her precaution. So simple the damn Mazoku would never suspect it!

He phased out and reappeared right in front of her. Too close, she noticed on her own heartbeat. She stopped dead in her tracks, not sure if she could sidestep him, or if she'd have to walk in an arch around him to get out of this situation.

"So what's the rush, Goldie?" his voice was lower than usual, a little darker and a lot more terrifying.

She felt she couldn't move. To handle her fear better, she raised her head, looked him in the eyes and shot her chin forward in a determined gesture.

"I'm going to go home, pack, and go and save Amelia and Sailrune from your schemes!" she stated. She figured he was here to stop her anyways. There was no point in tiptoeing around it. She could only hope he'd find it funny. After all, it wouldn't be the first time he'd switched sides just because the current events looked more entertaining.

The trickster stood, a finger prodding his chin as he tilted his head to the side. His thinking-pose. Then he looked at her again, with the same expression.

"Hmm.. No. No, I don't think so, Filia-san." He said, matter-of-factly.

She took an unconscious step backwards. She looked at him with scepticism and slight disbelief.

"You think you can just order me not to, or you think you can stop me, Xellos?" she asked, reaching for Mace-sama.

As she swung it, he grabbed her wrist, wrung the mace out of her hand, and twirled her around, so that she was caught flush against him with her back towards his chest, his hand still on her arm, catching her in an almost tender embrace.

"Both." He answered in a low voice, that came out just above her ear. She shivered. She hated herself for noticing that it was actually somewhat nice having him this close, his arms wrapped around her.

"I won't let you stop me." She stated, but her voice was thin and her breath ragged.

"And I won't let you go." He answered, his voice but a whisper.

"You don't own me, Namagomi." She said. She'd meant to say it strong, determined and preferably a little angry and snarling. But it came out almost endearing.

"Wrong again, Filia-san. From now on, I do." He said, and just to prove that fact, he transported the both of them off the street.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia woke slowly, her eyes somewhat reluctant to adjust to the morning sunlight spilling in from the window. She looked to the side and saw Zel sit there, stoically, now watching her as she'd begun to stir. She smiled.

Although the bathroom had been trashed by the flare bits, and although it had been really awkward explain just how Zel had saved her to her father, everything had turned out well in the end. Even the bathroom had been taken care of, seeing how some of the palace mages could do a time-reversal spell on the room. And there'd been no sign of any Mazoku the rest of the night.

Of course, Zel had stayed constantly alert, to make sure that nobody unexpectedly phased in and killed the princess. She wondered if he wasn't the least bit tired. But it didn't seem like it. At least he didn't show it.

It was nice waking up like this, she decided. It made her feel safe and at home. Especially when he looked at her and smiled softly, like he did now. He really looked gorgeous when he smiled like that, she mused. It was too bad he couldn't see it. Then again, she understood what bothered him.

Despite the popular belief that Amelia only saw his appearance as a plus, she could in fact also see the downsides. For instance the fact that his skin had a stonish feel to it, even though it was magically stretchable like normal skin, making it durable, but also unintentionally making people hurt themselves if they hit him (for any reason). His tactile sense seemed to be normal, as was obvious through his nimble interaction with, oh let's say, the lock on a certain safe, for instance. However, his sense of pain was dulled (which she could rightfully only see as a plus), as were probably his sense of warmth and cold. Of course this served as a matter of alienation from other humans more than a real, physical hindrance, but it apparently made him feel like he might unintentionally hurt people by, for instance, hugging them.

His wire-hair, on the other hand, she could understand why he disliked. It was usually soft enough, as soft as wire could be, but if he got irritated or agitated, it would become more rigid, with the threat of people stinging themselves on it (and of course the threat of being stuck in a table).

She could see the downsides, but they were mainly just secondary problems to the real issue; his fear of people, or rather hurting people. It was all interconnected, and she silently wished she had all the time in the world to invest into trying to make him realise this. Unfortunately she hadn't

He noticed the change on her face and looked a tad worried. She gave him a fake smile, which he most probably saw through, but accepted anyways. She then got out of bed.

As they met for breakfast, they realised that Orin was there. He reluctantly thanked Zelgadis for saving Amelia, and other than that said very little. It reminded Zel once again why Orin was chosen as her husband. He was nice, and probably would make a good ruler. But that still didn't assure Zel. Then again, he had to remind himself that it might just all be because he was somewhat envious. Not really jealous, right? I mean it wasn't like he'd like a relationship with her. Right?

Orin followed them to the office, much to Zel's displeasure, and kept an eye on them as she worked and he guarded her. Not much fun and teasing today, but there were still some moments where she asked for his help.

He also noticed the fact that she asked him, not Orin, even though Orin might have had some actual education in this area. He really enjoyed that, and he just couldn't figure out why.

After hours of being intentionally or unintentionally ignored, Orin left, and the last hour of work was immensely more fun. Zel tried not to point it out, because she probably already knew that she didn't have much fun with her future husband. There was just nothing there could be done about that, so he figured it was best not to point it out.

Lunch came and with it the watch-change. Amelia managed to get a word with Lina in private, well, as private as it could be with Gourry watching over the both of them.

"-And I know he apologised, but really, he HAD gone and accused Zel of unprofessionalism, and really, NOBODY's more serious with what they do than Zel!" Lina went on. Amelia only nodded. There was not really anything she could say to that. "I mean, I know he's just jealous, but really! This is just plain stupid. I mean, it's not like you're gonna run off with Zel, now is it?"

Amelia noticed how it was actually asked like a real question and not just like a rhetorical one.

"Of course not." Amelia answered, perhaps a little too fast and a little too unfeeling. She then knew she had to add something to that. "It's not even like Zelgadis would want to drag me around."

"I'm not too sure of that." Lina said, seriously. Even though Gourry was pretending not to hear any of it he still nodded at the comment. "He does care about you, y'know."

"But not as anything else than a friend." Amelia said. "Besides, I'm over him."

"Really?" Lina asked with both eyebrows raised, but not really looking surprised, rather sceptic.

Amelia adverted her gaze, and looked at anything non-Inverse in the room. This was a matter she'd really rather not resolve, and least of all now when it was painfully obvious that nothing could be done about it.

"Amelia, think this over while you still can." Lina said, and Amelia feared she might go into details with it. If it was left hanging there she could just pretend that the redhead was talking about something trivial and non-important. Not something that would have consequences lasting for the rest of her life.

To her relief a messenger came in with a vase full of white roses, which effectively stalled the conversation. Amelia felt her heart both fill with kindness and pummel to the ground. She gathered that they were from Orin, and it was his way of expressing how he truly was sorry for his hostility towards Zelgadis, but she was a little unnerved by the fact that she felt nothing else but friendly kindness towards him for the gesture. Like she would thank a friend for being considerate to her.

As she reached out towards the roses, she noticed something was off. Surely Orin always gave her these kind of roses, but he always took care to remove the thorns from them first. These had thorns. Lina noticed her hesitation.

"These are not from Orin." Amelia stated flatly. Lina reached out to grab the card that followed, but Gourry caught her hand. Upon closer inspection it turned out that the thorns had been drenched in poison. But by the time they got around to search for the messenger, he was long gone.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

At dinner nobody felt like telling either Orin or Zelgadis about the poisoned roses. They were too afraid that they might upset either of them, seeing how they both were equally protective of the little princess. Equally protective, perhaps, but in two very different ways.

As they left the table Lina started wondering about that. She particularly considered if Orin even would be any good for Amelia or the kingdom. He would shield her away from everything, in fear that it might harm her. All the way down to the thorns on the roses. But there was just no way that one could shield away a person from reality. Reality hurt, and if it didn't then it wasn't a lasting situation, or not real. She felt the same went with his devotion to the princess.

It, like the roses, was too without thorns. He loved her not only unconditionally, but also seemingly without effort, like it was a conscious decision rather than an actual feeling, like he could love her without her even being there. It was her as an object rather than a person he seemed to adore. He never seemed to take her up on any arguments, actively avoiding conflicts or even the slightest disagreement, and glassing it over with thornless, white roses and sweet words. It had annoyed Amelia in the beginning, she knew, but now she claimed that it wasn't a problem. Most likely, the princess had given up on getting any challenge from him, Lina gathered.

Zel, however, was giving her a lot of challenge, especially right now, the sorceress mused with a slight smile. He could apparently feel that something was being kept from him, and he kept going at her, trying to probe it out of her. She was quite in a corner now.

"But if I tell you, you'll only get upset or mad at me for not telling you."

"So very unlike now where I'm just slightly concerned and a little tad angry?" he asked, in a sarcastic voice. "Just tell me what happened, Amelia. I can't very well protect you if you're not honest with me, dammit!"

Gourry started laughing, indicating that he too knew what she wasn't telling. Zel's glare immediately turned to the swordsman, and then to the sorceress at his side.

"You both know." He said, his eyes narrowing. "What happened? Was it the Mazoku?"

"It was nothing, really. We had it all under control, Zel." Lina sighed. "And we didn't tell you because we knew you'd fuss about it like you're doing right now!"

"I'm not fussing." He almost snapped, turning towards Lina.

"You are too fussing, Zelly!" Lina returned in a teasing voice.

"Lina-san, I don't think that-" Amelia tried, but was overheard.

"I can understand that." Said Gourry, with a soft smile, causing them all to look at him. "If something happened to Lina and nobody would tell me about it, I'd be pretty angry too, even if she did come out of it without a single scratch."

The chimera ran a hand through his hair. He was just about to thank Gourry for his input, but then realised that their two situations were totally different. It wasn't like he cared for Amelia the same way Gourry cared for Lina. He didn't have any right to be this... concerned. With a slightly annoyed scoff, he dismissed the subject, refusing to continue their conversation.

Around eight Amelia and Zel left the two, and went to the baths. The atmosphere between them was a little strained, and the place set of a whole set of awkward associations. Not only had their last visit to the baths involved the total trashing of the entire bathroom, but also some pretty personal talking. And of course there was the entire him shielding her naked form under the attack thing. Neither of them felt like commenting on it.

Zelgadis went and sat at the chair, as Amelia locked the door. Without a word she started to undo the dress. Zel closed his eyes, and decided that today he'd do a better job of not engaging in deep, personal discussion with her. Especially while she was naked.

Amelia jumped into the pool and everything proceeded as it should, in silence.

Of course, after a while, they both felt the need to break the silence. Zel, guessing that her choice of subject would be a lot more personal than his, took the first step.

"So, why the bath every night?" he asked, genuinely curious. "It's not that I don't understand the habit, but you've gone days when we were on adventures without it."

She seemed to think it over, and turned in the water to look at him.

"Well... It's nice for one." She said. "A good hot soak can really ease the tense muscles. But there is of course some kind of cleansing ritual to it too.. Need to be clean in body, soul and mind for the wedding, you know.."

Noticing the somewhat sad tone, Zel thought really hard to find a new and less depressing subject. He should have thought faster. Nothing could have prepared him for what she asked him next.

"Why didn't we become a couple?" She asked, right out of the blue.

Apart from feeling the wind knocked out of him by the question, Zel was a little taken aback by her tone. The question was way too personal to be asked in such a casual way. Well, it only proved to him further that their potential love had died, and now she simply wanted to find out what it died from.

"Amelia, you know that." He said, hoping to end the conversation before it even started. He fought his body into keeping itself calm, but there was no denying that if he could have made a run for it, he would have. However, he'd have to run to the door with his eyes closed, and unlock it under similar conditions. He wasn't even sure where Amelia had put the key after locking it. And then of course, he'd leave her unprotected if he ran. He cursed his situation. There was simply no easy escape from this, and he always found himself particularly vulnerable when there weren't an easy way out.

"Actually, I don't." She said, her voice a little more stubborn than it used to be.

Zel clenched his fist. If he hadn't had this much self-control, he would have banged it against the windowsill and told her to stop asking such personal, painful and non-important questions. He settled for just cursing under his breath.

Okay, he thought to himself. So on what grounds did he dismiss the idea? Like with the "why did you like Miwan"-question the other day, it wasn't really anything he'd thought much about. So he ended up saying the first thing that sprung into his mind.

"I'm a monster, Amelia." He started out, and if he'd had his eyes open, he would've seen her rolling hers. "And I don't think I ever considered it. I just dismissed the whole idea of becoming romantically involved with anybody automatically. I wouldn't put anybody through that. I'm not that cruel."

She huffed.

"But then we're back to Miwan again."

He unclenched his hand in favour of smacking it against his face and dragging it downwards. Oh this was really not going well. What happened to his good plan about not starting any deep and personal conversations with her? He sighed, and tried to figure out, again, why the heck he'd fallen for the "princess" of Femille.

"Miwan was so... weak on her own. I think I felt that I could actually do more good than harm by being there for her." He said, not really liking the honesty, but unable to stop it regardless. "Unlike with you who were doing fine on your own.. Most of the times." He smirked in her general direction, and didn't feel like bringing up some of the situations she hadn't handled that gloriously herself.

"I bet you just didn't find me as attractive!" she huffed, her tone almost childish.

For a second he considered replying "yeah, it could be that." and have the conversation over and done with. But that would be lying and unnecessary cruel. However seeing the pinch she had him in, he was inclined to feel that a little returned cruelty might be in order.

"Amelia, I'm not very fit for a relationship, neither physically or emotionally. I didn't want to burden you or anybody else with that." He said.

"Come on, I'm a big girl. You can tell me you just weren't interested." She insisted. "It's quite okay not to be. Just because I was..."

"But that's just the thing, Amelia. I don't even know if I was." He ran a hand through his wirery hair. "I just never thought about it. I kept myself from thinking about it. Besides, you were only a child at the time. It would've been unfair to hold you up on a child's infatuation, don't you think?"

"I don't think I would have minded." She said, her voice pensive.

"Amelia. At some point you'd grow up, and your feelings with you." he said, his voice cold. "It's not like your feelings have remained the same, now is it?"

She bit her lower lip, not sure if she would laugh or cry with the emotion welling up inside of her. No, he was spot on. Her feelings had changed, but surely not in the direction he thought. She really didn't want to pinpoint what exactly had changed, or what it meant, because she'd decided she was over him. If it wasn't a decision she could follow through with her heart, then the least thing she could do was to stick to it with her mind.

"You're right. My feelings for you would have changed. They did change." She said, her voice low.

"Right." He continued. "And then what would have happened? You would probably have ended up leaving me, anyways."

She turned in the water to look at him, her eyes wide with realisation.

"Is that what you were afraid of, Zelgadis?" she asked, baffled. "To be left? To be abandoned?"

Zel resisted the urge to open his eyes with the sole purpose of glaring at her. It wasn't like that. She made it sound like he'd refused a relationship to protect himself from harm instead of protecting her from it. It wasn't like that. At all! But knowing that he'd backed himself into a corner, he settled for just skipping that part of the conversation. He probably couldn't explain himself out of that statement anyways.

"And more importantly, it wouldn't have lasted. I'm not exactly prince-material." He said, his voice sardonic. "Your father wouldn't have approved." He honestly hoped that this would be the final argument.

But, just as he feared, she also had a retort on that one.

"Actually daddy was pretty fond of the idea. "A strong ally of justice!", and all that, you know." She said, smiling victoriously at him, although he couldn't see it. "Besides, father married a commoner, and nobody ever really complained about that. I'm sure Sailrune would have been thrilled. You've saved the world with Lina-san and Gourry-san and I. And you are after all a descendant of Rezo the Red Priest." Just as the words had left her mouth she could feel the temperature dropping, and instantly wished she hadn't. She looked at Zelgadis, who'd now slouched into an almost brooding pose.

"Don't remind me." He mumbled. Then his head snapped up, turning towards her. "And don't say it like it's something to be proud of, either!"

His hissing tone made her grow a little stubborn. She'd always been told how great a sage the Red Priest had been, and how many people he'd helped. For some reason she felt like she had to defend the man, and this would be a perfect time to get another stone off her chest.

"Well, we only knew him as somebody helping and healing the weak! He was a great man before his cure blinded him!" she initially didn't notice the ironic pun herself, but when Zelgadis huffed a sarcastic laugh, she rephrased. "I mean, it's not like he was an evil man. He just wanted to be able to see, just like everybody else. And in time Shabranigdo got a hold of him, so... You might not see being related to him as a good thing, Zelgadis, but other people do! As long as you don't repeat his mistake and follow down the path of evil in obsessive search of a non-existing cure, of course, I'm sure the people of Sailrune would have been delighted to have you as a prince consort."

Her sarcastic tone wasn't wasted on him. He opened his mouth to return her some sly comment, but found that he had nothing to say, really. Amelia, seeing this and still feeling the chill in the atmosphere, changed the subject.

"Besides, you've shown quite a talent for the paperwork." She teased. Or at least tried to. But even though her tone was carrying a teasing edge, it was also filled with remorse for what never was and never could be.

"As you said before, you can do that yourself." He simply stated, not really sure what to do with this conversation. In truth he had no idea she'd thought so much about it. He convinced himself that she'd done so in hindsight, and that he hadn't walked unknowingly out of something so appealing and well thought out three years ago.

"You're right. I can." She turned in the water again, leaning against the edge, now with her back turned towards him. She didn't say she was resourceful and strong enough to manage on her own. She didn't say that she didn't need him. But somehow her unspoken words filled the room regardless.

A silence stretched painfully between them, and all they could hear was the soft sound of the water, and their breathing.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

In the library Lina was again trying to balance a cup of cocoa on her stomach. Gourry was eating some peanuts that had been brought up to them. All in all they were having a nice and quiet evening, but behind Lina's serene expression, a storm was brewing. A very dangerous storm. A very malicious storm.

"What do you think they're talking about?" she asked.

Gourry looked at her, a confused expression slowly replaced by a smile when he realised who she was talking about.

"You're really worried about them, huh?" he said, his smile turning almost sly. "I'm sure they'll figure it out themselves."

"I'm sure they will.. But not in time!" Lina's eyes narrowed at the cocoa, like it was a dark lord needing to be stared down.

Gourry shook his head.

"If we meddle won't we just risk makin' it worse?"

"How can we make it worse, Gourry?!" she hissed. "Amelia is getting married to somebody else! Come on!" She put the cup down and tried to get up, but it was getting increasingly difficult. She started hissing and cursing as she fell back into the couch, and Gourry politely took the hint, got up and helped her out of the couch.

"I swear this blasted thing becomes lower for each time I sit in it!" she hissed, giving it a death-glare for good measures.

"Could be because you're so heavy." Gourry said, obviously without thinking, and Lina re-directed her death glare to him. When he looked at her his eyes widened, and he started frantically waving his hands in front of him. "No! Sorry, Lina! It wasn't meant like- OW!"

They went to the hallway, Lina still rubbing her hand, and listened. Lina knew that Zel wouldn't be able to hear their footsteps and recognize them if they just stayed at this end of the hallway leading down to the baths.

"I think they need a little startle." She said, voice low, shoulders raised and hands rubbing with glee. She conjured a light-spell between her hands. She then weighted the shining orb in her hand, and wondered if she should make Gourry throw it. But seeing how the hallway slightly slanted down towards the end door, she figured she could do it.

One good thing about light-spells was that when probably cast, they would be sphere-shaped, solid and slightly bouncy, making it possible to cast them into a dark room or a pit, should you need to see what was there. Another good thing was that it looked and sounded a lot like a fireball. Especially if it came at you fast enough, and if you were somewhat distracted. Sure, Zel would figure it out any other day, but right now he'd only a chance to make an impression based on audio-input, and he'd have to make the judgement fast. Most probably he wouldn't be able to hear it before two or three seconds before it would hit the door, and hopefully that'd be enough to send him into panic.

She leaned back, drawing her right hand with the orb behind her, and hurled it towards the door like it was a fireball.

Just before the orb hit the door, they heard a yell and something splash. The light-spell bounced off the door, and dissolved harmlessly. Lina almost burst out laughing, but restrained herself, knowing only too well that it would give her away as the culprit. She dragged Gourry back to the library and made him swear never to tell what they'd just done.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

One problem with reacting on instinct is that you tend to forget important issues. Such as where the edge of the pool was, for instance. And hence, Zel quickly found himself running out of floor and as a result falling into the pool. The shock made him also forget why the heck he had his eyes closed, and he wasn't reminded until later. He fought to get out of the pool, but by the time he reached the door, he realised that this wasn't an attack, and when he opened the door it was only with the intention of glaring and shouting at the either red-haired prankster or purple-haired trickster that was behind this.

Amelia on the other hand tried to calmly assess the situation, without bursting out laughing, dying of embarrassment, or both combined. Zel was in the pool, his eyes were open with a rather shocked and panicked expression and he was fighting to get out of the pool, very fast. Whatever had hit the door had startled him enough to launch forward, but unfortunately he'd misjudged where the edge of the pool were, and had run right into it, in the opposite side from where she was sitting. She looked from the drenched chimera to the door, but nothing seemed to burst it in. He sullenly and grumpily got up, walked over, unlocked and opened it, all the while cursing somebody. Amelia had an idea who, but wasn't sure. At the very least it hadn't been a real attack.

He looked out, with a glare, but obviously the culprit was long gone. He then turned to look at her. Under normal circumstances it would have been a natural reaction; to see if she was okay, and to tell her that they'd been conned. But this was a slightly different situation. And although she covered herself with her hands, he obviously saw enough to make his cheeks go oddly purple. He quickly both looked away and closed his eyes, and just for good measures put a hand over them too.

A hastened apology followed, and he urged her to get out of the bath and put some clothes on. She got up, dried herself quickly and put on her bluish kimono-bathrobe. She then looked at him, and this time couldn't help laughing. He looked so stern and serious, but that was totally ruined by his wet clothes and soaked hair.

"All dressed." She said, between laughs.

He cracked an eye open, glaring at her, but the frown was quickly replaced with a slight smile. He had to give her that it was a pretty silly situation. She picked up the corner of his cape, holding it up, so that the water cascaded down from it.

"I hope you have a spare set." She said with a smile, giggling.

He nodded.

"In my room. Mind if we swing by that before you go to bed?" he asked, his tone a little ironic.

She faked a pensive look, cocking her head to a side, and probing her cheek with a finger.

"Hmm... Oh, alright then." She said finally, which earned her a nudge in the side for being cheeky.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia had obviously been to that room before. But it somehow felt a little different being here where it was filled with his stuff. And him too of course. Alone. With him. In his room. With her in her bathrobe and nothing underneath it, and him loosening his buckle to get the belt off. She felt her cheeks begin to burn with the implications that might normally be in a situation like this. She hadn't thought about it. At all. It all just seemed so natural. He was her friend. His clothes needed changing so they'd just gone to his room to change them. Why wouldn't that make a perfectly innocent picture?

She had to force down the little inner voice telling her that it wasn't that innocent because of her thoughts about him. It wasn't like she wanted to stand there, staring mesmerized at the way the beige tunic clung to his nicely shaped torso. And it wasn't like she enjoyed the way her heart jumped all over the place as he began to drag it over his head. Another stray thought remarked that it was somewhat like unwrapping a present in front of some from the court, it had to be done painfully slow so that you didn't appear like a greedy little girl, but you just wanted so badly to know what was inside, and could hardly wait to get the wrapping off the damn thing. This thought, too, was hammered to the ground as soon as she'd thought it.

It wasn't fair of her to think of her friend like that. It's not like he'd ever done anything to make her think it. Or maybe he had. She wasn't quite sure. At times she could've sworn he was interested. But then again, she might have been able to read him like an open book, but the chapter about her was still not available for her viewing pleasure.

Without realising it, she sighed. He turned and looked at her, only now realising that she'd been watching him undress. He'd only gotten his cloak and tunic off, so she didn't feel too guilty for looking. She looked at him with an apologetic smile, which swiftly turned from a little shy to a little sly when she saw his almost amused and offended look.

"What?" she asked, raising her eyebrows, and tried to sound as calm and uncaring as possible. Unfortunately there was still a slight nervous tremble in the voice ruining it.

"Shouldn't you rather be looking somewhere else?" he asked, a stony eyebrow cocked.

"Why?" she asked, flatly, and gathered a breath along with some courage. "I rather like the view, you know."

His eyes widened a little, and he looked rather shocked at her statement. Then it seemed like he recognised the teasing tone of voice, and decided that two could play this game... again.

"Well, Princess.." he started, and wrung some of the water out of his discarded tunic. "I'm not quite sure if I should feel used or flattered." He looked her in the eyes, his amusement visibly shining through.

She gave him a challenging smile and a slightly flirty gaze to go with it.

"What you feel is not up to me to decide." She said, moving closer, a little too much sway in her hips for the action to be unconscious. Her mind made an ironic and sad note that if it had been up to her to decide, their situation would have been much different. "But I can ignore it if it doesn't suit me." She continued. Her mind again felt like making a snide little note, sounding something like _-just like you did to me_.

"Ignoring peoples' feelings?!" he said, his voice full of mock disbelief, as he turned to fully face her. He battled his arms to stay down and not make any gesture that might invite her in for a hug. He wasn't quite sure how he'd react if he came in too close contact with her right now. "How very unjust! Certainly not fitting behaviour for a Hero of Justice."

She grinned, a grin that unfortunately looked too much like a cat on a prowl. He wondered if she knew that herself. He guessed not.

"I don't care."

She was standing much too close, but he just couldn't find the flinch/flee-instinct anywhere inside himself anymore. It was like it'd been put somewhere either out of his reach, or he'd just plain forgotten where it was, and it didn't at all seem important to find it.

"Certainly not fitting behaviour for a Princess of Sailrune!" he continued, and did his best to sound a little preaching and outraged, like one from the court might.

"I don't care." She answered, her voice a little more breathy now, as she took another step closer, and still held his gaze with a challenging and determined one of her own.

"Certainly not fitting behaviour towards your bodyguard. And it's not even a proper way to treat a friend." He said. He'd just tried to sound stern and lecturing for the shear joke of it, and hence it came as surprise when the princess withdrew from him, head bowed down and looking guiltily at the floor, out of the corner of her eyes.

"You're right. I'm sorry." She sighed.

He grabbed her wrist as she went away from him.

"Hey.." he said softly. "If it really bothered me I would say so straight away. You know that." He gave her a slight smile and grabbed for the dry tunic. "Besides, we're closer friends than to be bothered by a little thing like this. We've been in situations far more embarrassing."

His soft chuckle made her snap out of her gloom and look at him with a soft and endearing smile. He was right, way too many times they'd been in situations worse than this. Well, perhaps not romantically worse, but really this was only romantically awkward and not just plain ol' ordinary awkward if you were romantically interested in the other person, like she was. She figured he was right. At least from his perspective.

"I guess you're right." She said, and stepped back towards him, not making any hasty moves that might lead him to let go of her wrist. She liked the trivial contact. A more logic part of her remarked that he was doing marvellous progress on his fear of physical contact. Her more romantic part told it to shut the hell up, and that it really wasn't relevant at the time. The only thing that mattered was that he was almost holding her hand, and on his own initiative, too! The hand he wasn't holding searched for something to hold on to, to keep herself from swaying. When it landed on the back of a chair, she realised that he'd draped a towel over it. She grabbed it, and slowly, while intently watching his face, brought it to his chest, very carefully drying him off. She didn't have to listen for his breath to know that he was holding it, his chest gave it away under her gentle touch.

_What the heck are you doing?_ her mind screamed at her. He'd let her off for staring at him, and now she just had to go and try her luck on crossing another border. She was certain he'd snap back to reality very soon, and that she'd have permanently damaged their relationship. Eventually he started breathing again, a little strained but not saying anything. She kept on drying him off very slowly, as if any sudden movements would make him realise that she was in fact indirectly touching him.

"What are you doing?" she heard him say. Or rather, she made out the words from the air that escaped his mouth, with very little actual voice attached to it.

She felt like just dropping the towel and run, or pretend that it'd just been an accident, but knew she couldn't just pass it off like that.

"Drying you off." She offered.

A moment of silence passed, while she moved from working on his left arm to working on his right. She noticed that the hand around her wrist had slid down, so that it now effectively WAS holding her hand.

"Why?" his voice rasped.

"It was my fault you fell into the pool in the first place." She tried, not really sure anybody would buy it. Certainly he wouldn't. "It's the least I can do to repay you."

He took a shaky breath, and caught her eyes in a death-lock.

"You don't have to." He said. His voice wasn't unkind. In fact it was softer than she would have imagined in a situation like that. Like he was offering her not to do it, but not in any way asking her to stop. She herself drew a ragged breath.

"But I want to..." she said. "It's a very simple way of showing my appreciation."

He wouldn't buy that one either, but she prayed that he'd play along like he had thus far.

"It's a very close way." He commented, as if he was trying to make her realise what she was doing. She knew. Or rather, she hadn't the faintest idea of what she was doing, but she knew what it meant. She knew what she wanted it to mean.

"We're very close friends." She returned. "...Aren't we.. Zelgadis?"

The hand of his that wasn't holding hers slowly moved up to rest on the small of her back, the sheer weight of it slowly drawing her in, as if to hug her. He looked intently at her eyes, and she didn't really know what to make of it. A lot of emotions seemed to flitter across those eyes, most of which she couldn't identify. One stayed, though, that she knew what was. It was doubt.

"This is very close. Even for very close friends, Amelia." He said, his voice as stern as he could muster. Again it seemed like he was trying to make her realise what she was doing. She wondered if he really thought she'd be so naïve or unaware of her own actions. Knowing him, he just might.

"I don't care." She whispered, taking a step closer, and dropped the towel so that her hand came to rest directly on his chest. He flinched a little at the contact but the moment didn't break. It was fun to pretend, if only for a little while, that she was in a position where it was tolerable not to care. A carefree existence.

It was nice standing there, if only for a very short while. They were so absorbed in the moment that neither of them heard the two male voices outside the door before it opened.

"Are you certain they'd be in _here_, Xellos-san?" Orin asked, just as he opened the door.

Needless to say, hell broke loose after that.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The door was hardly closed behind him before Zel twirled around to look at the Prince of Sailrune.

"With all honesty, Prince Phil, it is neither my wish nor my intention to start anything with your daughter." He stated, his voice a little strained. Why the heck didn't anybody seem to believe him? All they had to do was to look at him and at the same time give him credit for being an at least somewhat decent guy. Nobody with this body would EVER initiate something with somebody they cared for.

"I believe your intentions, my boy." Phil said, and sighed, his voice and face resigning as he sat down. "But that doesn't change the fact that Orin does not. He doesn't know you that well, and he cannot know the righteous heart that beats in your chest, filled with love and justice!"

Zel felt himself looking for an escape. Sadly, there was none, and Phil was standing between him and the door. No way to run from the justice-speeches, he reckoned, so he might as well show himself off as a fighter, and hope that at least Phil would respect him for that.

"Don't take me off the guard-duty. I will trust the task to no other than myself or Gourry." He heard himself say.

"We have many other capable-" Phil started, but was cut off by the look in the chimera's eyes.

"I will keep Amelia safe until the wedding, Prince." He said in a voice so very unlike his own. More determined. Perhaps even more devoted. "And I would prefer if I did so with your consent."

Phil looked at the chimera with an oddly resigning expression.

"You have my consent, my boy." He said. "But I fear that if you do so, there will be no wedding."

The chimera flung up his arms in frustration.

"For the last time, I wasn't-"

"I know." Phil interrupted. "I know, and it is so very un-just to accuse you with no basis, but the situation... I know your intentions, but-"

"-Orin doesn't." Zel finished. "How obvious does it have to be for him to realise that there isn't anything between us?! I am not leaving her unprotected just because of his suspicions!"

"You have to try and understand him, Zelgadis-san." Phil's voice rumbled, an explaining and overbearing tone in it. "My daughter's beautiful heart, beating with love and justice has been given to you, after all."

"It was nothing but a child's infatuation, and with all respect, Prince Phil, I think it is safe to say that she doesn't feel the same anymore." Zel said, looking sternly at the prince. The prince in turn looked almost put off. He then went to his desk, sat down behind it, folded his hands in front of his mighty beard, and looked at Zel intently over the edge of them.

"You're right, my lad." He said, his voice unusual calm and business like. "She doesn't. And I fear that one of these days you might come to understand exactly what that means."

Zel was a little taken aback by the look he got and the comment. He felt slightly insulted. Sure he knew what it was that meant. It meant she wasn't interested in him anymore, and that his chance of having some sort of happy, normal (or as normal as it could be) life with Amelia by his side was ruined. He'd come to terms with that a long time ago. Sure it still hurt, but that was the sacrifice he'd made, for the both of them. She'd be better off without him, and he'd be free to search for his cure. He hadn't made that decision without knowing that he'd lose her "love". Sure, it stung like hell, they could never go back to their carefree life of adventuring together, but that was just life's way of smacking him in the face for being a selfish idiot. He. _Knew._ That! He was just about to tell the prince all this when the mighty bear beat him to it.

"Right. You stay on the guard duty." Phil huffed, straightening himself in the chair. "Send in Orin after you. I'll... try to sort it out with him."

As Zel exited the room, he took in the scene before him. He'd managed to mess things up pretty good this time. Amelia was fidgeting nervously, getting a comforting hug from Lina, and Gourry stood looking out for any attacks from either side of the hallway. Orin stood a good 8 feet from them, a frown marring his features, glaring first at the other three, but as Zel came out, his glare turned to him. He figured it was where it belonged.

Even though this was all nothing but a huge misunderstanding (courtesy one malicious Mazoku), he should have stopped it from getting that far in the first place.

No words were exchanged as the young prince strode past him, but he figured they would have a talk about this. A serious talk. At least Orin wouldn't be so calm when he heard that Zel was still Amelia's bodyguard. Amelia looked nervously from one till the other, before the door closed behind Orin. When Zel realised why she was so nervous, he gave her a reassuring smile. He wouldn't be chased away. She lit up in a bright and relieved smile of her own.

Lina and Gourry too caught on to this relieved atmosphere. The sorceress even had the gall to nudge Amelia with an elbow and ask her slyly:

"So, are you going to willingly share the intimate details, or should I ask Xellos for the gossip?!"

For that comment she got a "Shut up!" from Zel, and a "Lina-san!" from Amelia, and that was the end of that.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**AN: **Alright! I think you've waited more than long enough for this. Hope it was at least somewhat satisfying. I'm a little ambivalent about how this turned out. Initially I wanted it to move faster, but it just wouldn't. There was too many things unsaid, and too many problems unsolved. Solving them, however, made the chapter exceed 30-some pages, so I figured dividing the chapter in two would be acceptable. Updates will very soon follow, as it is almost finished. (Just needs proof-reading).

**Also,** I've heard a rumour that there's a fanart on the way for this fic! (WTF! YAY!), so I'll keep you updated on it so that you don't miss out on any good ZxA art! :3


	9. Not just a child’s infatuation

**AN:** Okay, I have this horrible feeling that I'm going to insult somebody, but then again, I've written this the way I wanted it to go so far, so I'm not about to stop now. Take it or leave it, kids. Oh, and if you're under 18 you really shouldn't be reading this (Yeah right, like that stopped me when I was teenager! sigh). But I have to say it. You're warned.

Oh, and we have **FANART!!** Go check it out! http : / / corax333 (dot) deviantart (dot) com (slash) art (slash) Amilia-and-Zelgadis-92687933

Take out all the spaces and replace the (dots) with real dots and (slashes) with real slashes, and you're home free to some ZxA goodness. :D Lovely! :D

Not just a child's infatuation.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia woke up, and stared at the ceiling. She didn't even turn to look at Zel. Many days had passed like this. Waking up (almost) beside him, doing work together, spending the evenings together. When she first heard about this idea that he should be her bodyguard, she was thrilled. She'd so enjoyed the thought, and even more so the days they'd spend together. But then she'd found out what it entailed. Yesterday's drama had made it painfully clear to her. What she'd been standing in the hallway fearing so much wasn't that her groom might leave her due to the "misunderstanding" of the situation. No, what she'd feared was that her dad might ask Zelgadis to leave.

She was more in love with him now than she had ever been. And on top of that she was used to him. He'd become a part of her everyday life, and she just wasn't sure she could live without that part.

Well, she would just have to, wouldn't she?

The more she was around him the more she was beginning to doubt that she could go through with this, and it pained her. Why wasn't she so strong that she'd be able to set her own feelings aside for the greater good of her people? Then again, her father had implored her to listen to her heart on those matters. Everything else would be unjust.

Her only trouble was that she'd be calling off a perfectly good alliance with no alternative. It wasn't as if the chimera she had her mind set on would just love her out of the blue. His voice called her out of her thoughts.

"Amelia?" he sounded a little worried.

She looked at him and smiled reassuringly. She had been staring at the ceiling like it was an enemy to down-stare, after all, and it must have alarmed him.

"I'm fine." She answered, before he'd asked the question.

They went down for breakfast in silence. A silence that made it clear to the both of them that they were thinking about the temporary nature of their arrangement.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Of all the things she'd somewhere imagined Xellos would do to her if he had the guts to kidnap her, Filia hated to admit that simply being chained to a pillar in a completely dark room, even with a bloody blindfold on, wasn't really among her first 10 favourite possibilities. Of course, she wouldn't want to have anything to do with the bastard, and certainly not on a more intimate level, but she'd somehow imagined that there was something more intense between them. Somewhere in the dark corners of her mind she'd somehow hoped he'd swipe her off her feet, take her somewhere secret and make hot, passionate love to her.

She sighed and shivered. This was just stupid. She secretly made a mental note to get herself a boyfriend. If she was seriously considering the Namagomi as a mate, she really needed to get laid.

She heard him enter the room, but couldn't really pinpoint him. How long had she even been here? It seemed like a long time, but then again, she was just hanging there, only allowed down to eat or go to the bathroom and the likes. She couldn't even burst out of the shackles. Then again, she didn't have to. As long as the Namagomi thought he'd stopped her by holding her here, her backup-plan had time to fall into place.

"So, my little gold..." He was behind her, probably walking around her. "How are you enjoying your imprisonment so far?"

She shivered again. He was walking closer towards her as he spoke, still circling, closing in on her. She gathered some courage. Stalling him, that was essential.

"Actually, I find it rather dull, Xellos." She said, pointedly, taunting, but also honestly.

He laughed, and she could feel the huff of air near her left cheek.

"Really, Filia-san? Dull?" he asked, sweetly. "What were you expecting, then?"

She swallowed, and tried to regain herself. Stalling him. Not letting him get to him. She had to be calm and collected to accomplish that.

"From you, Namagomi, I expected the worst!" she spat, giving the chains a little tug, although not quite as furiously fighting as she would be if she hadn't taken a precaution. Also, she hated to admit, this was somewhat... Exciting.

"And what might that be, Filia-san?" His tone was oddly innocent and suggestive all at the same time.

"Anything from horrible death to rape." She answered, trying to remain unaffected by him, and miserably failing.

He stopped in front of her. A hand shot out to tug some hair behind her ear, and settled on the pillar behind her, using it for leverage.

"Either can be arranged, if you're so disappointed in me not living up to your expectations, Filia-san." He said, now leaning in over her, his warm breath tickling her face. She was silently thankful for the shackles holding her, otherwise her knees might have given out on her. Her breath came out ragged and shallow, and she figured that she might come to a situation where she'd have to offer herself to the damn Namagomi just to keep stalling. All for the greater good, of course. This was a sacrifice, she'd be a martyr, of course. It had nothing to do with the dull ache in her abdomen. He withdrew, to her disappointment, and went back to circling her.

She was tempted to dare him to do his worst, but figured that there was a distinction between being brave and just plain stupid, and that there was no point in intentionally crossing that. Instead she settled for mildly self-assured.

"You wouldn't." She said pointedly, and hoped her face was indeed turned towards his. "I know you wouldn't kill me, and as much as I hate to admit it, I also know that you'd never rape me."

He made a silent "ah" sound, as if he was being found out. She could hear him pacing close by her left side, and she was sure that he was having his sly smile on, with both eyes open, by now.

"You're right, Filia-san." He started, and then his voice dropped dangerously in both volume and tone. "Because rape is non-consensual, and I get this vibe of you that you just might consent, if I were to make a move on you."

Her heart leaped, and she did her best not to let her panic show. How had he figured that out? She'd tried so hard to hide her attraction.

"Oh, is that so?" she managed, but her voice was thin and shaky.

"Yes." He answered, and actually sounded a little puzzled. "And why might you do that? What would drive the prudish little dragon to give herself away to a Mazoku?" he leaned in again. "All in all you've been taking these two and a half days a little too well, my little dragoness." A gloved finger stroked her from the ear to the tip of her chin. She held her breath. "I wonder why you are so calm about it all.."

She found she couldn't breathe. If he knew that she was attracted to him, she'd never hear the end of it. He'd mock her forever, and with their respective lifespan, that was quite long.

"Could it be..." he leaned closer. "That this little dragon..." she could feel her heart ice over. "...was smart enough.. to make a back-up plan?" his tone was maliciously sweet, and it almost came out between gritted teeth.

She breathed again. Safe. Or rather, she was. But the plan? The conflicting emotions in her face gave her away.

"I see.." Xellos' voice was now a mix between his 'business'-voice and something a little more agitated. Of course, she figured, he didn't like to be tricked. He was the trickster after all.

He'd said two and a half days. That should have been sufficiently time for her plan to work. Even if she told him, he'd be unable to prevent it. She found herself smiling despite herself. This would teach him.

"Underestimated me, didn't you, Namagomi!" she almost laughed. "You might have stopped me, but Amelia knows about your scheme now!"

She was sure that he was looking at her with a questioning look painted on that smug face of his right now, as she heard him step back from her.

"You've had no magical contact with her, I've checked that much, goldie." He spat out, as if trying to call her bluff.

"I knew you would. Which is why I went with a plan so simple you wouldn't even bother to think about it." She said, her tone victorious. "I simply send her an express-letter."

The silence fell upon the room like a ton of bricks. Then she could hear him start a furious pace out of the room. She decided to cross the bravery-stupidity line and gloat a little.

"You were right, Namagomi. Simple IS best."

He stopped in his tracks for a short second, then continued. She knew she'd have to pay for this later, but Amelia was safe, and she'd just outtricked the trickster. Whatever came now, well, she'd face that with her chin raised and a smug smile on her pink lips.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia sat in her office when a letter was brought in. Initially they both reacted on the door being unlocked with extreme caution, but were both relieved when it was just messenger with a letter. From Filia no less. Amelia sighed, steeling herself for an apology from the golden dragon, saying she wouldn't attend. She knew Filia would know her well enough to see through her cheery remarks on how she looked forward to the wedding.

Zel checked it for any curses or spells, but found that it was clean. However, when she opened the envelope, there was another envelope inside. The first thing it said was "DO NOT OPEN IF LINA-SAN OR ZELGADIS-SAN IS AROUND!" and underneath that there was a warning that she should read it carefully and think about it.

Zel, seeing the writing on the envelope, turned around, and promised not to read over her shoulder. She was almost about to ask him if she could trust him not to look, but figured that it would just sound too ridiculous, seeing how he obligingly had kept his eyes closed during their bathing sessions. She decided just to open the second envelope.

_Dear Amelia._

_If I haven't reached you before this letter does, then there's reason to believe that something has gone awry, but do not be alarmed, Amelia dearest, I will find my way out of it. If I am not present at your wedding however, there is cause for alarm. But this is not about me, this is about you and your wedding._

_I am informed that you're currently together with Zelgadis again. I know how much you love him still, and I would until recently have urged you to follow your heart. However, I must warn you not to call off the wedding with Prince Orin. This is all a part of a Mazoku scheme, and they've somehow tricked Lina-san into helping them. They fear the strong union of two white kingdoms, and so I must implore you to sacrifice your own interest for the greater good. _

_Kindest regards_

_Yours, Filia._

Amelia quickly folded the letter and looked over her shoulder. No, he hadn't seen. She sighed with relief, and he half turned to eye her.

"Something good?" he asked, thinking the sigh was connected to the letter.

"Well..." she said, thinking hard for a convincing lie. "She said that she's coming, and she might be a little late because she's gotten... tied up in some business, but that I weren't to worry." There, sticking with half of the truth. It was a lot better than straight out lying. She still hadn't gotten the hang of that. Probably never would.

Zel still looked sceptic.

"Why would she send you a letter about that? And why weren't either of me or Lina supposed to read it?" he asked, and she noticed that he really tried not to sound suspicious, only interested. Too bad he failed the noble attempt.

"Because..." she started, then thinking about her comment on Zel. "..It contained a lot of personal stuff. And I think the reason Lina can't be told is because she'd worry, or something..." The last part naturally didn't come out very convincing, seeing how it was a flat out lie, but she hoped Zel would buy the "personal" part of the excuse, as it would double as an excuse for Lina. He knew how she was, and how it was better not to trust her with any personal information, lest you'd be teased or blackmailed.

He nodded, indicating that he took her word for it, and it didn't come up in conversation again the rest of the morning. It did however give her a lot to think about. Another little element had been added to the puzzle, and she all of the sudden understood why Zelgadis had been summoned into all of this. And she was playing right into it. She could feel her Justice-side fighting for control, but she repressed the urge to stand and make a speech about how they would be punished for their evil deeds. Her values had always been love and justice, and now the one was in the way of the other, and she wasn't quite sure how to handle it. Sharing her frustrations with Zelgadis was out of the question, and the letter had told her not to tell Lina. She absentmindedly chewed on her bottom-lip, and figured she'd have to sort it out somehow.

Giving up on getting any further work done, they simply sat and talked until lunch. Zel probably noticed that she was a little absentminded, but if he had, he didn't let her know. She was thankful for that.

After lunch, she sat with Lina and Gourry in the park. Lina could use the fresh air, she said, and Amelia knew it wouldn't be long now. Lina looked like she was ready to burst, even though Amelia knew there should be a couple of weeks left. Of course this influenced her mood.

"You'd best be telling me if there actually _were_ any intimate details about last night that I need to hear about!" she said, complaining. "I'd have to fireball either one of you if I wasn't the first to know!"

"Lina-san! Nothing happened!" Amelia almost whined.

"It's funny, though, 'cause that's not what _I_ heard!" she said, looking at Amelia with a side-glance. "And it's not what I hear it looked like either."

"But that's not..." Amelia started, but gave up. She gathered that Xellos might have ratted on them, and he'd of course tell Lina. "Look, it might have _looked_ bad, but really..."

"You're telling me that there's _nothing_ there, then?"

Amelia's silence spoke for her. When she did get around to speaking, she figured that she just might as well steer the conversation in the direction of the question that'd been bothering her.

"Even if there was something..." she said. ".. And even if Zelgadis was interested... Wouldn't it be better for the people if I-"

"Is this the same Amelia that said that love should conquer every obstacle?" Lina interrupted, with a slightly outraged tone. "Is this the same Amelia who fought for love and justice?"

Amelia shifted on the bench, feeling a little uncomfortable.

"But it would be selfish..." she said.

"You're barking up the wrong tree here, Amelia!" Lina exclaimed, with a little smile. "You're talking to the selfish and irresponsible sorceress that once endangered the entire world for this dumb blonde." She affectionately padded Gourry's arm, and he smiled warmly at her. "So I think it's better to be selfish than to just do what you think everybody else want you to do. You at least know what you want to do: You're just guessing what everybody else is thinking. If you do what you want, at the very least you'll be happy. And if you're happy, really happy, then I guess the people who love you are too."

The swordsman nodded, and added:

"I also think you should follow your heart, Amelia. It's a lot harder to follow one's emotions than one's mind, because they don't speak as loud. I guess that's why I have an easier time hearing my emotions than Lina had hearing hers, because her mind was speaking too loud!"

Lina nudged him, and he smiled at her warmly.

"Anyways." He continued, while looking at the both of them with a warm smile. "It's true that the good protector is willing to sacrifice his life for what he protects. But it's just plain stupid to just throw away life without reason for it. The good protector knows when to sacrifice himself and when not to. If I just wanted to die for Lina then she'd be without a protector. Same goes with a leader and a people, I guess. It doesn't serve your people that you sacrifice your own happiness just for the sake of bein' a martyr or what not."

Amelia, suddenly feeling very small but significantly less troubled, squirmed in her seat under the gazes of two very concerned and loving friends. They were right and she knew it. The people wouldn't gain from her unhappiness. So she'd have to make a decision based on what she genuinely thought was best for herself as well as the people.

She figured she'd have to think it over, and hopefully she'd be able to take a little talk with her father about it too. He, much like Gourry, was much better at just listening to his emotions. Maybe he could help her hear her emotions too.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Having to stay alert all the time was taking its toll. And so Zelgadis used the sparse time between his shifts to get some sleep. Unfortunately, when he was this exhausted, he was very much prone to having nightmares. Feeling weak did that to him.

But these nightmares were different. Not only did Rezo turn him into a monster, but he was also faced with Amelia dying, like she did when that son of a bitch Phebrizzo had toyed with their lives. He held her lifeless body to him, almost crying, feeling the reality dawn on him, as he realised that she was gone. His good, but naïve friend, the one of the group, who he somehow cared more for than the rest. He'd failed to protect her. And, now she was gone. He couldn't stand the thought. It was like he couldn't wrap his mind around the concept. She was too important to him. He just couldn't fail her like this! But she was gone regardless.

That seemed like the first part of the weird dream. The second part was the one worrying him. Amelia was alive, which of course was an undisputable improvement, but there was something wrong. They were in her office, like they'd been so many times before, and she'd asked him a question, turning around as she did so. Time had stopped as they looked into each others' eyes, and then he'd reached out, softly brushing her hair away, and resting his hand on the nape of her neck, slightly tilting her forward. Her hand mimicked his, and brushed his soft, dark purple strands away from his pale skin. Zelgadis, both existing as a part of the dream and an observer, wretched his mind to figure out what was wrong with the picture.

They moved closer together, her forehead slightly ducking, so that his soft lips kissed it instead of hers. She then looked up at him in silent shock, suddenly realising his interest, and took the first step, kissing him directly on the mouth. The whole scene was so sweet, he simply couldn't wrap his mind around why it seemed so off.

Then it struck him. He was human. This was what could have been if he'd found his cure in time. A malicious part of him reminded him that if he'd just found it, then she wouldn't be forced into a loveless marriage. Then he'd be there. To love her, watch over her and protect her.

Then another internal voice pointed out that he was too weak to protect her, if he was human. The whole reason why he'd gotten into this mess was because he was weak, always choosing the easy way out. Asking Rezo for power instead of training, choosing solitude when he was afraid to open up to friends, pushing her away...

The image blurred, and he was once again a chimera, stoneskin and wire hair and all. She didn't look so pleased now. As a matter of fact, she was silently protesting to him kissing her, not openly pushing him away, but withdrawing as he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. It was obvious it hurt her. His hard skin bruised her lips and her forehead was being scratched by his wirehair. And as much as he wanted to tell himself to leave her alone, he simply found he couldn't. The painfilled contorts of her face would forever engrave themselves in his mind, as his hands started roaming. He tried to be gentle and patient, but it was just beyond his capabilities. He tried not to crush her with his weight, and she urged him to continue, in spite of the pain, as he knew she would, meekly yielding to his needs. As he settled himself inside her, she cried out in pain.

Then a blinding light surrounded him, and the vision and his presence in it disappeared as he stood before Orin. It was obvious he was going to fight him, seeing how he'd already drawn the sword.

"Why couldn't you just leave her alone?" he asked, almost lamentably.

Zel reached for his sword, but found it was missing. It didn't matter. He knew he deserved no right to defend himself on this matter.

"I couldn't..." was his weak defence.

"Why?" Orin demanded.

"Because..." he tried his best to figure out why, and while he was thinking his dream representation answered for him. "..Because I love her, and I know she loves me. I couldn't just leave that alone."

He was taken a little aback by this, knowing now full well that this was only a dream. He didn't love Amelia. She sure didn't love him, not any more. Not as anything but a friend anyways.

"You monster! You deluded, selfish monster!" Orin hissed, the deep scowl marring his handsome face. "She was a child when she had a crush on you. She loves everybody. You have no right to desire her in such a way! Do you honestly think it is anything else than left over feelings from a puppy love crush?"

Zel found himself unable to move, or retort for that matter.

"The scenario might just as well be this!"

And then the whole world blurred again. Zel found himself on the palace grounds. He knew something was off, and knew he had to find Amelia before something happened to her.

He found her in a rose-garden, distinctively reminding him of one of the castle's numerous gardens. She was sitting, with her back towards him, on a stone bench. He'd make his way to her, and then everything just turned gruesome.

Like if he was possessed he would throw himself over her, pinning her down against the stone-bench with both arms and legs, trapping her underneath him. She screamed like mad, but he apparently didn't care. He grabbed around her wrists with one hand, leaving the other one free to roam over her upper body. He groped her breasts, enjoying their softness, and squeezing them tight.

He then ripped the front of her dress open, and licked those perfectly full breasts. They got marked, red and bruised under his harsh ministrations. His free hand then slipped up under her dress, all the while she was protesting and struggling. Mumbling a spell under his breath he made the stone of the bench heed his will, and form a cuff-like grip around Amelia's wrists, allowing him to use both hands to ravish her.

He spread her legs widely apart, forcing each on its respective side of the bench, and he crawled onto her, using his knees to keep her thighs apart. She had stopped screaming and started crying, begging for mercy. But the pressure in his groin would rather ignore such a plea than to be ignored. He pressed himself against her, making her winch in pain and cry out loud. He then hovered above her, trying to rearrange the pool of dress so that it wasn't in the way, but quickly got so annoyed with it altogether that he ripped it off in a rage, and threw it aside. Her long, slender, well-shaped legs were now in full view, and her panties slightly revealed. He grabbed around her hips, and lifted her a little from the bench. Then he grabbed the panties where they met at the juncture of her legs, and ripped them open.

The black curls of her womanhood came into view, along with the slightly concealed folds. Not particularly caring if she was in an awkward position or not, he grabbed her hips again, lifted her a little more and placed her hips on top of his, grinding himself against her through the cloth of his pants. She whimpered in pain and cried.

It was all so surreal, yet it seemed so plausible. He tugged down his pants enough to allow him to free his throbbing erection, and positioned himself at her entrance. She screamed as he forcefully, without hesitation snapped his hips forward and plunged into her.

Then he woke up. Gasping for his breath with that last scream still ringing in his ears. Wide eyed and shocked he looked at his hands, but not for the usual reason. It had added to that. He was not only still a monster, but also a monster, which was destined to hurt the one person he cared most about. And in the most betraying and horrible way too.

He tried to make sense of it, sitting in his bed. It was almost time for his shift to start anyways, but… Why would he have sexual fantasies, or what in his freakish mind might pass for one, about Amelia? She was one of the few persons he cared about. Like a friend, or perhaps even like family. Okay, admittedly, perhaps something closer than that. But surely he wasn't that much of a monster that he'd do such a thing to anybody, and certainly not to her. He never even intended to let a woman endure the inevitable pain of making love with him, let alone force one. Why was he even thinking it?

It alarmed him. Granted, the little princess had grown attractive, and very much so. He was neither so blind, nor so proud that he wouldn't give her that. And he couldn't deny the moments where he'd let his guard down, his self-control slip, and almost kissed her. Yes, he was attracted to her. But she was still Amelia. Still his friend, still somewhere the kid he had to protect. And more so now than ever, considering the attempts on her life.

Then he felt the presence of something evil and despicable. It was standing in the corner of his room, leaned against the wall, with a smug smile and narrowed eyes.

"My my, Zel." It said. "It seems like you're finally starting to discover the little princess undeniable appeal. And here I was, starting to doubt your sexuality."

Zelgadis glare snapped to the face of the mazoku. If he'd been more awake and less fatigued by the dream, he'd have tried his luck in killing the bastard.

"If I didn't know you enjoy seeing other people miserable and struggling, I'd ask you why you were here." He kept the tone from being snarling, while finding his shirt.

"In all honesty I was here with intent to intercept something, but it seems like I was too late for that. However, seeing how you're still around, I see that this has taken care of itself." Xellos droned, talking more to himself than the chimera.

Zelgadis looked at him with narrowed eyes for a second, not liking how little of that comment he actually understood. Something was going on, but perhaps the Mazoku was still playing his game on their side. He decided to ignore it for now.

"So, what are you doing in my room then?"

"Well, actually I'm here to ask you if it is wise to let the little princess have any authority over her bodyguard." He said, and tilted his head as if truly wondering.

"Hmm?" Zel asked, still putting on his clothes, trying not to get upset or angry or anything else the damn demon might enjoy.

"Well, it just seems inefficient to me that she's in a position to order her bodyguard off-duty, even if she feels like he could use some time alone with his wife." Xellos said, looking at the door with a wondering shrug. "I know you're on duty in 10 minutes, but those are still 10 minutes where she's totally unprotected…"

Xellos didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before Zel was out the door. He wasn't quite sure what the Mazoku was trying to pull, but if he was telling the truth for once, this was bad. As if on cue, Gourry and Lina walked around the corner. Lina wasn't looking too good, and Gourry was most likely walking her to the healers, so she'd be well enough to eat at the dinner. It seemed like Gourry could handle the situation, but Zelgadis was more alarmed by the fact that Amelia wasn't with them. His paces towards them were quick, on the verge of running.

"Where is she?" he asked in a stern voice, looking directly at Gourry.

"Her room…" Lina said in a pained voice, hunched over and grabbing her stomach.

"She said we should go ahead, so-" Gourry started, but the chimera was already gone.

He ran down the corridor, heart in his throat. Maybe he was overthinking this, but a moment alone was all it would take. The only hope was that if she were indeed attacked, she'd be able to defend herself until he'd reach her.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Amelia had welcomed the break from Gourry and Lina. These last days had been really tough. She'd never thought it'd be so hard to be watched 24/7 but… It just seemed insufferable at some point. When she slept, she was afraid what she might reveal in her sleeptalking, when she was awake, she was afraid she might make any wrong moves or even worse make a bad impression on Lina-san or, Cefied help her, Zelgadis

Having him so near made her forget that she wasn't back in the old days. She'd almost forgotten she were to be married. Having him so near made her feel very strange, actually. It was different from back then. Sure, he made her tingle and edgy and jumpy and warm and fussy and all that. On top of that there was the whole issue about her being used to having him around. But there was something more to it. And of course the very friendly and teasing tone that'd evolved between them wasn't helping her much.

She wanted so desperately to take one of those teasing moments and hold it. Or even better, perhaps let the tease go a little too far.

She sat down on her bed. It was actually quite a nice thought. She tried to imagine what it would be like. First she'd make one of her stupid slip of tongues or just generally a little mistake, she was really good at that when he was around, and he'd tease her with it.

Or even better, last night where he'd fallen into the pool, and the entire incident that followed. What if they hadn't been interrupted?

The tone between them had of course been too honest and not nearly teasing enough, but with a few slight adjustments to reality, it made a pretty good scene.

If she'd been a little more bold and teasing, the hand that eventually came to rest on his chest would have started drawing lazy circles. He would then be in little doubt what her intentions were, but he'd probably have asked regardless. She, in turn, would reply something like she was doing what she'd always wanted to, and stepped a little closer, starting to kiss his collarbone.

Still fantasizing, Amelia's hand almost intuitively crept underneath the hem of her skirt and found its way down her panties. It'd been a while since she'd had the chance to ease her tension. Again she felt frustrated by the constant surveillance, as well as the constant excitement one of her bodyguards provided.

Her mind raced on as her index-finger slipped between her folds and found the bundle of nerves, that so ached for attention. She was already pretty wet, but she had a little time to spare before dinner, and this might be her only chance these days. It'd probably be fast but good.

Her hand's circle motion sped slightly up, as her little fantasy became more intense. Her mind made some convenient adjustments to reality and continuity as her breath became more ragged and the pace wilder. She knew it wasn't very likely he'd let her touch him like that, but her mind allowed it and she enjoyed the images so. She squeezed her eyes shut and bit her lower lip, trying to silence her gasps, pressing herself down into the mattress as she silently cried his name between clenched teeth.

She could feel the orgasm build up in her, and she wanted so much to be released. The pace became even more frantic.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

When Zel turned the corner to the corridor with her room, he heard something.

A muffled cry carrying his name!

_Dammit! I'm too late!!_ he cursed as he launched forward in a jump, effectively bursting in the door to Amelia's room, rolled over and was in no time on his feet with his sword drawn. Amelia yelped and jumped to a sitting position on the bed, quickly rearranging her dress.

The silence fell on the room like a ton of bricks. Zelgadis looked around, positively confused. No enemies. But surely he hadn't imagined her cries. Scanning the room for potential enemies he turned towards her. He looked down to check if she was okay, but was temporally stunned by the redness of her face. In all his time knowing her, he'd never seen her _this_ flushed.

"What happened, Amelia?" he asked, sheathing his sword and kneeling down beside her bed.

"Uhm.. nothing?" she lied, her face trying its best to grow even more red and avoiding his gaze like her life depended on it.

"Don't try to pull that one on me." He said, almost growling. "Something happened! And why didn't you follow Gourry and Lina?!"

"Nothing happened, Zelgadis, I assure you.." she tried, in a rather low voice, and did her best to sound natural, which, given the situation, wasn't very easy. Had he heard something, or had he just jumped in on intuition after learning that Gourry and Lina had left? She sure hoped the latter was the case. "L…Lina wasn't feeling well, so I let Gourry take her to the infirmary. I didn't think I was needed there with them, so I… I just thought that I.." She really tried to look and sound natural. But failed. Miserably.

Zel still looked at her directly and very sceptically. He was just about to consider if this was a fake Amelia when his nostrils caught the smell in the air. His fine tuned senses would have picked it up instantly, if he hadn't been too preoccupied with her safety. But now they were banging on the door of his mind, trying to tell him something he clearly had missed.

What was that smell? Subconsciously having some idea of what it might be, he didn't openly sniff, but instead just noticed the smell when he took a deep sighing breath through his nose. It smelled like a mixture of Amelia's personal smell, sweat and… something else.

Amelia got up and went behind the dressing-screen to change for the dinner. The moment she got up his nose was able to locate exactly where that strange smell was emitting from.

The shock hit him harder than Filia's Mace-sama ever had, as the pieces of the puzzle fitted together.

Had she just been..? Had he actually walked (burst) in on her while she was..?! It couldn't be! She was Amelia, for Cephied's sake! Surely she didn't… Well, of course she did, but..

His mind was actively fighting the thought. Sweet, little, innocent Amelia surely wasn't masturbating, and even if she was, there was no way in hell he could allow himself to accept, let alone imagine, or even worse; realise that he'd walked in on her while she was doing it! He felt his mind crash and burn, but the information gradually sank in. Yes, Amelia had been… playing with herself, and yes, dammit, she had been crying out his name.

The last part of the information was especially hard to swallow.

_Definitely not just a child's infatuation anymore, now is it?_ a darker side of his mind remarked.

He looked absentmindedly at the dressing screen. Could he have imagined it? Was that strange nightmare still having some effect on him? The line of thought itself definitely had some effect on him. He could hear her struggle with the evening gown and wanted nothing more than to slip behind the screen and grab her. She wanted to, right?

Wrong! Maybe he'd heard wrong, or maybe it was part of some bigger fantasy, one where he perhaps was the villain some prince were to rescue her from. He couldn't tell for sure if she actually wanted him or somebody else. And he knew for sure that the person she wanted at best was the person she thought he was, but she had no idea what kind of monster he really was, as she daily proved. And surely she didn't want him in that way.

But oh, how the thought did appeal tormentingly much to him anyways.

He cursed under his breath as he felt himself react to the thought. It had to be the more demonic part of him, he decided, instinctually reacting to the seductive smell of Amelia's.. intimate fluids. His line of thoughts was beginning to become more and more interrupted as he felt himself become more and more aroused. This was bad. He had to get out, and fast! He had to be around people, or something terrible might happen.

"I'll meet you in the hallway, Princess.." he said, forced, but tried his best to contain his voice, and hurried out of her room. He'd been so preoccupied that he'd even forgotten to drop the formalities. But then again, right now he'd really rather be a little too formal with her than a little too informal.

Breathing heavily and cursing he leaned against the wall. This little mishap had not exactly made his day any better. He needed to forget this, preferably instantly!

Thankfully, Lina and Gourry came staggering back as he was standing there, effectively dragging him out of his train of thoughts. Lina didn't look too good, but far better than she had earlier. It wouldn't be long. A couple of weeks at the most. From now on it'd be hard for Gourry both to guard Amelia effectively and to be there for his wife. Zel knew he had to figure out some alternative plan. But there was only 5 days left to the wedding anyways. Of course the assassins probably would make it five very intense days, but still. Some had to have given up by now.

Amelia stepped out of her room, looking like a (very expensive) dream, and greeted her friends. Lina said something inaudible that probably was a compliment AND a complaint combined.

There was a little reception banquet for the guests that had already arrived. They were all surprised that none of their friends had arrived. Well, save for Martina and Zangulus, that was. They were both there, being as obnoxiously loud as ever. Martina actively sought out Lina, to gloat, probably this time over the fact that she'd gotten children before her.

But other than the two Xoana-clowns, none of their travel-companions or travel-related acquaintances had arrived. Then again, they'd probably be there at the very last moment. Amelia though seemed a bit worried, and frequently asked them if they'd seen Filia. Zel gathered it had something to do with the letter Filia had sent her. But she didn't seem like it was any issue to panic about. Yet.

Zel spotted Lina and was slightly alarmed by her pale look and her panicked eyes. She wildly gestured to Martina, who was coming their way. She was also fighting to get through the crowd to hold Martina back. Zel figured that whatever came next would be bad. Every past experience with the ruler of Xoana indicated that.

Amelia seemed to first spot Martina when the green-curled girl was standing right in front of them. She of course wore something as tasteless as ever, only this time something that seemed more like a ball-gown. They both silently prayed they'd be spared for talks about the monstrous Zomelgustar.

"So, you two were the last ones, huh?" she said, nudging Amelia in the side. A slight slur in the voice gave away where all the welcome drinks had gone. "And I would have thought that you and stoneface would beat Lina and Gourry. You didn't seem as thick-skulled as her, but I guess I was wrong!"

She laughed, and Zel blanched. Not just because of the laugh. Actually, the laugh had very little to do with it, this once. Amelia tried to stop her, reaching out a hand on her arm, with flushed cheeks.

"Actually... Martina?... Uhm.. Actually I'm not getting married to Zelgadis." She said. It seemed like she'd really rather have just ignored the whole situation. But there was no way to just ignore this. Worst case scenario Martina would rise in church claiming that it was the wrong guy waiting by the alter.

The greenhaired girl looked at her with a surprised look.

"You're not?" she asked, blinking.

"No."

"But you two are practically glued together tonight!" she argued, as if offended, like she'd been intentionally mislead.

"He's acting as my bodyguard." Amelia explained, her voice uncharacteristically low.

Martina looked from the one to the other, as if still not quite believing them. She then looked thoughtful for a while, and scratched her chin.

"Oh, well, that's what I get for not really reading the invitation!" she then burst out in her obnoxious laugh. "I guess I just assumed that it would be you two. After all, you were almost as obvious as Lina and Gourry!" Another burst of Martina-laughter.

Zel wished he could get away with strangling the broad, and looked around to see if he could spot her husband. Perhaps if Zangulus turned up, she'd turn it down a little. However, there was no such luck, and he guessed that aforementioned husband was out on a good spar with Gourry by now.

Martina grabbed Amelia's arm, wiping the last tears of joy away from her eyes, and looked at her sternly with a wicked smile.

"But that makes it a _whole_ lot easier!" she said. And both Amelia and Zel wondered what she was talking about. Martina's voice thankfully became little more than a whisper as she leaned in on Amelia. "Lina-chan told me that she'd tried to give you some... advice. But I know how she sucks at such conversations, her being such a prude and all, so I figured I'd give you some insight on good positions and such. After all, you're new at this. But now that it isn't Rocky here we're talking about, that makes it a whole lot easier! I mean, if it were him, you'd probably have to ride him the first many times until you adjusted, and that would be... well... a little onesided? And you'll probably find yourself using your healing-spells in a whole new way!" She giggled. "But anyways, I'm here for you, should you need advice before the wedding night."

Zel could feel the blood drain from his face, and Amelia had it just opposite apparently, her cheeks all red.

Zel really wished he hadn't heard that. The last thing he needed was the mental image of the princess sitting naked, on top, impaled on him. He tried to pretend he hadn't heard it, and if he'd had a normal human hearing, he probably wouldn't have. But he had heard. And even worse, Amelia would know that he'd heard. He somehow hoped they'd just burry the subject along with the rest of this silly conversation and pretend it hadn't happen.

"Th..thank you, Martina." Amelia stuttered, her voice thin and cracked. "But I think I'll manage."

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The dinner was unfortunately uneventful enough to let Zel's mind wander. He was becoming more and more convinced that this had all been part of his weird dream, and that he was imagining things due to fatigue.

He needed sleep.

Amelia somehow noticed that. After the dinner, as soon as it was acceptable to leave, she grabbed his arm and practically dragged him upstairs. She quickly fetched her book on black magic from the library and then headed to his room. Wide-eyed and confused he protested as she opened the door and went in. She then sat down on a chair and opened the book.

"There. I can read just as well in here." She said with a beaming smile.

Very confused, the chimera just looked at her. Why was she sitting in his room, reading? To his relief Gourry and Lina followed, Gourry with a table, and Lina with some books. They all sat down in a corner of his room, and pretended it was the library.

"If you've got nothing better to do than stare, why doncha just lie down and sleep, Zel!?" Lina hissed over the edge of her book. She looked grumpier than ever.

So that was their plan. To give him a chance to sleep, while still on duty.

"I don't need sleep." Zel lied, trying to pull his all-purpose-stoic-heartless-magic-using-swordsman-monster-number again. If he were weak enough to succumb to trivial matters like sleep, he'd be of no real use to the group.

Lina sighed, and some angry hormones threatened to ally themselves with her bad temper, and dragonslave the stubborn stoneface, when Amelia gave it a go.

"Surely you need to sleep sometimes, Zelgadis." She said with a smile. "Just like you need to eat. After all, you're only human."

She tried, he had to hand that to her. But it was having just the opposite effect.

"Hardly." The cold answer flew back at her, and he sighed.

Lina was beginning to chant something when Gourry desperately covered her mouth and tried his luck.

"But Zel, it's not like you're doin' anything but just standing there anyways." He then seemed to drift in association. "I like to nap whenever I have tha chance. 'Specially when people are talking about stuff I don't get. Or outside in the sun is good too. On a hot day.." he trailed off, catching Lina's glare he came to his point "You should too!"

Zel scoffed. They were obviously worried, which only made it all the more important for him to keep his façade.

"ZEL! SLEEP! NOW!!" Lina growled in a high-pitched voice behind Gourry's hand.

It was a warning shot, he knew, and he was just about to protest when Amelia got up from her chair. She gave him that flirtatious gaze she'd been practicing a lot these last couple of days, and started walking towards him. With a determined look and swaying hips she was making him back away from her, cornering him. Memories from earlier today and fantasies alike flashed over his mind as she leaned towards him, effectively making him back into his bed, loose balance and fall down in a sitting position on it.

She leaned forward, showing him an ample amount of cleavage, thanks to the dress and placed a hand on his shoulder, softly whispering in a husky voice "I know what you need, Zel-ga-dis-san.." making him certain that this was all a part of some dream or daydream due to lack of sleep.

His disbelief in the situation made it so much easier for Amelia to finish the sleep-spell and cast it on him, without him having any time to dodge or prevent it. He instantly fell to the mattress.

"I'm sorry, Zelgadis, but…" Amelia fretted, looking slightly guilty with clutched hands.

"Naw, doncha worry. If he hadn't been so damn proud, he'd have taken a nap voluntary!" Lina exclaimed with a dismissing wave of her hand. "Gourry, go tug him in, or something. Can't have him weak up with a stiff neck."

After having tugged the sleeping chimera in, Gourry sat down beside her. He'd found a book on knighthood. Amelia reminded herself that she needed to grant him one as soon as she was entitled to. That was, of course, if he hadn't gotten one way before then.

"Poor Zelgadis…" Amelia said, looking at him. "He has pushed himself too hard these days."

"He looked especially out of it when we encountered him in the hallway before dinner." Lina remarked thoughtfully, looking up from her book.

Amelias cheeks flushed a bit. She still had no idea just how much of the situation the sleepy chimera had grasped, but she sure as hell didn't feel like explaining that the reason why he might be so phased out **could** be because he'd walked in on her masturbating.

"Oh? He did? I didn't notice." Amelia lied.

She could see on the both of them that it would have served her cause better, if she hadn't said anything at all. Gourry, could apparently see right through her, and Lina didn't believe a word she was saying. Gourry didn't have to hear the words that came out of Amelia, because he could read her emotions right off her, and Lina could analyse the tone of her voice and she knew Amelia too well.

Their knowing looks made Amelia's book on black magic incredibly interesting. She fixed her gaze on it, and dared not to look up for a long time.

Obviously they didn't know what exactly had happened. If they had, their looks would have been quite different, and Lina would either have made fun of her, or wouldn't have been able to handle the embarrassment of the situation and done something to lighten the mood and change subject, such as randomly fireballing something, or beating Gourry up.

"And that was a particularly nasty stunt you just pulled, Amelia." Lina insisted, giving her a sly look. "I'll have to admit it was damn effective."

Gourry nodded. Then he too looked at the floor-observing princess.

"You sure knew how to use his weakness against him." He said. "Tactically really nice, but I hope you're not just leading him on. That would be kinda mean.."

For that remark he earned an elbow in his side from Lina and a scowling look. For all she cared, Amelia was free to rub in Zel's face what exactly his pigheadedness had leaded him to miss out on!

After a few quiet hours, the couple decided to retire, and asked Amelia if she'd feel safer following them to their quarters and sleeping there or staying in Zel's room. There were also always the possibility to call some of the palace guards to stand watch, but between the three of them they agreed that staying in Zel's room was better for many reasons. First of all, no assassins would even LOOK there in the first place. Second of all, Zel would probably wake up, if he sensed danger, even if he was sleeping. A sleepspell was pretty easily reversed by conventional means, such as noises, shaking or in Zel's case, having a gut-feeling that something was off.

At least they all conveniently pretended to agree on that fact.

And third, Lina thought to herself, only 5 more days for Amelia to figure out if she was really serious about marrying her white prince, or if she'd come around. This was perhaps a bold decision, but if the shit hit the fan, Lina promised herself she'd explain it all to Phil, or at least die trying! Besides, he'd already opened for the possibility himself. Of course that didn't naturally entail that he'd let her marry the chimera, but they'd cross that bridge when they found it. If they found it.

Amelia too had this third advantage in mind when she made her decision. Sure, she'd spend lots of nights with Zel, but that was with him guarding her in her sleep. This was different. She figured that come tomorrow, she'd have made her mind up.

As soon as Gourry closed the door behind him, she looked at Zelgadis' peaceful sleeping form. She moved the chair and sat down right beside his bed, within reach of his face.

She looked at him, brushed a few stray wires away from his face and sighed. She'd thought she was well over him, but now she had to admit that if he asked her to, she'd elope with him anytime, leaving Sailrune, her people, justice and her father behind. Running right into a Mazoku plot, and she wouldn't care. It somehow both reassured and bothered her to no end knowing that he'd never ask that of her.

She unconsciously moved from the chair to sit at the edge of the bedside, still brushing her hand through his hair and over his face. She loved the feel of his skin, like a stone warmed in the sun. Not exactly rock hard, but more than just solid, with a smooth and lukewarm feel to it. Perhaps that's why she'd always taken every opportunity to hug or touch him. Although that might also have been force of habit. Both her father and she were very physical in their expression.

She slowly leaned downwards, making herself comfortable in half horizontal position, beside him. She was going to sleep in that bed anyways.

The thought kinda thrilled her. Sure nothing would happen, since he was out cold for at least 8 hours or so, and even if he wasn't, the only plausible thing happening was him telling her to get in line. But still. She'd have a chance, most likely her only chance, to sleep in his arms. She wondered if she should allow herself to lie there. It was intruding on his privacy after all. Not to mention it'd look pretty bad if anybody walked in.

He was lying on his back; hands sprawled out to either side. It was like he was inviting her to lie there, although she knew that wasn't the case.

She decided that she wouldn't pass up this chance, and that he could scold her tomorrow, which he probably would anyways, since she'd cast that sleep-spell on him.

She fitted perfectly lying beside him, with her head resting on his shoulder, and one arm and leg draped over him. She sighed contently. This felt right. So very right. She'd almost been lying like this before. But then again, that as when he'd jumped in in-front of her to save her from Gaav's deadly strike. It hadn't exactly been something she'd thought back on with pleasure, but she still remembered how it felt lying there. It felt right.

Trying to shift a little to a more comfortable position, she realised that her dress was not only getting in her way but also being crinkled. She reluctantly got up, and scanned the room for something to sleep in. Finding only the spare set of the tunic and pants-combo he always wore (now dried) and a PJ, she opted for the latter. Zel's clothes would be severely crinkled tomorrow, seeing how he'd sleep in them tonight, so he'd need the spare set. However, he wasn't going to use his PJ, so there was no harm in taking it, was there? She couldn't see what harm it could do, so she quickly slipped out of the fine evening gown and into the PJ. The shirt came to mid-thigh, and was way too long on the sleeves too, but it didn't matter much. However, the pants were way too big. They rode dangerously low on her hips, threatening to fall down every second. She gathered it wouldn't matter much, though. With a little luck she'd wake before Zelgadis, and even if she didn't the shirt alone was at least half-decent.

Looking down at herself she decided that it would just have to suffice, and got back into bed. She pulled the covers over herself, and slowly lowered her head to his shoulder and upper arm. An arm was unintentionally but naturally draped over his chest, and she hugged herself a little to him. Yes, this felt right. And it was worth it all. He could yell at her all he would tomorrow, (and she had no doubt in her mind that he would!) but she wouldn't regret a thing of it.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**AN:** Yes, I'm a sadistic old bat, okay? I like seeing characters squirm. The better and more complex the character, the better the squirm.

If you think this chapter is a bit "too much" (I know, for instance that some people can't stand the thought of self-sex, somehow seeing it as even more provocative than real sex! Oo the fuck?), I am seriously sorry, but it ain't going to chance. And there's probably a more of this stuff coming up. (Little less on the tease and more on the actual getting the relationship moving). I won't throw in sex just for the heck of it, so don't worry. No matter what this chapter might indicate, I actually do care for the story, and don't aim to ruin it. ;) So there.

Luv ya. ;)


	10. A stupid course of action

**AN:** Warning. This will be long and sappy. So sappy, in fact, that I ended up having to draw myself after having done the majority of this chapter.

http : (slash slash) themadbatter . deviantart . com (slash) art (slash) The-sappy-leeches-95030060

I hope you will enjoy this chapter, as it is the second to last one.

And for those of you who enjoy the way I portray Xel/Fil, I'll have to disappoint. I won't go much further with that in this fic. But if there's any mood for it, I'll perhaps make them their own fic. You'd like that?

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**A stupid course of action.**

Before one wakes up there's usually a period of time where the mind is slowly readjusting to reality. Sometimes that adjustment can be a little rocky, and dream and reality can mix freely together in a bright, wonderfully coloured, deceptively innocent looking cocktail, with a pink umbrella in it.

It was in one of those periods that Zelgadis cracked an eye open. The first thing he saw was the fabric of his pyjamas. Nothing really exceptional in that, except when the reality check came knocking on his visual cortex, telling them that there was something wrong. According to them, he was not lying in a position where he'd be able to see this part of his body. In fact, they couldn't think of any way in which he could stare down his own backside. And there was another thing altogether alarming about the sight. It wasn't his backside either.

His mind jumpstarted by this little surprise, he forced himself to wake a little more, and battled the other eye open too. He'd been sleeping well. A lot better than the previous attempts, and felt alarmingly rested and relaxed. His muscles hummed in a tranquil manner, and he was having a really hard time comprehending why he'd slept so well. No nightmares at all. No uneasy feeling.

Except for now of course. He found it difficult to move his head, probably due to the same relaxed feeling, the feeling of not quite being awake yet, but he'd never suffered from that before. When he finally did get around to drawing his head back a little, he realised that there was a head nestled on his shoulder and arm, and that it was resting at the crook of his neck. A tangled mess of black hair was what he looked down at, and he'd seen that bed-head so many times these past mornings that he knew exactly who it belonged to.

Gradually more awake, he started to assess the situation. Amelia was lying halfway on him, using him as a pillow, wearing his pyjamas, in his room. The startling realisation that he should have been on guard duty didn't seem to kick him hard enough to send him flying all the way into an awake and alert state, though. Instead he was more concerned with the view his eyes had fixed upon when he'd drawn his head even further back to see her face. While Amelia's bowed, sleeping face wasn't very visible to him, her cleavage, however, was.

It wasn't like he'd never noticed it before. With a girl as well-endowed as Amelia, it was pretty hard **not** to notice, although he'd taken a valiant go at trying for the longest time. But this was the first time it'd been pressed against his chest, an action that did nothing to diminish the shape, in his PJ shirt, with at least the first three buttons opened. An altogether way too pleasing view. He really should look away, he thought. He excused himself with not being entirely awake, which actually did seem to be the case, and figured there was no harm in enjoying the view for a bit. The fact that this thought wasn't thumped down the minute it surfaced alone was a proof sustaining the hypothesis that he wasn't quite awake.

When she started to stir, he felt his arm tug her towards him in an almost possessive way, all by itself, which of course made him wonder what the heck it was doing. At the same time he noticed that his other arm was draped over her midsection, one leg was draped over hers and one knee was between her lower thighs. To be more precise, it was trapped between her thighs, because there was no way he'd be able to remove it without force, and she'd wake from that. Generally he found that untangling himself from this would prove far harder than anything else he'd ever had to untangle himself from, including emotions and sticky situations. Thankfully the position left at least a decent distance between their lower regions, because while Zel never had been one to suffer much from morning wood, the effects of having Amelia lying on him like this, and the view she unconsciously offered him, was beginning to show.

While he was thinking of some sort of good way to gently untangle himself without waking her, both his arms moved of their own volition, again hugging her to him. The feeling of her lying there was addicting and altogether too nice. She moved and mumbled something in her sleep about justice and how she'd never forgive those who stood against it. He smiled uncharacteristically.

Seeing how there was no way to get up without waking the serene princess, he opted for staying, a decision that again sustained the suspicion that he wasn't quite awake. When had he stopped flinching when she touched him? When had he stopped wanting to flee when she was near? He found he couldn't pin it down.

Even when her hand began moving against his upper torso, he didn't even flinch. At first he thought she was doing it in her sleep. But when the movement took on the form of perfect, rhythmically drawn circles, he figured she was at least somewhat awake. Again drawing his head back in order to see her better, he managed to see her slightly opened eyes, along with the pinkish blush that was now spreading over her cheeks and nose.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, and thought for a moment that a "good-morning" would have sufficed. Or asking how she'd slept would've been good. He imagined he wasn't exactly the softest of pillows. But what the heck? A quick questioning was almost the same as a morning-greeting or a display of friendly concern. He reminded himself that he'd have to work on his social intellect one of these days.

Her eyes quickly flicked to his face and back again, staring at his chest. She didn't stop the motion.

"I don't really know..." she said, her voice low and more air than voice. "Does it bother you?"

The mere fact that she didn't just stop the minute she realised he'd noticed the motion was sending off all kinds of alarms and flashing lights in his mind. But he apparently failed to act accordingly, and simply shook his head with a soft smile. It didn't bother him as such. Far from it.

"No.. You knocked me out with a sleep-spell, didn't you?" he asked.

She hesitantly nodded, apparently expecting a reprimand. He laughed softly at the meek look on her face.

"I'd be mad if I wasn't so damn relaxed..." he trailed off, closing his eyes in bliss.

"You don't mind me lying here?" she asked, almost disbelieving.

He silently shook his head, not really sure that was the proper answer in this situation, but quite frankly he didn't give a damn.

After a while of silent circle motions, she apparently grew a little bolder and let her fingers dance further over his torso, while ghosting lightly over his tunic. He shivered from the touch, not unpleasantly. She noticed and looked at him almost questioningly. He felt he hadn't deserved that questioning look, seeing how it was more appropriately that he should feel puzzled by her actions than she should feel about his reactions to them. Never the less she felt like uttering the question.

"Did that bother you?" her blue eyes full of anticipation and nervousness.

"No... " he said. Then, suddenly feeling a little too passive and un-participating in the conversation, he felt like adding "It's... nice."

She smiled. Not the beaming smile, but the soft, content smile that was equally brilliant in its own, more quiet way. Again he hugged her to him, and felt the rush of the possessiveness run through him, like the most exquisite shiver he'd ever had.

Her fingers danced upwards, and as they came to caress the contour of his collarbone and neck, he found himself alarmingly reacting with tilting his head, allowing her even further access to the area, and letting out a barely audible sigh. Hearing his own sigh he suddenly snapped back to reality and grabbed her wrist. She looked at him, not blinking, not even blushing much, and certainly not explaining or excusing herself. He felt his will crumble and he simply let go of her wrist without saying anything. After a moment of hesitation it continued its trail of sweet torture.

His hand found its way back to rest on the small of her back, and to his horror he found that it'd started to mimic her caress, gently running his fingers up and down the curve of her spine. She almost purred as her eyes fluttered closed for a moment and she let out a relaxed and content sigh.

Recollections of yesterdays freaky events combined with the current situation were tearing the poor chimera in two. On one side this was very nice, tranquil and relaxing, not to mention highly pleasurable. On the other hand he just couldn't get the nightmare he'd had yesterday out of his mind, and he could feel that he was beginning to enjoy this too much. Besides, he had to remind himself, she probably didn't even know what she was doing. He forced his hand to stop the caress of her backside. After successfully halting that motion, he decided to break up the party altogether.

"Amelia.." he breathed. "I really think you should stop that now."

She looked at him with those impossibly blue eyes and her head slightly tilted.

"You don't want me to continue?"

"No. Well, yes, but..."

"It doesn't feel good?" she asked, and he could've bitten his tongue off right there. It came out so innocently it almost sounded suggestive. Well, he'd played right into this situation, hadn't he?

"It does, but-"

"I'm glad." She cut him off, not allowing him to argue. She snuggled closer to him, resting her head at the crook of his neck, and caressed the shoulder she wasn't lying on. He could feel his heartbeat speed up, and feeling of holding her like this was alarming him. The thought that he'd like to hold her like this forever scared him witless. But the thought of what he might do if he indulged in this any longer frightened him even more.

As Amelia shifted again, the leg that was between his brushed further upwards, and she was pressed a little more against him, although luckily not in the critical region. Her free hand started to caress his side and occasionally dipped down to his stomach.

He'd never imagined he would be this sensitive to touch. Of course he knew that his tactile senses were only slightly below normal, but he'd never figured it'd apply to this too. He could also feel her breath on the side of his throat. Why was it at the same time so relaxing, but simultaneously very unnerving too. It was certainly luring his thoughts into turning a very wrong corner somewhere, and effectively sending them walking down the streets of suggestiveness.

The distinct weight of her breast pressed against his chest, and her increasingly ragged and shallow breathing was nothing short of torture. Her fingers danced even lower on his sides, now once in a while brushing his hips. As she snuggled against him again, she now moved her thigh higher, now effectively pressing it up between his, and hence pressed herself closer to him, her hips critically advancing towards his. He wasn't quite certain, but he could've sworn she wasn't wearing the bottoms of his pyjamas.

This was where Zel could feel his self-control wear thin and decided to stop this before it snapped completely. He grabbed her by the shoulder and distanced himself a little from her.

"This is not a way friends interact, Amelia, no matter how damn close they are!" he almost felt like growling, but found it hard to raise his voice to her. He couldn't even find it in himself to sound stern. "Why are you doing this?"

Amelia bit her lip. She figured she might as well be honest. After all, she was going to explain it to everybody else later the same day anyways. He might as well be told in advance so that it didn't hit him like a hammer when he heard. Although she'd find it hard to believe that he could be in any doubt. But then again, he had been so before. She took a deep breath, and swallowed her uncertainties.

"Because I love you, Zelgadis." She said, and although she blushed, it came out almost natural, like it was no big deal. She guessed it really wasn't. She'd always loved him. He knew she had. This was telling him old news, only that they still applied. It was actually a lot easier than she'd thought. And she felt a sudden relief by coming clear with him.

"Look, Amelia, showing your friends that you love them in this way is sending out entirely wrong signals!" he almost sneered, as if upset with her. "You don't know what this is doing to me, dammit!" She noticed he was actually blushing. She smiled, but tried to hide it, seeing how it only made him further angry. However, seeing his angry look mixed with the disbelief and the blush was enough to make her giggle.

"What?!" he demanded, now sounding as if there was a big joke he'd missed out on and quite irritated about it too.

"You're right, you're wrong and you might be wrong." She said. Funny how this calm feeling of coming clean with him was making her giddy. Like she had the upper hand where in fact she didn't have any hand at all. She'd placed all her cards on the table. She guessed it was perhaps even more liberating than if she'd been in charge of the situation. She had nothing to lose.

Zel looked at her with an almost blaming look, and it was obvious that he didn't understand what she'd just said.

"You're right, it's no way to show affection to a friend. But it is not sending out the wrong signals." She said, wondering how much she'd have to spell it out for him. "And I think I have an idea what kind of effect it has on you." Saying the last part she couldn't help but blush.

"What do you mean, Amelia?" He asked, one stony eyebrow cocked, and looking sceptically at her. But it looked like he was catching on, like the right answer was nagging his thoughts, and he just hoped it wasn't the case.

"I told you that I love you." She said. "But... not just as a friend..."

She trailed off, but forced herself to keep looking at him. As it gradually sunk in, his face changed over many different kinds of emotion. From shocked to remorseful, to almost angry.

"You can't mean that, Amelia!" he insisted.

"You really believe that? After all that's happened?" she asked, hinting to all the tender moments they'd shared these last many days.

"Surely it's only in a platonic way." He tried, his voice almost meek.

"If it is, then why do I feel this strong urge to kiss you right now, Zelgadis?" She asked, her voice a whisper, but the tone altogether too honest for him to pass it off as something else than an actual intent. His breath hitched, as she leaned slightly closer.

His hand shot out to grab her shoulder again, stopping her movement.

"I think that would be a really stupid course of action, princess." He warned, while internally shouting at himself for not having waited with that better-knowing comment till after she'd kissed him. No matter what he said he couldn't convince himself that he didn't want to feel what those lips would feel like upon his own. But it wasn't his place to do that. He had no right to think that. Then again he had no bloody right to claim her heart in the first place, and yet he'd done so. Again. Not that he'd any idea how he'd managed to do so in the first place.

"You're probably right." She said, and took a deep breath. "And I'm perfectly fine with you not feeling the same.. But just give me one kiss and I'll never ask for anything more than that. I'd like my first real kiss to be from you."

He knew this was a bad idea. It even sounded like a bad idea. You didn't have to be a genius to figure out that this was a bad idea, but apparently you _did_ have to be a whole lot smarter than Zelgadis was at that moment. While his brain was screaming for him to pay attention, like it was yelling at some kind of unfocused puppy, the rest of his body was strongly urging him to just run with it. One kiss couldn't harm anyone, could it?

"You should save that for Orin." A sudden rush of common sense and decency ran through him, forcing him to unwillingly utter the words.

She laughed. She actually laughed. For a moment his respect for her dropped a little. But when she looked at him again, he didn't see the face of an intentionally manipulative woman who was cheating on her future husband. He saw the face of a woman deeply in love, and very confident with it too.

"There'd be little point in that, seeing how I am not going to marry him." She said.

Like a kick to the stomach this threw him completely off guard. What was this about!? Had he ruined even that? He slowly rose to his elbows, freeing his one arm from underneath Amelia's head. He then sat up entirely, looking at her with mixed horror and remorse.

"And before you start blaming yourself, it's not because of you..." she started, then corrected herself. "Well, it is, but not as you might think. I know you don't feel the same, so don't feel bad about it. I don't expect you love me back or take Orin's place. But I won't marry another man while I'm still in love with you. I can't. It's not just! I'm not over you yet. Perhaps I never will be, but at least there's no justice in intentionally deceiving Orin into thinking he has a chance to gain my heart."

Zel was lost for words. How could she say it so easily? Like it was no big deal. Sailrune had been standing on end for weeks, celebrating. People had gathered. This wasn't just something to be called off. But when he looked in her eyes, he knew that she'd thought it through, over and through again a lot of times.

"And he knows this?!" Zel asked, stepping out of the bed. He wondered if she'd told Orin while he'd been out cold by the sleep-spell, because it was pretty obvious that this wasn't the going plan the night before at the reception.

"I'm going to tell him after breakfast." She said, sitting up, now sounding a little nervous, and looking down in a brooding way. "You'll help me through that, won't you, Zelgadis?"

He looked at her, leaned in over her, tilting her head up by her chin, and smiled at her comfortingly.

"Of course I will." He said. "If that's what you've decided. I'll stand by you no matter what."

"That's what friends are for?" she asked with a relieved smile. "Look, could we just forget this conversation ever happened?" She asked, hoping that they could at least retain this close friendship if they kept on pretending there was nothing more between them. He looked at her quickly, and sighed.

"I can't just forget that, Amelia." He said, honestly. "But I can promise you that I won't allow it to change things between us." He smiled comfortingly at her. "As for your request... Let me think about it, okay?"

Amelia breathed again. She hadn't known when she'd started holding her breath, but it felt like a long time now that she'd let it go. She moved to get out of the bed too, suddenly feeling a little silly. Just as she'd feared the night before when she'd put them on, the PJ pants had slit down, and were lying at the footboard of the bed. She looked at him, wondering if she dared to move from the covers of the bed. Zel himself stood looking his severely crinkled tunic, and obviously looking for his spare set.

In an attempt to lighten the mood and test the waters Amelia gestured towards him and said:

"I'm sorry you had to sleep in that. But I figured you wouldn't like the thought of me undressing you." She giggled as he spun around to look at her.

He quickly recovered, grabbing his spare tunic.

"I wouldn't know about that.." he started out, lifting his current tunic over his head and taking it off in one smooth movement. "But I doubt you would've been able to move me enough to do that. Of course, you could always have ripped it off me... But that would hardly have been any better for the clothes." He looked at her and gave her a smug smile.

Amelia looked back at him, her cheeks slightly red. She wondered if she'd ever figure out whether he was interested or not. Then again, he probably hadn't even done so himself. But still, this teasing atmosphere was definitely a relief. She'd thought the moment he knew her intentions he'd flee and close himself off as he'd done before. This proved he actually meant it when he'd said it wouldn't change anything.

"Don't you want me to turn around?" she asked, trying to sound teasing, but quite frankly it came out more confused than teasing.

"Why? You've seen this before." He said, casually dismissing it.

She sighed relieved. She then too decided that there was nothing to feel ashamed about, and got out of bed. It wasn't like he hadn't seen her thighs before, which was all the shirt really revealed. But when she got out of bed, he was still staring at her in disbelief.

"Want me to turn around?" he asked, and somehow his voice seemed a little troubled. Like he would have turned around on his own, if it hadn't been for him promising that he wouldn't make a big deal about it, and as a result forcing some kind of un-awkwardness between them. She giggled.

"You've seen me in less. Besides, I might need your help to get this dress on." She pointed to her evening-gown from the night before. Zel inwardly froze. He remembered all too well how she'd struggled with it the evening before, behind the dressing screen. At the time he'd wondered if he should've slipped behind the screen to "help her out with that", with entirely impure intentions. Now he wondered if it'd be so easy to help her into it without jumping back to the same track of thought.

"Why wear that one?" he asked, not thinking.

"Well, I don't really have anything else here.. Would you rather I made a run for my room wearing this?" she asked, her voice slightly sarcastic and teasing.

He gulped, thinking of how bad that would look. It would be bad enough if anybody saw them exit his room with her wearing the same dress as yesterday, but in his pyjamas-shirt.. That might be pushing it.

He noticed that it did look as good on her now as it had earlier this morning. The picture was altogether way too pleasing and felt way too right to him. Some kind of possessive pride he guessed. His girl in his clothes, right? Only it wasn't his girl, now was it, a part of him 

reminded him. Another part remarked that it could have been. Perhaps it still could be. It was promptly stomped down. He had nothing to offer her, and besides, they'd been here before. Eventually it'd die out, just like it had the last time. Because it had died out, hadn't it?

Zelgadis found himself so occupied in the thoughts that he didn't notice he hadn't put on the fresh tunic he was currently holding. Amelia was standing with her back turned towards him, starting to unbutton the shirt.

He knew it would be awkward the moment his hand reached to grab her elbow, but did so regardless. She barely managed to look back at him before he'd yanked her elbow, effectively spinning her around and towards him.

She was caught flush against him, her hands instinctively managing soften the impact with his chest by resting on it. Her confusion was obvious, painted all over her blue eyes, and for a moment he wondered why the heck he'd done that.

Even if he was going to concede to her request, him wearing only his pants, and her being only in his half-unbuttoned pyjamas shirt, hardly constituted the right frames wherein a chaste, symbolic kiss could take place. Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have missed such an obvious point. However, as he stood there, the only thing that he really noticed was an urge to run his hand through her hair, tugging it behind her ear. Which he indulged.

She leaned into the palm of his hand as he ran his fingers through her soft locks. To her surprise, he left it there, cupping her face. She wanted to close her eyes and just enjoy the caress, but somehow she felt that if she broke their eye-contact, he'd withdraw.

However, it seemed more like a conscious decision (albeit a stupid one) than him being caught in the moment, as he leaned down. His nose gently brushing hers, and the strands of his wire-hair tickling her cheek. As his breath mingled with hers she realised that she was breathing rather heavily, in anticipation.

She wanted to move, so badly. To just end the anticipation and kiss him. But then she was right back with the thought of scaring him off. If he wanted to grant her the kiss she'd asked for, it was really up to him. She couldn't just steal it from him or force him, and although his intentions were clear, he still had the right to change his mind.

His other hand had come up to brush through her hair on the other side of her face. He closed his mouth, swallowing, and looked at her with less intense but more tender eyes and expression.

"If I kiss you, I have this feeling the entire world will fall apart." He said, conveying his feeling of uneasiness as honestly as possible. He didn't know how he would react to it. But he knew that he already felt she was missing from his embrace the moment he'd gotten up from bed, and wasn't in any doubt that he'd keep on feeling that she was missing from now on. He didn't dare imagine what would happen if he was foolish enough to kiss her.

"I don't care." She said in a whisper, sounding exactly like she had nights ago, where they'd been standing almost on the exact same spot in a situation not entirely unlike their current one.

"This is really stupid..." he said, leaning even closer, and tilting her face towards his own.

"Then be an idiot, just for a little while.."

She'd hardly finished breathing the words before his lips softly and gently brushed against hers, as if he was afraid to harm her. Their joint inexperience with the whole action of kissing was evident, but not really bothering either of them. Amelia felt like her lower lip was on fire, tingling with oversensitivity from all the anticipation. And as his lips brushed over hers, she almost jolted. In order to leave little doubt of her approval, she dared lean in a little. Realising that this had not hurt her he pressed his lips further against hers, though still attempting to retain the gentleness.

One of Amelia's hands that'd been resting on his chest, found its way to his neck, and she hugged herself to him, putting a little passion into the act. Zelgadis found himself only too happy to respond in kind, and as she opened her mouth allowing him entrance, he took the invitation with no questions asked. His one hand moved from her cheek to rest at the nape of her neck, deeply entangled in her hair, and the other came to rest at the small of her back.

They both knew it was just one kiss. That was what the deal had been about. But that of course didn't entail that it couldn't be a long kiss. A long and passionate kiss. Either refused to be the first to break it off, and even when the door swung open, they were both so wrapped up in it that they didn't fly apart like they probably should have. Not that it probably would have made any difference at all to the shocked looking servant, who dropped the tray with breakfast he'd been holding, and quickly scurried out.

Needless to say the emergency meeting Amelia had hoped to have after her breakfast was rushed forward. Better they heard directly from her than from the palace gossip.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

All persons involved had been gathered within the hour in Phil's office, just as she'd asked for. When their mumbling simmered down a little, Amelia stood up, proud, and walked to the chair in which Orin sat. She looked at him squarely and with a slightly apologetic smile.

"It's off, Orin." She said, her voice as calm and even as she could muster. It wouldn't help anybody that she opened for the possibility for this to become scene.

Everybody looked at her with a surprised look, except for Gourry and Lina. Orin's face was one big question mark, and he didn't even have to open his mouth to utter the question before it was answered.

"It's not fair to you, or to anybody else in the matter. I don't love you, and I don't think I ever will."

"But Amelia, dear, plenty of nobles have arranged marriages where love eventually blossom-"

"No, Orin. You don't understand. I love somebody else." She said it so confidently and effortlessly now, as if it just came natural to her. She didn't sound particularly proud, but didn't at all sound like it was something she was ashamed about either.

Orin got up from his chair, running a hand through his blonde locks in a frustrated gesture. He started pacing the floor.

"It's that.. that thing that put you up to it!" he accused, pointing a shaky finger at Zelgadis.

Amelia shook her head in a frustratingly calm and peaceful gesture, as if she was fully confident with what she was about to say, and as if she was talking to a child that'd just thrown a tantrum.

"Zelgadis didn't put me up to anything. But it is true that I can't marry you because of him." She said, calmly.

Orin's eyes widened with anger, and he his teeth showed in a snarl, as he turned to glare even more daggers at the said chimera.

"Has he snared you with false promises of love?!" he hissed, more an accusation than an actual question.

"No. I know he does not love me." She said. "But it would still be unfair to you and to my people to pretend to love you and marry you while my heart belongs to somebody else."

Orin looked a little shocked at her first statement. Like he hadn't expected it to be possible for Amelia to love this monster without at least being promised everlasting love in return.

"So the wedding is off. I am sure you'll all be very diplomatic about this." Amelia said, her voice calm and very mature.

"But what about the attempts on your life, Amelia-dear? If we don't get married, they might continue!" he said.

"Unless that was a rather poorly concealed and even poorer delivered threat, that was a pretty pointless argument." Zel said, stepping up to the conversation for the first time. "The wave of assassination attempts started at the announcement of your countries unity. And even if they don't stop, I'll be here to protect her."

Lina bit down hard on her lip to keep the happy squeal from escaping them. Gourry reached out and clenched her hand in his, while smiling at her as discreetly as he could muster.

"You? You're the most incompetent and unprofessional bodyguard that ever existed!" Orin almost screeched. "Just this morning was a blatant display of your unprofessionalism!"

"It might be unprofessional, Orin, but I assure you that does not translate to ineffective or unmotivated!" he hissed, his teeth gritted and slightly bared in a snarling expression. "I don't think you'll be able to find one person in the entire kingdom keener to protect her than me!"

"You can't protect her forever!" Orin hissed, equally agitated.

Zel seemed to think about that statement for a second. Then the anger left his face, and he turned half to face Amelia and her father.

"You're right." He said, observing Amelia's nervous expression. He then took a deep breath and with it an equally deep decision. "But I can protect her for the rest of my life."

Everybody shut up directly after that. They all looked at each other, and only Lina and Gourry seemed totally unfazed by and quite happy about it. Then again, they were probably the only ones in the room that knew what that meant. Sadly, also including the chimera and the princess. If Zel indeed knew what the heck he was saying, well... then he wouldn't sound like there was still any room left in Amelia's life for any other man. Because there wasn't. They were just all pretending. And it seemed like Lina and Gourry were the only ones who'd figured that out. However, it was not bad at all. He might not have come to the point where he'd realised that he loved Amelia yet, but given the position of lifeguard on life, he'd come around eventually.

Zelgadis, knowing that this was the time for diplomacy and etiquette regained himself, and turned fully to face Phil. The bear straightened as he did so, looking Zelgaids squarely in the eyes with a stern but not hostile look.

"Prince, if I may." He asked. After Phil nodded his head, he continued. "I would like to ask your permission to be Amelia's bodyguard for as long as she might need me."

Amelia's eyes widened and she looked slightly alarmed and disbelieving all at the same time. She stepped a little closer, reaching out to place a hand on his arm.

"But what about your cure?" she all but whispered, her voice thin with disbelief, and her head slightly cocked to a side.

"If you need me as I am now, it would be pointless to find the cure now. If there ever comes a time where you don't have to fear the assassins, I'll go look for it then." He didn't look at her when he spoke, but held Phil's gaze. Like it was more a promise to Phil than to her.

"Very well my boy." Phil said. "You have my permission."

Amelia's disbelieving eyes darted to her father, obviously also disbelieving this to be real.

"This is all a conspiracy against Zephilia!" Orin hissed. "This will have consequences! When my father hears of this, he might even declare war against Sailrune!"

Lina shot him a glare, and he apparently sensed it, because he turned to look at her.

"Then just remember who lives here!" Lina said, her smug smile confident as she crossed her arms over her chest. "And we'll of course be in the front line, defending our home and family!"

Gourry tugged her proudly to his side, and shot Orin an even more defiant look. Everybody knew what an awesome duo they were, and they all knew not to get on Gabriev-Inverse-duo's bad side.

Orin decided not to push the subject, and instead went to Amelia.

"You agreed to marry me." He said.

"That's true." She returned, her voice not trembling. "And I am most sorry to break that promise."

"Then don't. It would be easier not to."

"But I don't-"

"You will eventually. I can live with that." Orin cut her off.

Lina bit her lip furiously. Somebody should really tell that guy to lay off, but the fact of the matter was that he had every right to at least try to remake her the offer under these changed conditions. And if Amelia truly believed that Zelgadis had not, did not and would not love her, then she just might accept it. Something had to be done to break the moment. Something. Anything!

"I don't think that..." but Amelia trailed off.

Orin stepped closer. Zelgadis almost moved to prevent him, but apparently remembered his place in all of this.

Then a little miracle happened.

"Amelia!" Lina shouted over the increasing mumbling in the room.

"Do NOT interfere, Inverse!" Orin hissed, not looking at her. "Nothing you say will stop this conversation."

Lina struck up a pained but scornful laughter, looking every bit the ever-triumphant sorceress she'd always been, when she looked up to meet their eyes. Gourry supported her in her hunched over state, with a concerned expression.

"How about "My water just broke!"?" she hissed out with a pained huff of laughter before she collapsed into her husband's arms.

After that everything about Amelia's wedding was entirely forgotten, as Lina was rushed to the healers and midwives. Amelia stayed by her side the entire time.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Lina's baby might have been a little early, but Lina would forever say that it was "just in time", and seeing how it was a healthy and well-grown baby-girl, nobody ever disagreed with that. Lina almost instantly dubbed her Ruby, after seeing how she'd inherited Lina's deep red eyes. Her hair was red-blond, and everybody hoped that she'd inherit not only more of her father's hair-colour than her mother's but also more his disposition and temper rather than Lina's.

When she was absolutely certain that both mother and child was okay, Amelia left the room to seek a word with her father. With this new development, she simply didn't know where she was standing anymore. She was pretty certain that Orin and his entourage was packing up already, and would be leaving the castle pretty soon. She really hated having to do this, but there was no way to avoid it. She scolded herself for not having taken the obvious decision long ago. Zelgadis naturally was right at her tail, ever watchful even at this seemingly joyful hour.

She sighed to herself, and thought that at the very least she'd taken the right decision before it was too late, and that the "better late than never"-proverb should apply to her too. Besides, if Zelgadis did stay for a while, she'd be ever so happy. If something happened, it happened. If it didn't, she was no worse off than before. It was all in all a very relaxing situation she was in. Now all she had to do was to get it all sorted out with her father.

When she opened the door to her father's study, however, she didn't see the person she expected, and quite frankly she wondered if she could get away with slamming the door shut and pretending she hadn't seen the person. But the moment she opened it, the golden dragon twirled around to look at her with a way too concerned look on her face.

Amelia could only freeze in her tracks. Zel looked at her concerned.

"Amelia dear!" the dragoness exclaimed, walking over to hug her, as if she was really concerned, which, but all reason, she probably really was.

"Filia!" she exclaimed finally, trying to find some joy to put in the voice. "So happy to see you." She still wasn't very good at lying, so she decided not to try her luck with denying having received the letter, and just prayed to whoever deity listening that the subject wouldn't come up. Fat chance!

Filia quickly glanced to Zel, and smiled almost apologetically at him, and this was where Amelia knew that the shit would hit the fan.

"I see Orin is leaving.." Filia started, trying to keep Amelia's gaze, but failing to do so, as she apparently found anything else in the room far more interesting than the golden dragoness.

"Yes." Amelia said, her voice thin. "I decided to call it off."

Filia took a shaky breath, apparently getting herself ready to tear up the party.

"Because of Zelgadis?" Filia asked, her eyes still fixed on Amelia, and almost rudely pretending Zel wasn't there. To be fair, it was better that way. He had a distinct feeling that this was actually a private conversation between the two girls, and that his presence was only tolerated due to his position as guard.

Amelia nodded, still not meeting Filia's brilliant eyes. Zel knew something was wrong. Hadn't she said she was afraid Filia wouldn't turn up at all? Hadn't she asked for her the very evening before? Hadn't she been worried? What the heck was going on?

"But you know you're playing right into their trap?!" Filia's voice was not outraged, only overly concerned, and slightly disappointed.

Amelia just nodded.

This was where Zel figured this concerned him enough to at least have some right to know what the heck was going on. So he spoke up.

"Playing right into whose trap?" Zel said, not liking where it was going. This was obviously one of these questions where he had an idea about what the answer would be, and a certain feeling he wouldn't like it. But he couldn't help but asking it anyways.

When Filia met his eyes with sorrow-filled ones and her fangs digging into her lower lip, he knew he was right on the money.

"The alliance between prince Orin and Amelia... The Mazoku feared their union. So they set out to separate them... ending up using Lina, and in turn, you." She said, obviously trying to keep her voice even.

Zel was positive he'd just been struck by lightning. He'd been used.. by the Mazoku.. to ruin Amelia's relationship.. and hence the prosperous future that had awaited them and their countries. A future apparently so bright that the Mazoku had resorted to a rather clever, but risky plan. And they'd played right into it.

His eyes darted to Amelia's bowed head, hoping that she'd somehow come up with a convincing explanation, excuse, lie, ANYTHING. But her silence confirmed that it really was the case.

The urge to flee that had been magically misplaced and missing within him for the last many days was suddenly found, and flee he did. Alone in the room stood a broken-hearted Amelia and a very confused and sad dragoness.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

When she exited the castle, Filia felt strangely empty. It was still a mystery to her how she'd managed to escape and that still worried her thoughts somewhat, but she'd thought that telling Amelia would somehow make her feel relieved. When she heard the sizzle behind her, she didn't even spin around to meet his gloating with an open face. It didn't matter if he made fun of her. It wasn't like she'd anything to say in her defence.

"So... Was it worth it?" he asked. His tone of voice took her by surprise. He was simply asking her the questions, no smug or sly tones to it. Like he was genuinely wondering if she thought it'd been the right choice.

Well, she didn't. It hadn't been worth it, but was she going to give him the satisfaction of hearing her saying it?

Apparently.

"No." She answered.

Her voice threatening to reveal that she was close to breaking down crying. This wasn't at all what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to have saved Amelia from an evil scheme, not to cause her sadness.

The more she thought about it, the more she realised that this was a mistake. If Amelia and Zelgadis had found their way into a relationship together on their own, she'd been the first to congratulate them. It pained her, but the only reason why she'd been against the idea of Amelia breaking up with Orin had been because the damn Namagomi had been for it! Just like he'd said. She'd always take the opposite side, no matter what it was.

Not really good with handling self-blame, she reached for Mace-sama and swung it at the damned trickster.

"And this is all your fault!" she screamed, fighting to go into a hysterical rage, to just forget about all of it. Of course, whenever she did that, she'd be too unfocused to even have a chance to harm him.

He phased out, and as he reappeared in front of her, again too close for comfort, he didn't look smug at all. "Too close for comfort" was perhaps a wrong term to use, because as she broke down crying, him wrapping his arms around her and hugging her into a tender embrace proved that he was exactly close enough for comfort.

"You're probably enjoying this, you bastard!" she wailed into his shoulder. She could feel him shake his head reluctantly.

"I must admit that I let you escape because I was expecting you to do exactly this." He admitted, stroking her hair. "And it was also according to my plan that the poor princess would end up with no one at all... But although the pain in the city of light is marvellously plentiful... I never expected this sweet victory to taste so... bitter."

She looked up at him, blinking away a few tears, to see him clearer. Her disbelief was evident. His tone had been wondering, surprised, but honest. Something in-between a child's disappointment and genuine regret was marring both his tone and face, and he was looking at the castle, as if it was a stage upon which the players somehow had failed to play their parts right.

"So... You admit you were wrong?!" she asked, incredulity making her voice crack.

It broke his thoughtful moment, and he looked back down on her, a smug smile tugging the corners of his mouth, but his eyes still honest.

"You admitted you were, and I'd hate to give you any reason to think, that you're a greater person than I am." He said, his tone again superior and playful. "So in a show of my greatness, I'll admit that yes, I was wrong."

It did nothing to piss her off, instead cheering her up a bit enough to smile at him and push herself away from him in an almost playful manner. She wondered if that was what he'd been aiming for with the statement, or if she was just close enough to see that he was only teasing her.

The mood, however, quickly dropped again as she came back to reality. So he'd admitted that he was wrong too, fine, but that didn't change the fact that the two of them between them just had managed to ruin both of Amelia's prospective loves.

"I can't believe this is happening!" Filia could feel her lower lip quiver, and tried to stop it by digging her fangs into it. It didn't help much, only made the pressing tears tickle something behind her nose and sting her eyes. Xellos turned, either to look at the castle entirely, or to give her some privacy to cry.

"Well, I'm willing to settle for my initial plan of seeing Rezo's glorious blood in the Sailrune line of heirs." Xellos said, trying to sound more scheming than compassionate. That only earned him a little smile from the dragoness. "He hasn't left yet. If we could somehow prevent him from doing so..." he said, musing. "If they could just have a talk about this. Amelia had already made up her mind about how she felt about being used by Mazoku in this particular case..."

"Forcing him won't work. I saw the look in his eyes." Filia said, through sobs. "I think I know what he felt. Like he was responsible for the entire situation. Like the world would have been better off without him... Forcing him will only make him distance himself more from her."

Xellos looked at her with the "well you're not being much of a help here" –stare. She wrecked her brain to think of anything they could do that could delay the chimera's departure.

Then it struck her.

"Oh! I got it!"

And when Xellos heard her plan, he had to admit that she really did have it.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

When the new parents heard of all of this, Lina threw one of her legendary fits, making all the healers and midwives wonder how she had managed to preserve so much energy. Thankfully, she didn't have energy enough to back the fit up with some really high-level spells, so the castle was only marginally damaged.

But it still got the chimera's attention when he heard something explode in the west-wing, and somebody shouting his name. After a while, she simmered down, and couldn't be heard in the hallways anymore.

He wouldn't have been there to hear her at all, if bad luck hadn't struck. Again. He'd initially wanted to return the bracelet to Amelia, and had eventually done so. But now that he was leaving for good, he figured he needed it back, or he'd go crazy.

He knew exactly where she'd put it, and luck had been on his side that far, because she was apparently with her father and their guards, somehow trying to make a substitute guard-program for her. He scoffed at the idea. If that was all the protection they could offer, then Amelia would be better off without them. She was far more capable than any of the palace guards. Besides, somebody else guarding her like he had, somebody taking his place... the thought didn't sit well with him at all, but he bit it back down. There was really nothing that could be done about it.

While she was out of her room, he'd snug in. However, the damned thing wasn't there. He'd already packed all of his stuff and was ready to take off, but the bracelet..

She wasn't wearing it, as far as he could remember.

The only thing he could think of was that somebody had taken it. But who, and for what reason.

Wandering down the hall towards the exit of the wing, he got his answer. Gourry stood at the end of the hallway, his sword drawn in one hand and in the other the bracelet. Zel wondered how the heck he'd gotten it, and even why, but when he looked at Gourry's face, he knew the dim swordsman knew the significance of the item he was holding.

"Gourry." He greeted, searching his face for clues as to what the general attitude towards him was. He wouldn't be surprised, nor disappointed, if the swordsman and the sorceress had decided to side with Amelia in all of this.

"Zel." Gourry greeted back. "You're leaving?"

The chimera nodded.

"Can I have that bracelet?" he asked, hoping it would be this easy, but not really expecting it.

"Nope." The blonde returned, looking from the chimera to the bracelet and back again. "Lina told me to stop you, with force if I had to. And Xellos told me to hold on to this like my life depended on it, or something like that."

Zel felt his stomach flip over in an entirely unpleasant way by the mentioning of Xellos' name. Surely this was one of the Mazoku's latest attempts to manipulate him, only Gourry was too honest not to tell, and hence gave away the plan. It only made it all the more vital for him to get away.

But as he looked at the bracelet, he found he couldn't just leave without it. He somehow had to convince Gorry to part with it... Or take it from him? He only considered it for a second. Even if he ever would raise his sword against a friend again, he'd be downright stupid to do so against Gourry. No way he'd get the bracelet from him and walk away.

"Gourry, I need the bracelet." He tried. He wouldn't resort to begging... yet.

"Well, then you need to stay." The swordsman said, as if stating the obvious. "Because it ain't leaving this castle!"

Zel's eyes narrowed, and he wondered if the swordsman really was referring to the bracelet. Then again, it was Gourry, after all.

"I can't stay." He tried, and hoped Gourry would realise this obvious truth.

"Yes you can. You promised just this morning to protect Amelia as long as she'd need you." Gourry returned as he took a step forward, his tone actually a little scolding.

Zelgadis felt his heart sink. Yes he had promised that. He couldn't say that he wished he hadn't, but he _could_ say he wished their situation had been different.

"You don't see. I obviously serve Amelia and Sailrune better by not being here at all. I protect her better by being absent." He stated, his voice thin with regret. "I managed to ruin her relationship with Orin, to spoil her wedding and send Sailrune into a diplomatic pinch. And I even managed to play into a Mazoku scheme. I've no right to be here, Gourry."

"But Amelia wants you here, and Phil gave his permission too!" Gourry argued, obviously not understanding how one could have the prince's permission to stay but, somehow still lacking the right to. He'd sheathed his sword, but was walking to stand on Zel's right side.

"I'll just make things worse." Zel said, turning to face him with a pained face. "I can't believe I didn't think of this before. And if I stayed I'd only be getting Amelia's hopes up. She's better off with me far, far away, where I can't ruin her life, and so that she might get over... this.. whatever it is. It'd be better for me, too.."

He sighed deeply and wondered momentarily why the heck he hadn't left earlier. It wasn't like he hadn't seen the warning signs. He'd only chosen to ignore them. Why was that, he wondered. He knew something was happening, and he'd let it. Why? Was he just that evil at heart?

"I don't get it. I thought you loved Amelia?" Gourry sounded confused and even though he looked at Zelgadis, it seemed like he was more asking himself than the blue chimera.

"Love her?... I don't lo.." Zel turned to look at the swordsman, and then looked to the side, running a hand through his wirery hair. He found that he couldn't actually complete that sentence while looking the swordsman in the eyes. Even after looking away, he didn't feel like saying it. "Look, Gourry... love is such a complicated thing." He settled for that and hoped it'd end the conversation.

"Seems pretty simple to me!" Gourry claimed. "It's just all about finding somebody you really wanna protect, and then stick with 'em!" Gourry said, lighting up in a smile. "I thought you'd already chosen one to protect. I mean, you've often 'nuff jumped to Amelia's rescue, and all. I think that was why Lina was so pissed at you. 'Cause we all thought you'd chosen her to protect.."

The chimera looked at him, dumbfound. It wasn't that simple at all. Was it?

Not arguing any further, and obviously feeling he'd said what he wanted to, the swordsman handed the bracelet to the chimera. As he left the room Gourry closed the doors behind him. It was only then that Zel realised that Gourry had somehow backed him into the library, without him realising it. As he looked around, everything looked exactly the way they had when he'd left long ago, with only slight modifications, that was entirely swallowed by the light and ambience which remained the same.

Had it been a coincidence that he'd ended up in this room? He didn't know, and wasn't really sure he'd ever know. He walked to the bookshelf holding the book he'd been reading in that night two years ago. It'd been the last one he'd needed to check.

As he took it out, opening it and slamming it shut again, he could not recollect what the heck he'd been thinking back then. And yet it seemed like it was clear to him for the very first time.

He'd loved Amelia. Loved her enough to leave her. Because he really didn't have anything to offer her, and she really was better off without him. And here he was again. And still didn't have anything to offer her... and she still...

He didn't know how long he'd been standing there, book in hand, just staring at the cover and putting together the confusing and scattered pieces of the puzzle that was his emotional history.

A startling slam of the door brutally snapped him out of his thoughts. It'd been opened with such force that he was for a moment wondering if it'd been kicked open. Standing at the entrance to the library was Amelia. Again almost wearing a nightgown. By almost meaning that the parts that weren't transparent were still way too short. She marched into the room, defiantly holding his gaze as she approached.

"I couldn't sleep!" she stated, her teeth clenched, not even trying to make it sound convincing.

Zelgadis knew this would be bad.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**AN:** Cliffie? Well, I'm not really sure. But I'm working on the last chapter. I initially set out to ending it with ten chapters. I guess you could say it's ending here. Or you could stay tuned for the sappy and fluffy ending. All up to you.

This was rather sappy, I think, and I have a real problem turning a series I love so much into something more dramatic and realistic (and sappy) that it isn't! So just so you know, I don't live in the naïve belief that it's In Character. But it was still damn fun making. :D

I made a self-portrait of how I felt after doing the majority of this fic:

http : (slash slash) themadbatter . deviantart . com (slash) art (slash) The-sappy-leeches-95030060

Fill out all the blanks with the designated sign and remove the spaces.

I think it turned out pretty representative of my state. :D

See you soon. :D


	11. Real roses have thorns

**AN:** There. Took me a good while longer than I expected. At first I figured, okay, let's do this nice and neat and sappy. Then my fluffbunnies were raped by plotbunnies and turned into an awful lot of smutbunnies. THEN I spend the last couple of months of sparse spare time to kill off most of the little critters, and this is what you get. ;) So if you dislike part of it, skip it. ;) And be grateful: It was a lot worse before. Enjoy.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

_A startling slam of the door brutally snapped him out of his thoughts. It'd been opened with such force that he was for a moment wondering if it'd been kicked open. Standing at the entrance to the library was Amelia. Again almost wearing a nightgown. By almost meaning that the parts that weren't transparent were still way too short. She marched into the room, defiantly holding his gaze as she approached._

"_I couldn't sleep!" she stated, her teeth clenched, not even trying to make it sound convincing._

_Zelgadis knew this would be bad._

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

As she marched into the room, he found himself walking backwards, away from her, like he was a receding shadow, fleeing from her light. When she stopped, he regained himself and a little of his dignity, also now standing his ground. He had really hoped to make a clean getaway before something like this happened.

Flashbacks danced before his eyes, and he knew that he invariably would re-live the pain of making some of the same bad calls he had back then. He wasn't good with these kinds of situations, whatever they were, and his newfound insight into his own emotions would not make it any easier for him.

She stepped forward, slowly but determined, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"You're leaving?" she asked, her voice almost formal. It was an echo of Gourry's question, more or less.

He looked at her, trying to find the courage to confirm it, but silence seemed to serve the purpose just as well. It pained him to see her again. He hated that he'd have to say goodbye to her face. He wasn't even sure he could, but he'd have to, wouldn't he? She'd be better off without him, even if that meant that somebody less efficient would have to take his place as her guard.

First then did it strike him and he scanned the room. There were no guards on her tail. She seemed to catch the searching look in his eyes, and replied his unuttered question.

"I put a sleep spell on them." She said, before her mouth quirked in an almost wry smile. "A lot easier to do to them than to you. I doubt I could be able to sleep-spell you now."

It unnerved him somehow. Also the mere fact that they'd fallen victim to this. They'd be no protection to her, just like he'd figured.

"Why would you want to do that anyway?" he asked, genuinely wondering what good it would do either of them to stop him with sleep.

"It would be my best bet at deterring you..." she trailed off.

"And why would you want to delay my departure, princess?" he didn't know why he was really asking, but at the very least he was able to keep some sort of formal distance, which would probably ease the situation a little.

"There's something I have to know before you leave." She said.

Zel wasn't sure he liked where this was going. Without realising, he took a small step back from her. Like this insignificant little "head-start" would make it any more plausible that he'd be able to flee from the situation. But he would have to, if she wouldn't let him go voluntarily. He couldn't stay, so if that was what she was going to ask him, then... Then again, she seemed more determined than naive as she stood there, raised chin and keeping her eyes fixed on his.

"I want to know how you feel about me!" She demanded, her voice and gaze strong.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"She's being unusually straightforward tonight, isn't she?" Xellos asked his goldhaired companion. They were floating outside the castle in a bubble, that Xellos had guaranteed wouldn't be visible to anyone.

"Are you absolutely sure they can't sense us? We'd never hear the last of it!" Filia asked, a bit concerned. She hated to stoop to this, but it had mainly been her and the Namagomi's fault that these two birds weren't lovebirds. She felt like it was her responsibility to set it right. Why Xellos was agreeing to help her she had no idea. Not that it mattered now.

"If they can detect us, they deserve the right to torturing us with it for the rest of their lives." Xellos assured her. "As far as observations go, this thing is foolproof! Now let's just hope that observation is all we'll have to do tonight."

"You don't really believe that, do you?" she asked.

Xellos opened his eyes to first take a good look at the dragon before him, and then turn them to the scene in the palace.

"That depends a lot on how determined she really is.. And on how much of a selfish coward he really is." He said, his tone musing.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Zelgadis ran his hand over his face. Why this. Why now of all times. What good could possible come by waddling around in some self-pity-ish reminiscence of what could never be? Well, it couldn't be because she was actually curious. He'd been so obvious that both Lina and Gourry and L-sama only knew who else had seen right through him. Amelia could read him like an open book, and almost always knew what he was thinking. Surely she knew too.

"You know how I feel." He said, dismissingly, and looked at her. He figured that if he held her gaze long enough she'd see the obvious pain behind his eyes, and have mercy on him, not further pursuing the subject. She did look at him, and he was certain she did see the pain. But mercy was nowhere in sight.

"Yes, but I need to hear you say it." She insisted, her voice oddly unfeeling.

When had she turned so cold and bitter, he wondered. Then a nagging feeling told him that he might be the cause. But why would she drag him through this. It wouldn't change anything! It would only make it worse!

"What difference would it make?!" he almost growled, turning not to look at her. He couldn't bear the sight anymore. It wasn't like he didn't want to stay. In fact, after his talk with Gourry, it'd become painfully obvious why he wanted to stay. He decided his tone had been too harsh, and felt like explaining himself. "It's not like it's going to change anything."

"It might not to you." She said, and against his will he turned to look at her, wondering what the heck she meant. "But maybe the reason why I can't get over you is that I've never been properly rejected."

Rejected... Wait! Rejected? It was like his mind had been half asleep and now woke to a word, which seemed entirely out of context, or at least the context it had followed up until the point where it'd fallen asleep. Had he missed something? Where did the rejection come into the picture?

He looked at her, scanning her face for clues. It looked, though, as if she was serious about it, and as if it had direct connection to the question of his feelings. She didn't really think that he… would reject her, did she? Then again, she had said that she knew he didn't love her, to Orin and the rest of the involved parties, just this morning. Unless she'd somehow grown wiser during the chaotic afternoon, he guessed she still suffered from that blatant misconception.

"Please, just tell me." She repeated the request. "I can take it."

He blinked. Well, apart from making the entire scene somehow into one big, ironic joke on him, things had just turned complicated. He'd assumed that her acceptance of his departure was due to some realisation that they really couldn't be together anyways, even if they both wanted it. But if she knew what he really felt... She might not be so responsible about it. Amelia's view of what defined justice had always had this bad tendency to switch with what served her best currently.

But somehow he wanted her to know. At the very least he didn't want to lie to her. His thoughts battled back and forth, his heart insistently butting into the debate, making him want to tell her, but there was a nagging at his conscience that spoke louder.

_Come on_, it urged. _Do the selfless thing for once and lie for her sake! It's not like you haven't told that lie before, to yourself and others. Just say it. _It proved to be easier said than done, or more correctly thought than said. She looked at him with such honest but strong eyes. Her chin was slightly tilted upwards, giving her an air of determination. He figured she was steeling herself for the upcoming rejection.

But she waited in vain, because it just wasn't coming.

"Tell me what you feel for me!" She insisted. "I won't let you leave before you do!"

It was no longer a request. It was a demand. An order.

_Say you don't love her. Give her a chance to start over! _His thoughts churned, and he opened his mouth to say just that. But no words came. He felt like an idiot, and closed it again. _Tell this lie the one time it matters!_ They shouted at him. _Come on!_

It didn't help.

She slammed her foot down, her fists forming at her side, and she made a perfect image of your classic marvellously angry beauty right there in front of him. He couldn't tear his eyes from hers, and he figured if he lied, she'd see as easily through him as he had seen through her three years ago.. And every other attempt on lying she'd made in front of him.

"Just tell me you don't love me, Zelgadis!" she shrieked. "Say it with your own words, and be over with it! Don't try to spare my feelings or leave me with any doubt, because then I'll only start wondering if things could have been different!"

She had a point, and he was selfish for not granting her request.

But he couldn't even form the words in front of Gourry before he'd himself realised they were untrue, so how was he supposed to tell them to her, now that he knew it was nothing but a sad and unconvincing lie.

"I can't tell you that." He said, in full consistency with the truth. However, the expression on her face told him that she'd yet to pick up what he meant by that.

Thankfully Amelia had a long way to go before she was even figuring on the Lina-scale of tantrums, but her eyes were filled with wrath and were beginning to glow with the fire of Justice! To be fair, he felt like he deserved to be called a villain, and deserved anything she could throw at him in general.

She had asked for so little. Just to be refused properly. And he couldn't even grant her that.

"Why not?" She stepped forward, but her strides were no longer confident and determined, but betrayed and upset. Like she would break down any minute now. He could almost read her thoughts right off her eyes: "Does he think so little of me that I don't even deserve to have a proper refusal?" they said to him. For the shortest of seconds he genuinely considered if he should have just left it there. If he couldn't lie to her, he could at least have the decency to allow her to assume the worst.

However, he was feeling as selfish as ever, and he couldn't stand the thought of being misunderstood again. Not by her. As she moved closer to him, he found his eyes drifting to fixate themselves on the strap of her nightgown, that had slipped down her shoulder.. again.

"Why not?!" she repeated, her voice cracking.

He took a deep breath. This wouldn't make it easier for any of them. He'd better just be saying it and leaving.

"Because it would be entirely untrue."

He'd hoped that she'd be so stunned that he'd had a fair chance to dash for the door, but apparently, she had caught on fast enough to that idea, that she'd also managed to catch on to his sleeve. Dammit. He looked at her eyes, and found a whole cocktail of mixed emotions shining through them.

"I told you not to spare my emotions!" she said, almost insulted, but her voice gave away her doubt in the statement and the hope that he'd deny it. A single tear started to spill down her cheek. It was silently followed by another one. He had to give her credit that she'd held up pretty good so far.

"Believe me, I'm not. If I were to spare your emotions, then I would've lied." He said, honestly. This wouldn't make it any easier for either of them. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realise, Amelia, but I do love you." He would have thought it would be harder to say. It'd been so hard thinking it, but now the words just fell from his tongue without any problem at all, like they'd been there, all along, wanting to be said for the longest of times. It just seemed so unreal to hear himself say it.

He turned to face the window, hoping that he'd be able to at least make a run for that, if she wouldn't let him past her for the door. Then again, he could always force her to let him pass. The flashback came inevitably. He'd thought the same back then. All in all, their situation hadn't changed.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Alright Zel!" Filia cheered, although she felt slightly bad for spying on their private moment. However, they were there to intervene if things went the wrong way. And you couldn't very well do that if you didn't know what the heck was going on.

She snuck a glance at Xellos, who was looking pale and strained. She looked at him quizzically. If she looked really closely, she could see his upper lip twitch with what seemed like pain.

"You alright, Xellos?" she said, and hated herself for both sounding and being worried.

"I'll be fine in a minute!" he managed to force out. He took a deep breath. "Just a little overwhelmed by the positive emotions.. It'll go away soon."

Filia decided against pursuing the subject any further. He obviously had some kind of pride, warped as it was. She'd let him keep it.

"Let's just hope that it isn't because the mood shifts." She said, and made a mental aim at Zel as he stood, facing the window. If he made as much as one more step towards it...

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Again, a myriad of questions swirled through Amelia's mind and danced over her glassy eyes. She was wondering if he meant what she thought he meant, like he loved her as more than just a friend. She was wondering for how long he'd meant it. She was wondering why the heck he hadn't said. She was wondering how to handle it. But the only question that surfaced as words was the one really important to the current situation. If she didn't know the answer to that one, the rest would never be asked.

"Then why are you leaving?" she asked, her voice betraying her, almost shrill with the last words. "If you really did love me, you wouldn't be able to leave me this easily! Just admit that you don't really care!"

Zel felt the guilt kick him in the sides with each word she said. It didn't make him feel downright guilty, though, only misunderstood.. and angry. He could feel his fist starting to shake with that anger, and he was pretty sure she noticed too. But when a pair of rather unmotivated fists slapped against his turned back, he realised that she genuinely thought she was the one being wronged here. This realisation fed his feeling of being misunderstood, which in turn fed his anger. Having had enough of it, he spun around, catching both her wrists and stopping her almost hysterical attacks. The combined action of lifting her slightly by her wrists, and lowering himself a little made their faces align, hers red with tears, his with anger.

"Who says this is easy?!!" he all but shouted in her face. "It sure wasn't easy the first time around, I'll doubt it'll hurt less this time! But it's because I love you that I am able to leave you. It's because I love you that I must!"

She looked at him, not scared, but disbelieving and slightly angry.

"You're leaving me because you love me?!" she hissed. "What kind of warped logic is that!?"

"The logic that'll keep you safe!" he cut her off, his voice slightly raised, but nowhere near the level before.

"Safe from what!?" she hissed back.

Had she forgotten, or had she just chose to ignore it, he wondered.

"The Mazoku scheme!" he returned. "We wouldn't be in this mess at all if it wasn't for their little scheme! I wouldn't have returned, you wouldn't have fallen for me again and-"

"Then for once I'm thankful of them!" she rebuked, her tone uncharacteristically stubborn. As she hung there, by her wrists, the action of arguing had brought her face even closer to his, and he found himself both calmed an excited at the feel and smell of her breath against his lips. Without realising it, he leaned in, their noses almost touching.

"You don' mean that." he insisted, softly now, but when he saw her look, he figured that she did. He retracted himself a little from her, putting some distance between them, but still holding on to her wrists. He needed her closeness, but he couldn't be mad at her if she was this close. However, at half an arm's length, he could find his indignation again, and continued. "You're falling right into their trap! You were even warned in advance that this was nothing but an evil plot to throw you and Sailrune into ruin. You could've avoided all of this if you'd just heeded the warning and told me to get away from you sooner!" He didn't mean to sound blaming, but did so anyways. It reflected how he truly felt. If she'd just thrown him out when she'd gotten Filia's letter, there'd been a chance that he wouldn't have realised that he loved her, or that her feelings wouldn't have evolved to the point where she'd give up on Orin. "Why didn't you listen to Filia's letter?"

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Said dragon didn't even need to look at Xellos to know the smug and half-blaming smile his face was plastered with. Yes, alright, so it had ultimately been her that'd managed to screw the situation up. But how was she supposed to know that it wasn't just all evil plots and malicious intentions?! Nobody ever told her what was really going on!

The least thing she could do now was to help cleaning up the mess she'd created.

"As delicious as this little meal of self-blame and self-pity is, especially coming from you, Filia-san, I must remind you that we're fixing the problem, so don't let it get to you now." He said, and she looked at him in disbelief. He was.. comforting her? "Who knows? We might need your brutal strength and violent temper to trash the entire city if this really hits the fan!"

He smiled the smug and annoying smile, but she couldn't find it in herself to shout at him, even though it was probably the reaction he was angling for. No he was right. They were fixing it. She'd see to that this was fixed properly.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Why didn't I heed Filia's warning?" Amelia asked, almost rhetorically. "I chose to ignore it," she started out slowly, and softly, with a heavy breath that tickled his chin. "..because it wasn't what I wanted. It's got nothing to do with being tricked into taking another course of action." Her voice carried that distinct waiver that indicated the depths of the emotion behind it. "Lina endangered the entire universe by choosing to run along with Phebrizzo's plan, just to save Gourry. I'd do the same for you. We both agree that Lina did the right thing. I'm not even endangering nearly as much. We don't even know for sure that their plan is evil!"

Zel gave her a measuring but sarcastic look.

"No, listen. If Orin and I had become the rulers of Sailrune, everything would have been swallowed by the light. Maybe, just maybe, all the Mazoku wanted was to keep the balance."

He listened, and weighted her words. They made sense, but then so did a lot of things that had later turned out to be wrong. Horribly wrong. She could see him waver, and decided to back up her point:

"Because if they wanted to throw Sailrune into darkness, it would've been easier to just kill me, which some of them have tried to!"

"And then they'd been promptly exterminated, the lot of them, by me, Lina and Gourry. Not to mention Filia. Besides, I don't think they seriously wanted you dead. The attacks on you were probably staged to mask their real interest, or to... push things along.." He didn't look at her when he said the last.

Amelia looked at him, her cheeks taking on a slightly rosy colour out of their own volition. But at the very least she had the guts to look at him. Invariably she thought of all the situations where a little disturbance had set things in motion. Then again, they'd been moving fine on their own, and at least Xellos had been known to be responsible for at least one or two very important situations that'd been interrupted.

"I think they wanted you to chase Orin away. But I don't think they wanted us to end up together. Otherwise, why would Xellos, who was probably the only person that knew we were in your room, changing, lead Orin there to interrupt us?" she had said it so effortlessly that she hadn't really thought about what the statements unspoken message was.

"You're implying something would've happened.." he said, picking up on it, and now looking at her, although not directly. He was internally debating whether it would be wise to just let her go. She'd probably not begin to attack him again, it would probably be a lot easier to talk about this kind of thing without her this close, so..

Yes, it would be wiser. No, he wasn't going to. He didn't feel very wise tonight.

"Well..." she started, slightly blushing. It was a bit presumptuous of her, she had to admit. Just because she'd wanted something to happen didn't naturally entail that he would or would have allowed it to. "Don't you think that some of the situations would've.. you know..."

"Escalated?" he finished for her, but his face wasn't the mask if indifference he wanted it to be. Maybe he should have let her go. He found he couldn't. "I would like to think that we would've been sensible enough not to pursue anything so foolish."

She looked at him. She could see the conflict in his eyes, and almost felt sorry for him. No, she did feel sorry for him. It was so much harder on him, because he hadn't made his mind up on the matter. She, on the other hand, had.

"Love is not foolish!" She objected. This at least had to be made clear. "I wouldn't have regretted a thing."

Naïve as the statement was, he could still feel the sweetness of the remark seep into his being. But she had to understand! Perhaps love wasn't foolish, but he was! He'd start making moves on her sooner or later if she kept announcing her love for him like that. He'd scare her away, he just knew it. If he wouldn't seriously injure her before then.

"It's easy for you to say, Princess, but I seriously doubt you'd feel the same if it ever went beyond platonic love or feelings of deep friendship!" he insisted, his voice a bit strained. "And if those situations' had escalated, it would have."

He wished it had come out a bit more menacing and a lot less sultry. Because really it was. If things had progressed between them, she'd not only have to endure the mental consequences of him being a monster, but the physical ones as well. And while he would be happy to admit that Amelia might be strong, he just wasn't about to let her have to live through that. He was pretty certain she hadn't thought of it.

She probably only thought as far as the platonic stage, which would've been fine if she hadn't been so damn attractive and he hadn't deep down still been a man. Which he yet again was reminded of when he fought his eyes to remain on hers, or to prevent his body from leaning in on her. But she was attracting him still, even in this situation where there really were no decision to be had, where he thought he'd already made up his mind. She attracted him still.

"What if I wanted it to?" she asked, almost more daring than flirting. Then again, she'd never been much of a flirt, but Amelia was stubborn and hard-headed when it came to certain things.

Zel growled deep in the back of his throat. A growing part of him was more than willing to believe her, but he just couldn't bring his mind to do so. She was talking about something else, again. She'd misunderstood him, again. That _had_ to be it.

"You don't realise what it entails!" he insisted, but to his huge regret, she only countered that one with a defiant look, a raised chin and her ensuing "Try me!" statement that echoed ever so wrongly in his head. He could feel his body rise to that particular challenge, and fought to keep it under control. The feeling was very much akin to trying to hold on to a thousand small pearls. The moment your attention was slipping from one area, the more pearls were falling out of your grasp another. He tried to keep his crotch from going anywhere near her lower regions, much to his growing erections dismay, only to find that he'd unconsciously moved his head closer to her, probably in order to keep his centre of balance, without shifting his feet. He hadn't noticed, at least not really, until her breath mingled with his, and he could feel her nose slightly shifting against his, so that her lips could brush his lower lip ever so slightly. For the life of him he couldn't get himself to break the moment, nor even to close his mouth.

"I love you, I accept you and I want you, in every possible meanings of those words!" she whispered, almost no voice at all involved, as her lips and breath tickled his.

All the pearls shattered to the floor and he forgot why he'd even tried to hold on to them. He immediately let go of her hands and grabbed her, one hand around her upper back, another around the back of her head. Their lips crashed together in an almost feverish kiss, and he was throughoutly pleased when she responded by parting her lips, and fisting her hands in his wire-hair, carefully but forcefully.

On its own volition, the hand on her upper back dove south and came to rest on the small of her back. As the kiss deepened he pulled her flush against him, and she responded with pressing her every curve against every plane of his body. His mouth sought her chin and neck, to leave some heated kisses there as well. Amelia's pleasured mewls increased as he went, and she twisted herself to give him further access to her throat, not at all disturbed by the fact that last time he'd had her up against a wall in this room, in a similar situation, he'd bitten down on her shoulder instead of kissing her senseless.

He instinctually started rocking slightly against her, in time with the pulsation of their heated kisses and the blood pumping in his ears. She raised herself to her toes and lifted one leg, wrapping it around his, for leverage. It brought her face more at the same level as his, which were a plus, but more importantly, it made her crotch align nicely with his. The hand on her back slid down, cupping her rear, giving it an experimental squeeze, and hoisting her further up against him. Her moans drowned in his mouth, as she almost broke off the kiss, gasping for air. As he experimentally rolled his hips against her, her back snapped, arching, and she tilted her head back. This was possibly the most erotic sight he'd ever seen, or even imagined. And after waking in on her pleasing herself, his mind had been imagining quite a lot, lately. He gave another roll, grinding his erection against her core, and was rewarded with another deep moan.

He couldn't recall the last time he'd been this aroused. Possibly never. Zel had never been one to touch himself much. When you lived in a body that you absolutely hated, there was little point in it. First of all, it would seem like you lost to it, and Zel couldn't allow himself that. Even when he'd been human it'd been something he'd been ashamed of. He'd always tried to keep his body-reactions in check. Eventually, though, like every other male, the frustration would gather to such a degree, that no amount of cold showers could do the trick. It was on such off-occasions where sexual frustrations clouded his mind and judgement, and he couldn't just ignore it away, he'd succumbed to self-pleasure. Even then, the feeling of disgust clearly overwrote the feeling of pleasure.

But this oddly enough didn't feel anything like that. The pleasure was pure, raw and overwhelming. This felt so oddly right. With each grind against her he felt himself loose himself more and more to the feeling. He hadn't noticed he'd increased the pace, nor the strength at which he thrust up against her; the only thing he had noticed was how good it felt and how much her increasingly loud moans excited him.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Alright, show's over, Namagomi!" Filia said, determined, her cheeks radiating heat in the cold night air. They shouldn't be watching any further. It'd been wrong enough up until this point. Now it was just downright perverted.

Xellos grabbed her elbow as she turned in the air to leave.

"Not quite yet, Filia-san." He said, his voice carrying an edge to it she couldn't decipher.

"You're seriously too low, Namagomi!" she hissed, and shot him a glare, that was a bit disarmed by the fact that her cheeks were beet read. "You won't drag me into your perverted little voyeuristic games!"

"You're wrong again, little, selfish, prudish dragon. This battle has not yet been won." His voice seemed odd, somehow.

Her first thought was that he was teasing her, testing her. After all, she was a prude, she had to admit that even to herself. But then she wondered if he sounded a bit embarrassed himself. After all, both parties involved had declared their love for each other and were now wholeheartedly engaged in some mating-rituals; who wouldn't be embarrassed a bit by watching that? She took a good look at him, as his eyes stayed fixed on the situation at hand. He didn't look embarrassed, nor did he look like their feelings pained him any longer; he just looked concentrated. Almost as if he was expecting something to happen. Like he knew there was a chink in the armour, and now he was just waiting to see if it actually made the damn thing split.

"What can possibly go wrong from here on out?" she insisted on knowing, not really sure where she felt less embarrassed keeping her eyes; on them or on him. The question was embarrassing too. She'd no firsthand experience with situations like that, and she hated to admit that, even indirectly, and especially to him! Honestly she'd no idea where it usually went from there. For all she could tell, potential wedding bells were chiming! But Xellos didn't seem as certain.

"Plenty." He stated, and looked at the couple in front of them with narrowed eyes. "First of all, it's going too fast."

Filia dared a glance at the couple. They didn't waste time, that was for sure, but still.

"I doubt he'll be able to scare her away. She might be inexperienced, but she's far from being as naïve as he thinks. She's a healthy young woman, with healthy.. needs." Filia said, positively flustered, somehow hoping it would convince the damn Mazoku that their job here was done.

To her surprise, Xellos looked almost sheepishly at her and scratched his chin, both of his eyes closed in his usual expression.

"Well, I was thinking more of Zel bolting out of there any second now." He said, and already sounded like he was trying to avoid a subject.

Her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"Why would he do that?" She sneaked another peek at them out of the corner of her eyes. He didn't exactly look like anybody who was going anywhere at the moment. In fact she'd never seen the chimera allowing himself to be so out of control, so raw, so human.

"Well, perhaps because his mind sooner or later might remind him that this might resemble a certain nightmare he might have had a little too much. Then he might just feel disgusted with himself because he might fear that he'll eventually end up fulfilling the rest of the nightmare, and then he might just run away..."

Filia glared at him.

"And how would you know that this resembles a nightmare that he had?" she hissed, her hand gripping for Mace-sama, but as she grabbed thin air she reminded herself that she'd left him at home, to make her levitation spell easier to keep in the long run. Bad call, apparently.

"Because I might just happen to be the one who planted it there!" he admitted, almost smilingly.

She could swear she saw red. If the nightmare was anything like the current situation, like he said it'd been, then she could imagine how it might turn from dream to nightmare, and ultimately what Zel was afraid he'd do to Amelia.

"Why would you do such a thing, Namagomi!!" she all but roared, and was thankful that the bubble probably contained some of the sound. She grabbed him by the collar, but he looked infuriatingly uncaring, and simply smiled.

"Technically I didn't plant the nightmare, as such. I simply fed him a little fear while he was sleeping, and his mind conjured it up on its own... more or less!" he didn't even look like it was anything she needed to get upset about. "It's a lot like farming, really. You sow a little of what you want to reap on a fertile field, and voila!"

"You bastard!!" she shrieked.

Her fists were ready to pound him into another dimension, but then she caught a glimpse of the situation in the library. Just like Xellos had predicted everything had gone awry.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

A moment of sheer fear had granted him the window of clarity he needed to stop and push himself away from her. Amelia looked as stunned as she looked violated. His kisses might have been welcomed, but they'd left her lips bruised and swollen never the less. Her hair was a total mess, and he could see blue marks forming where he'd left a trail of kisses down her throat. He couldn't even begin to imagine how ravaged her abdomen, hips and mound might be, where he'd held her hips tightly, and.. ground against her. The blissful feeling of letting oneself go, the pleasure of consuming her and letting himself be consumed by her, was all fading. He knew where this would end. And it wouldn't end well.

She might think that she wanted this, her body might even agree, but afterwards... He'd go berserk, just like in the dream, not caring the least bit about her, ravish her, rape her, and who in their right mind would ever forgive him for that? Let alone allow him near her again.

"Why did you push me away, Zelgadis?" she asked, and he knew that she'd not only meant the slight but abrupt physical push he'd used to put some distance between them. She took a step towards him, the movement of her hips invariably caught his eyes and he'd happily blame her for being an evil seductress, but her eyes shone with wonder and concern, not malicious or self-confident seductiveness.

Her hand reached out to gently caress his waist, and he felt his arousal strain against the cloth of his pants. Her hand curiously ventured a bit further down, cautiously dipping to flutter over the tip of it, and he felt himself involuntarily twitch. This was too much, too good. He couldn't think if she was this near, and most certainly not if she was touching him like that.

"I know you might not understand it, but..." she hesitated, as if picking her words carefully. "..I'm a grown woman.. And I.. I want this, too.." Her other hand came to rest on his chest, and the hand already stroking his lower stomach grew bold and came to outright rest on his erection, cupping him with the palm of her hand through his pants.

The air left his lungs. Amelia wasn't doing this. She couldn't be. Not out of her own volition. He was somehow manipulating her, although for the life of him, he couldn't figure out how he did it. But this was not the mental picture he had of her, and the more this picture merged with the existing one, the more he felt himself loose his determination to push her away for her own sake. She obviously wanted him, like he wanted her.

He mentally shook the thought out of his brain. He had to stop her. His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. And for a torturous long moment he battled whether he should remove her hand from him, or guide her movement.

She took his indecision as her chance to tip the scales, and gave him an experimental squeeze through the pants. He shuddered visibly, his knees slightly buckling, and he hated himself for not being able to strangle the sound before it escaped his mouth. His hand clamped down on her wrist and he shook slightly as he forcibly removed her hand. It'd felt too nice. Much too nice.

"You don't understand, Amelia!" he managed, although his breathing was heavy. He had to make her understand. If she didn't she'd keep on working against his self-control, and there was very little left of it. "This body.. My skin-"

Her free hand gently moved up and put a finger over his lips. To silence him. He looked at her, confused.

"I don't think it'll be a problem." She said, convinced, and grabbed the hand that was holding her wrist with her free one. She gently pried his fingers off her wrist, and took the hand into hers.

"But I'll hurt you.." he insisted, his voice almost inaudible.

"It always hurts the first time." She said, but even with all her confidence, she still blushed at the statement.

Now it was his turn to blush. Did he really have to carve it into stone before she understood it?.. no pun intended.

"No, Amelia..." he started, and gathered a deep breath. "I have stone-skin... Everywhere! What do you think that'll... do to you?"

She simply smiled calmly.

"I don't know, and you don't know either." She stated. She then smiled that flirtatious smile she'd become good at lately, although a bit less confident. "But we could try to find out."

He started to protest, but she was already gently moving his hand to her stomach, where she gently laid it so that his palm was on her abdomen. She then guided his hand with hers further down, almost torturously slow. Making it past the band of her panties, and down through the soft curls. He was almost deaf from the blood rushing through his body and roaring in his ears. When the hand met the folds of her womanhood, he stopped breathing and twitched.

Amelia on her part was nowhere near as confident as she seemed. What the heck was she doing? What was she proving? Was she even certain that he wasn't right? Then again she had to remind herself that his skin was smooth to the touch, and so the skin alone wouldn't be a problem. And as far as she'd heard Martina babble, there existed certain... toys for women, which were obviously all carved or crafted from rather solid materials, so...

She guided him past the outer lips and to the inner, which were, in lack of better words, soaking. She watched his reaction intently, and wondered what he thought. She was a bit nervous he'd think less of her, but had to remind herself that this was probably the only way to convince him. He was staring at her face, or perhaps at the wall behind her, pupils very small and with an almost panicked expression. Like he knew what she was going to do, feared it, but was unable to stop it. That, perhaps, wasn't so far from the truth.

She gently shifted her hands so that hers was lying on top of his. She then pressed his index-finger with hers as it came right over her opening. She forced herself to relax, and the finger slid in, the flesh yielding without any problems. She unwillingly rolled her hips on it, savouring the feeling and moaned a bit. She'd broken off the eyecontact because her eyes had fluttered shut, but when she opened them again, he was now looking at her, really looking at her, with a puzzled gaze. Not terrified, but puzzled.

"Doesn't hurt." She breathed out with a blush and a valiant attempt at a sly smile.

As if disbelieving that this could be true, he retracted the finger and gently pushed it into her again. She felt her knees giving out as the pleasure spread like ripples in the water. Funny. She'd never expected that this part would be so.. pleasurable. She'd never gotten the same results from using her own fingers like that.

"See?... No harm done." She said, her voice shaky and low. She had to tell him, although it might seem obvious. He was good at making the wrong assumptions.

"But this isn-" Zel stopped the sentence, trying very hard to find a non-awkward way of wording it. His body wasn't lending much blood to his brain, which made it decidedly more difficult. "My finger is not at all as- Amelia, there's a difference between the siz-"

"I know!" she cut him off before he could make the impeding embarrassing statement. "Try... Try adding another.." she couldn't believe she was saying it. She wanted to try it badly, but it still felt so wrong asking for that kind of thing.

Slowly he pushed in another, first just the tip. She started to clamp down on him, but eventually relaxed enough for him to ease it in. She had to admit this was a little much. But then again, it wasn't the skin that was the problem. It was the fact that she wasn't used to the feeling. Being stretched like that..

"Amelia, don't-" he started, but she managed to silence him again with a finger over his lips. She then started rocking her hips slightly. It felt strange, but good somehow. If she angled her hips a little, the fingers didn't feel so intruding. Rather, they sometimes brushed something.. something good. She was making damn sure he noticed it too. He started to catch on, eventually beginning to meet her movements with his own, pushing his fingers into her, with more force and speed.

"Your stoneskin-" she gasped, between thrust. "-is not - an issue!"

Zel was almost loosing himself. The feeling of having his fingers massaging Amelia's tight walls was overwhelming him. Consuming him. Knowing that he could please her like this almost made him lose it completely. If his stoneskin wasn't a direct issue then what the heck was keeping him from denying himself this anyways? Nothing! She wanted him, her want was seeping through his fingers, so that much was obvious, and if this didn't hurt her, well then there was no point in not letting go, was there? No point in holding back. No point in not bending her over and burring himself in her, to the hilt. No point in not ravishing her, and if she complained, well then it was her own fault for playing with the fire. He was a monster after all, and little princesses shouldn't play with monsters.

He stopped the train of thought along with his movements abruptly. That's right. His stoneskin wasn't the issue. The fact that he was an undeserving, evil and selfish monster was! Who the heck was he kidding?! What was he about to do? Did he really think he'd get away with that? So what if she wanted him now. It didn't matter. Eventually he'd hurt her, one way or another, and that was even assuming that they'd be allowed to be together in the first place! And they shouldn't be. He was a monster, and he was right now potentially serving as a Mazoku tool for Sailrune's destruction. Heavy eyelids fluttered open and Amelia looked at him through clouded eyes. He quickly withdrew his hand and stared at it in shaken disbelief. She reached out to grab his hand, but in a panic reaction he managed to push her, harshly, to the floor.

"Amelia.. Stop this! We can't be together! No matter how much you might think that others will understand and approve, they never really will. I'm sure your father wouldn't be so blind that he'd willingly let you hurt yourself like this. You deserve better. Sailrune deserves better." His voice was edging towards desperate. "I'm sorry. I made you even more confused by this... Goodbye."

She was lying on the floor, several feet from him. She'd never be able to reach him or stop him, and this was the ideal chance to flee. He was just about to, too, when his ears caught a sound. A sound of danger. And he reacted to it before he could think.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Oh no he doesn't!!" Filia exclaimed. Her cheeks were almost lighting up the night, and it wasn't all with anger, either.

"I can honestly say I agree on that." Said Xellos, his voice uncharacteristically serious, and a bit angry. They'd both worked hard to set Lina's scheme back on track. It would be wasted if Zelgadis just got away like he had intended all along. Xellos readied a spell, and took a good aim. If this was to get back on track, they'd need to nudge it a tad. He took one glance at Filia, for confirmation, and as she nodded, he hurled the spell towards the princess.

**Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

There was little doubt in Zelgadis' mind about who was behind this. The spell was easily repelled, not anything you'd expect anybody to throw as a one-shot-chance to kill the princess. This was a diversion. Or even worse, a warning-shot. It might only have been Xellos, and he might only have wanted Zel to rethink, but the statement was tearing him apart regardless. Mainly because of the two opposite statements it carried.

On the one hand, it settled once and for all that the Mazoku DID want them to end up together. They wanted his cursed blood in the Sailrune heirs. And the second message was that she'd be attacked, and most likely killed, if he left her alone. In some way they were keeping her as a hostage. He despised the thought of being manipulated, like a puppet, to stay. But then he had to remind himself that there were plenty capable people to protect Amelia, Lina being one of them. So the real problem was that he wasn't sure he'd be able to hand over the responsibility just like that.

Funny how this sudden burst of protectiveness was overwriting the lust that had clouded his mind up until this point. Normally, when his protectiveness had set in it hadn't normally directly conflicted with his more physical longing for his princess. But this time it did, and it made it stunningly clear to him that if she could just choose a proper role for him, and stick with it, then he could keep himself within the boundaries of that role. If it was a choice between her life and happiness on the one hand and his life and happiness on the other, then it wasn't really a choice at all. So, the choice had to be hers.

"You either let me go now, and the off chance still remains that I'll find a cure, and can return to you. If you choose to do so, we will have to agree to a time-limit, so that you don't waste your life chasing a false light of hope.. like me." She was about to say something comforting in answer to his last comment, but thought better of it. This was important for him to say, so she'd better let him say it, with as little interference as possible. "Or, you ask me to stay as your bodyguard, and I'll remain my chimeric self for as long as you might need me. I am little use to you as a bodyguard if I'm just human, and I'm no use to you as a consort if I'm not."

He sounded so serious and determined that she was sure the battle was lost. At least for today. But it all made it so obviously clear to her: He really did love her. He loved her enough to sacrifice that love for her happiness, which was a sweet gesture, but ultimately useless. He loved her, and that made it all the more important to keep him. So that he would realise, that it didn't matter to her if it was all just a part of a great and evil plan to throw over the kingdom. No matter what evil they were plotting, she was sure that a love this great would be able to repel it, and Justice would conquer!

Or.. at least something like that. Bottom-line was that she wasn't afraid. But he was. He was afraid that he'd hurt her. He obviously feared that his body would hurt hers, that his scarred mind would leave hers a wreck, and now also that his mere presence would throw her and her kingdom into ruin. But he was wrong. She could feel it.

"Stay with me, Zelgadis." Was her soft reply. She looked at him as he took her decision in. She couldn't decipher if he was relieved or disappointed. Most possibly he couldn't either. She was pretty certain that he'd taken her choice as a sign of lack of enduring interest in him. That, if she was confronted with waiting for him or just giving up, she'd choose the latter out of convenience. But he somehow looked pleased all the same. Maybe because he appreciated being useful to her, maybe because he silently appreciated being accepted for the body he hated so. She couldn't really tell. But she could tell that he took the statement any other way than the way in which it was meant: She loved him for who he was, and he didn't have to change. Ever. If there was a problem, they'd conquer it!

He probably wouldn't believe her if she said it, or even worse, tell her that she was just being childishly naïve. Well, they'd have to work on that, in time. Right now she was just Cephied forever thankful for the fact that she was given that time. Come tomorrow she'd have a word with her father.. and perhaps also Martina, if she hadn't left already. Tonight had started something, stirred something in her, that she definitely wanted to finish!

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

The following morning (or rather midday, as Amelia woke very late), Amelia and Zel went to Lina, Gourry and their daughter, more or less to drop Amelia off there, while Zel went to face the music. Amelia had said that she'd go and have a talk with her father, but Zel was through with letting other people solve his problems, so he simply ordered her to stay put with the Inverse-Gabrievs. As he stood in front of the heavy double doors, he knew that this might turn ugly. Never the less he had to talk to Phil. Thankfully, he wouldn't have to explain yesterday night in details. He still couldn't forgive himself for that, so how would he expect Phil to.

"Ah, Zelgadis." Said Phil as the chimera entered his office. "I was under the impression that you were leaving, my boy." Phil said, giving Zel an almost suspicious stare.

"No. I'm sorry, but I've changed my decision." The chimera said, his voice as solemn as he could muster.

"No doubt my daughter missing out on breakfast had something to do with that." Phil said, clearing his throat.

"Yes. She was up late... Stopping me from leaving." Zel said, deciding to be honest.

"That'll no doubt make for good gossip-material." Phil said, offhandedly. "We need to have a chat, my boy."

"I love your daughter, Phil." Zel said, his tone of voice very matter-of-factly. He needed the bear to know that for sure, so that his feelings weren't once again misunderstood. Amelia had thought he'd reject her. He needed Phil to know that he really did care. "And I would like to restate my request of being her protector for as long as she might need one."

"I take it that you love her in more than just a friendly way, my boy." Phil said, leaning in over his desk with his hands folded. Zel couldn't decipher his expression.

The chimera nodded his confirmation.

"And you have absolutely no intentions of leaving?" the Prince of Sailrune spoke his words with great care, eying the chimera's reactions out of the corner of his eyes.

"Nothing you can say will make me leave as long as Amelia confirms she needs me." Zelgadis spoke without hesitation.

"You might want to reconsider that statement after you've heard what I have to say." Phil said, and Zel felt his throat tie itself tightly.

Would Phil really be against him staying? Had Filia managed to convince him that this was just a Mazoku scheme too?

"Due to the cancelling of the wedding and the certain.. incidents involving you and my daughter, an odd rumour has been born." Phil started, looking straight at the young man in front of him. "I suspect Orin might have a hand in it, but it would seem that Amelia's purity is being called into question. "

Zel could feel his heart knot up. Yes, this might have something to do with Orin. A rumour like that would just be the thing to throw the odds back in Orin's favour. If the council felt the slightest bit unsure of its validity, they might force her to accept if Orin should restate his proposal.

"You know that it's not true, Prince!" Zel objected, not liking where this was headed at all.

"I believe your word, my boy." The prince countered, but held the chimera's eyes fixed. "However, knowing how my daughter feels about you, and knowing now how you feel about her... The fact that you're not leaving after all.. All the little incidents.. They fuel the rumour mill, my lad."

Zel was just about to object, when he found that anything further denying what had happened would be dishonest. Yes, nothing irrevocable had happened, but that had been a matter of luck more than lack of actual intent.

"And because she's led such a physically active life, the healers inform me that it'd be hard to.. Well, to confirm her innocence, if you understand." Phil went on. "So, seeing how I might soon stand with a daughter on my hand that nobody would want to marry, if this rumour is to circulate any longer, I've decided to choose a husband for her. I'll have them marry before this rumour takes any lasting root, and inflict irreversible damage on our noble house!"

So this was the world's great revenge? This would be the punishment for not having the balls to actually leave the castle yesterday? Once again he was prone to think "why does my mistake keep hurting only Amelia", only to realise that he again only was hiding behind the fact that this perhaps would hurt him most.

Zel's hands fisted at his sides, and he gritted his teeth in order not to say or do anything that might harm his already unsteady position in all of this. But he just couldn't believe it. It didn't sound like something Phil would do. Or even say for that matter. He was treating Amelia as if she was an object. How could he do that to her? Treat her like she was some sort of "damaged goods". Then again, if the council had been on his back for this... but still. It didn't justify this course of action!

"Don't tell me you'll let Orin trick you into-" he started, but the calm shake of Phil's head told him it was a wrong line of thought. Not Orin then. He didn't know if he should feel relieved or not. It would mean that it was somebody else, perhaps somebody she didn't even know.

"And before you ask, I've decided on this myself." Phil said. "The council has urged me to find her a husband, but the decision as to who has been mine entirely."

Zel knew he was probably trying to relieve him, but it didn't serve the purpose. Also he wondered why he was being told all of this before Amelia was. Why he was being told any of this, at all? It had nothing to do with him, unless Phil thought he'd just give up and leave like that after realising she would be permanently off limits.

He knew that. He'd always known that! Heck, it'd been one of his many reasons for keeping himself from falling for her in the first place. He would not fool anybody if he claimed that it would be easy to keep his eyes and hands off her, but if she needed him as a guard or friend, he'd stay. Even if it would hurt. He was through with choosing the easy way out.

"Might I be so bold as to ask who?" he asked.

"I doubt it'd stop you if I said no." Phil said, his voice awfully friendly for a guy who'd just declared that his daughter was to be wed to somebody due to a sodding rumour. "Do not worry yourself, my boy. It is a dependable lad, a bit young, but then weren't we all at a time? Got quite a lot of experience for his age, though. And from a well-known family of strong magicians and sages. Strong allies, too of course, they say that's very important these days. And I've heard he's excellent with administrative tasks. We could use a man like that, I think, if my dear Amelia takes after me. Heaven knows I never cared much for the paperwork."

"The council must be elated, then." The chimera ground out, not at all able to mask his sullen and annoyed tone of voice. Yes, this was exactly what he'd imagine Phil would choose. A right choice, from a political vantage point.

"They'll get over their initial disagreement with the choice, eventually, I'm sure." Phil said, a dismissive wave of his hand successfully conveying his disregard for their concerns.

"And this boy, has he conceded yet?" Perhaps he'd be so lucky. If the boy wasn't willing to throw himself into the mess, Phil would have no choice but to drop the idea of a fast marriage, which in turn might leave Amelia with a little more freedom of choice. The little, petty spark of hope was just as poorly masked as his sullen tone had been just before. Zel figured he'd lost his right to stay anyways, so there was little point in pretending he'd approve of Phil's choice.

"Ehm... No. Not directly." Was the hesitant answer, but Phil quickly regained himself. "He will probably have little say in the matter. However, I'm sure he'll agree eventually. After all, who wouldn't?"

The way Phil looked at him almost made him say "not me" just out of sheer spite, but he found that he couldn't. As much as he hated this situation with his entire blue being, there was just no way in hell he'd be able to say that, not even as a smart-ass-remark, with a straight face. If he were a noble, no matter how spiteful he might have been, he'd still be a fool not to accept Amelia's hand in marriage, and political reasons would play an ever so insignificant part of it.

Phil apparently read that correctly.

"I didn't realise you cared for her this much, my boy." He said, slowly. "this must be quite hard on you then."

"You don't understand..." the chimera began. "I'd sacrifice anything just to see her happy, yet now you rob her of that possibility, and nothing I'd sacrifice would be able to change that."

Phil gave him a measuring look, and fixed his eyes on the chimera's, narrowing them, and looking at him intently over the rim of his folded hands.

"Would you sacrifice even your freedom, boy?" he asked, his voice awfully businesslike.

Zel looked bewildered at him. What had that got to do with anything? He'd sacrifice his life, and everybody knew that. Phil shouldn't have to ask.

"Yes, of course!" he replied without hesitation.

"Would you actually sacrifice your freedom, the freedom you seem to enjoy so much, searching for your cure and all that?" Phils eyes narrowed further. If they narrowed any further than this, Zel doubted Phil would even be able to see at all.

"I'd give my life for her. Freedom without a life is not worth much! Of course I would!"

"Right! Well then, I think we have a deal." Phil said, getting up from his chair, and reaching out his big hand for a handshake over the desk.

The poor chimera just stared, and absentmindedly offered his hand, which was taken in a firm handshake. He hadn't the slightest idea as to what the heck was going on just then.

"A deal?" he heard himself parrot the words in a question, unable to find his own.

"Yes, my boy. It seems only just!" the bear insisted, obviously amused by the confused look in the chimera's wide eyes. "I have a daughter I need to marry off, and seeing how you're the only one that knows with absolute certainty that she's still pure, plus being jointly responsible for the rumours of her lost innocence, I think it's only fitting that I marry her off to you! Besides you're here, which saves some time, and you're intending on staying by her side regardless. Might as well put you to some use, then!" His tone was amused, and it was obvious that this entire "reason" was only a big, dramatic overstatement to excuse the choice.

He'd said it with such ease, like it'd been his plan all along, and like there was no problem with it. What about the other boy, then? The boy who allegedly was handpicked by Phil himself due to his qualities as a ruler, his lineage of mages and his powerful connections...

Wait a minute. Maybe he HAD been planning this from the start of this meeting.

Zel could feel himself tingle with the happy joy that was threatening to run through him. Of course, this unaccustomed feeling was instantly stomped out of his system, and his brain kicked in. This couldn't possibly be happening to him. He did not deserve that things turned out this hilariously well.

"She deserves better than me." He insisted.

Phil's huge fist came down on the wooden desk, which in turn creaked unhappily at the mighty, undeserved blow.

"My daughter is the most precious creature in the entire world." he said, his voice on the verge of justice speeches. And just as the chimera feared, the bear slipped into Justice-mode. "She is the living proof that Justice and Love are the two main forces in this universe, and she is the guiding light to many. She deserves to get anything in this world that she might want, and my boy.." he tuned out of Justice-mode and faced the startled chimera. "..she wants you." He smiled.

"But I'm nothing but a cursed and selfish monster!" Zel tried to regain himself to battle the madness.

"Nonsense, my boy!"

"I'm not kidding, Phil! I've got demon bloods in these veins!"

"If you want to keep it there, I'd think it would be unwise to keep on excusing yourself with that. Your friends and my daughter might grow tired of hearing you say that." Phil joked.

"Not even remotely funny!"

"I've been told she's dealt with demons worse than you." Phil said, dismissively.

Zel almost flushed red, thinking along an entirely different line, apparently.

"NOT as consorts!!" he insisted.

"She's got the light of Love and Justice burning passionately in her! No matter what may come, she'll overcome it!"

"You can't do this to her!"

"You tell me that I can't just marry her off to someone else, now you tell me I can't marry her off to you? Have I read you wrong, boy? Could it be that you do not wish to marry my daughter?" he ashed, sounding honestly worried, but Zel had a feeling he was just pulling his leg.

"No! I mean, yes! Of course I'd like to marry her bu-"

Checkmate.

"Excellent!" Phil exclaimed.

Nothing really seemed to change after that. As Zel left the room he was fighting very hard to feel depressed. This had to go wrong. Something like this didn't come without a price. He just couldn't figure out what it was, and right now he was battling really hard to care.

His feet carried him down the hallways, towards the rooms where Lina and Gourry had been reallocated. He had promised to tell them what Phil would say to him. Now he was trying to find a reasonable way to explain that Phil didn't want him out of the castle. He wanted him as a son-in-law.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

Why Lina was looking like a beaming red beacon he didn't know. If he had to venture a guess, it'd be that Amelia had shared details about last night. Great. Just what he needed!

He pulled Amelia aside, wanting to tell her this in private. Lina and Gourry would know soon enough. And once they knew, there'd be no way to prevent or reverse it. Amelia looked at him, a puzzled stare marring her features. He figured he looked panicked or nervous, and she was most probably afraid that Phil had told him to say his goodbyes and leave for good.

"Amelia.." he started, not having the slightest inkling as to where to start.

"What did daddy say?" Amelia asked.

"He.. He.." Zel wrung his mind. No brilliant ways to put it popped up. "He made me an offer for your hand."

Amelia, to his surprise, only nodded, as if she'd been expecting that. She was obviously fighting not to smile, probably out of fear that he'd said no. He felt he should have. It was the only right thing to do. But he just couldn't. And Phil hadn't even been threatening. Had he only been able to excuse himself with that..

"And what did you tell him then?" she asked, since he didn't follow up on it on his own. She didn't directly sound nervous, but she was biting the inside of her cheek, he could see that much. And her hands were shaking while she held her breath.

"I wasn't strong enough to say no to that offer, Amelia. I'm sorry." He said and hung his head. He felt slightly disappointed in himself that he had to lay the final decision on her. She had to be the one calling this nonsense off. But she would, right? They'd agreed that she could keep him as a bodyguard if she gave up on him as a consort.

The loudest "SQUEE"-sound ever heard penetrated his ears. He just managed t look up before he was tackled by the princess in a fierce embrace.

"Oh, Zelgadis, I'm so happy!" she managed between cries of joy.

"What?!" He looked at her, unbelieving. "You can't be serious, Amelia! This is.." what was he going to say? _This is forever?_ Well, he knew she was willing to try that one on for size, as much as he was. _This is wrong_, perhaps? But he'd tried that argument before, and failed.

"This is exactly what I wanted." She finished for him.

"But, Amelia, I'll.." _I'll what?_ He thought. _I'll be a terrible ruler?_ Phil had already argued that he'd be just the kind of prince-consort the kingdom and Amelia needed. _I'll be a terrible husband?_ Didn't really fly either. He knew he'd try his damn hardest trying to make her happy. _I'll be a terrible father?_ A thought struck him. "Amelia, we don't even know if I can… You know, if it's possible for me to have..kids. Nor what the pregnancy might do to you!"

"We have plenty time to figure that out!" she said, dismissively but determined all the same. "We're not in any hurry, you know."

"But I'm a monster.." he tried, although he had to grant her that it did sound a little flat and untrue now. How had that changed? "I shouldn't have returned. I've only brought more confusion and pain.." It was like he had to say it out loud to believe it. And even then he wasn't quite convinced.

She looked at him, and shook her head as slowly as was necessary to accentuate her point.

"When I saw you again, I was so happy." She said. "I'd missed you terribly, and you came back to me. You've done all sorts of things to make me happy. Like keeping my bracelet, or standing by my side. Or even helping me with the paper-work. And those roses you'd bought for me when you came back... I know it was only a symbolic statement, but it meant the world to me!"

"I remember. You stung yourself on them. It was pretty accurate, yes." Said Zel. "I'll hurt you. No matter how much you like me, I'll hurt you as soon as you get too close."

She gently shook her head.

"No, Zel. That's not all. Those were the first real roses I'd gotten. The first roses with thorns. The first roses that dared to show me that they had thorns. Where they hadn't been bred out or peeled off for my convenience." She took his hands in hers, and looked at his eyes, hers deep with emotion and a little glassy. "Without the thorns a rose has no natural beauty. It looks fake to the eye, and is fake in essence, because it's been robbed of a vital part of what defines a rose. The fact that a rose sting doesn't make it any less appealing for those who love roses." She said, beaming at him. "Remember when we talked about some people being too consumed by light so that they had no shadows. I may be a little too swallowed by light, so I really do need your shadows, Zelgadis. I want you for your good sides as well as the bad. Is that really so hard to comprehend?"

"But you don't really know me. You don't know what I'm capable of doing!" he insisted. She didn't really love him, she loved what she thought was him. But that wasn't all.

"Tell me what you're afraid I might not have seen?" she dared him.

"I know that I'll hurt you." He simply stated, not able to pin it further down, and not even sure that this was actually the case anymore. All this happiness seemed to cloud his mind.

She laughed. She laughed, loud, clear and relieved.

"You only think that you'll hurt me. Just because you think it, doesn't necessarily make it come true! What you think are your most monstrous sides are actually your most human sides, Zelgadis." she then turned to smile at him, a little daringly. "I'm not afraid of you. You shouldn't be either!" she smiled. She tiptoed to kiss him, and to his surprise he answered her kiss with no hesitation or fear for once.

"Hey! HEY!! I heard the happy-squee!! Now come back in here and GIMME DETAILS!!" shouted a certain redhaired sorceress. The two lovebirds let go of each other, sharing a knowing, warm glance, before grinning and walking back to face their friends. She'd probably be quite ecstatic that her plan turned out the way she wanted it to. It didn't matter to them. It didn't matter whose plan it really was. It was their reality, and that was all that really mattered.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

**AN:** Well, for a "short story" this turned out to grow rather big on me. I think that one of the reasons why it did so was because that I really tried to mingle a bit of realism into it. And you don't do that with a show like Slayers. Not unpunished. Next time I have a go at the universe I'll either try to retain the gritty realism, or drop keeping the characters and universe in character. But then again.. This was an awful lot of fun. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I for one had a real blast writing it, and that's what matters the most, I think. ;)

Thanks for reading.

Oh, and to Lil'Dinky and everybody else who want me to take a go at the X/F fics.. Alright, I'll try. But this will probably be a LOT shorter. ;)


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